Thank you note etiquette

bliss611

DH and I are not agreeing about this so I wanted to ask what the etiqutte is about thank you notes.

DH says we should send them with the birth annoucements after the baby is born. That's how we have gotten most thank you cards from friends.

But most of these people had their shower fairly close to the birth. I am having 2 showers - 1 at 28 weeks and 1 at 31 weeks. To me, waiting for the baby to be born, getting pics and announcements done and then sending everything, seems like a long time to wait to send thank you cards.

What do you all think?

ktsnshn

I sent all my bridal shower thank yous out within two weeks of the shower. I intend to do the same with my baby showers which are at 29, 30 and 31 weeks.

ocho2002

You should send them as close to the shower as possible, not after the birth.

EastCoastBride

Your DH is wrong.

adcffaa

I'd send them seperately, sending them together could result in someone getting a thank you that didn't even go to your shower (if you send someone a birth announcement that either was never invited or couldn't come to the shower). I don't know how other people are doing it but I'm sending mine out via snail mail the day of the shower (after the shower I'm stopping by an outgoing mailbox, whoever came to the shower will have theirs dropped in the outgoing mailbox, the others will be thrown out). That way they don't wait forever getting a thank you and I don't wait so long and end up forgetting to do it. I would have just handed them out at the shower but to me, thats just a little weird and maybe even tacky.

hopefulmom

Looks like a lot of your friends/family who sent both together were trying to save on postage.  I would send them ASAP after the showers.  And...like you said they would be waiting 3 months or more before getting a thank you?  By that time they will probably have already written you off as ungreatful.  lol

K.a.T.e

I'm not sure how the 2 are related?  There is a thank you note for the gift (which is a must) and then a birth announcement. A thank you note is an etiquette requirement, the birth announcement is not.

Did your friends send the birth annoucement in lieu of a thank you note?  Or did they scrawl "thanks for the gift" on the back of the annoucement?

 

bliss611

K.a.T.e:

I'm not sure how the 2 are related?  There is a thank you note for the gift (which is a must) and then a birth announcement. A thank you note is an etiquette requirement, the birth announcement is not.

Did your friends send the birth annoucement in lieu of a thank you note?  Or did they scrawl "thanks for the gift" on the back of the annoucement?

 

Ones we got together had a thank you card in teh envelope with the announcement.

 Thanks everyone - I will be buying my cards this week and start writing for the gifts I have already received.

DaniLovesPink

You should have all the thank you cards sent out within two weeks of the shower.  The wedding is the only exception to this rule, where it allows for three months.  The only other time I could see feasible exception is if your child was born within two weeks of the shower date.

K.a.T.e

bliss611:

K.a.T.e:

I'm not sure how the 2 are related?  There is a thank you note for the gift (which is a must) and then a birth announcement. A thank you note is an etiquette requirement, the birth announcement is not.

Did your friends send the birth annoucement in lieu of a thank you note?  Or did they scrawl "thanks for the gift" on the back of the annoucement?

 

Ones we got together had a thank you card in teh envelope with the announcement.

 Thanks everyone - I will be buying my cards this week and start writing for the gifts I have already received.

Great! 

Since your DH had such strong opinions on this, he should help with the thank you cards.  Put him to work!

Mama_SAS

The only time I get a thank you note with a birth announcement is when I give a gift at the time of the birth. Shower thank yous should be sent quickly after the shower.

NewMama2010

EastCoastBride:

Your DH is wrong.

This. You should get your thank you cards out asap and do the birth announcements seperately.

bedebum13

I personally plan on sending thank you cards within two weeks of my shower like I did for my bridal shower and wedding.  If you have at shower at 28 weeks and then say you go full term so 12 weeks later you have the baby and then it takes you another 2-3 weeks to get the announcements ready - that means friends/family are waiting possibly 14 weeks or more for a thank you.  That seems like too long to me.

bobbidall

I agree with pp's, get them done asap after shower, not after birth.