How do you deal w/ stbx dating??

judyzee

We are not even legally separated yet. I'm pregnant and due in six weeks.  Anyway, we still have our joint acct together and I can see that he was at the airport. Now i know he didnt book any flights on any of our joint cards so he obviously didnt want me to know where or who he is traveling with. He travels a lot for work so its not unusual that he would be booking flights. Anyway, I just have a gut feeling he's away with whoever it is he probably left me for.

How do I deal with this? I dont know it for sure but either way it will happen eventually. I'm not even going to ask him becuase he. will. lie. One of the hardest parts of this whole divorce is the thought of him with someone else. It kills me. Even though i know he is a POS and i know he will do to her what he's done to me , i know it. It just doesnt help. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope w/ this ?

achase123

Well personally speaking I would LOVE it if STBXH started dating.  It would get him off my sh*t about getting back together when that "ain't gonna happen".  But I can see where you are coming from and I don't really know what to say because, of course it is going to hurt.  Especially when you are pregnant with his child, hormonal, probably not feeling that great about yourself.  The best thing to do is once you have the baby, get into the best shape of your life, mentally, physically, and spiritually.  Heal yourself from the inside out, surround yourself with friends, family, and LO.  Eventually you will come to realize you are SO much better off and pity the woman that has to be with X.  And going on a few dates and getting dressed up never hurts your self esteem!

fauxshelley

Wow.  That's a tough one.  I found out after the baby was born that DB had been seeing another woman the entire time, and that explains why he wanted me to terminate the pregnancy.  I won't lie, it was devastating, and we were already divorced.  It took me about 2 months to get to the point to where I didn't want to physically hurt him when I saw him.  I will say this, for me ignorance was bliss.  I am not saying you don't have a right to know, but for me, it made matters worse.  He may be cheating, he may not.  Will that change the fact that you are getting divorced?  Probably not.  If you do choose to find out, do it with the intention of using the information in your divorce.  Become empowered by his stupid decisions and use it to better your situation.  I would also recommend counseling for you.  I have been where you are (alone and pg) and therapy helped me alot. 

GL! And ((((HUGS))))

inbetween

I have said this myself!! I dread the day I see him with someone else, but I know it will come.

I have always been overweight, but when he left I was at my heaviest ever. My goal is to work on me. I am trying to lose weight, I want to get into the best shape I have ever been in.

I know for a fact he still checks my facebook page, and I saw him checking me out during his last visit. LOL. At this point I try very hard not to let him know how I trully feel.

In the end, he will be the one that regrets it for the rest of his life, and he will have no one to blame but himself.

Mominator

Honestly, I don't care. Heck, I would love it if he found a girlfriend, maybe then he would leave me the hell alone. Of course, it sounds like my situation is a bit different than yours because I was the one that asked my H to leave.

haleyw458

I had to deal with him dating someone else about 2 weeks after we broke up. Hardest thing I've ever had to do. What was hard was that he was treating her so much better than he had treated me. I just kept telling myself that they were in the honeymoon stage and she would soon see how he really is! Now when I look back on it, I'm glad he dated her or else I probably would have crawled right back to him!

ErinC27

My STBXH did what they say men never do, leave me for the other woman. It is hard. It is hard every day. But I know he wasn't good for me. He did that, so he isn't a good person. He didn't tell her he was married with a child, and then I told her, and she is still with him. I know that they deserve each other. I am working on me and trying not to think of them together and I know that is all I can do, I bet it is all you can do too. 

blondnearby

I caught my stbx cheating and still tried to work it out for three months.  I found out roughly two weeks after I caught him cheating that I was PG with DD#2.  He supposedly was dating 3 different people in July of 07 and started dating a 16 year old in August of 07 which was when I filed for divorce. He continued to see the underaged girl that I had suspected but wasnt sure because he lied to me.  I found out in February when talking to his mom that he was infact seeing her and that they were living together (found numerous items around his apartment that were hers).  They are now engaged (she turned 18 in August) and she is roughly 16 to 20 weeks PG.  I cannot stand her.  I tried to like her but she is just drama.  She has posted slander and libel on the internet.  She even tried to get me involved when he cheated on her two summers ago.  She is a liar and frankly has a lot of growing up to do in my book.  At this point, I would be fine with him having a SO as long as she were a decent human being.  Right now, because of the texts, slander, libel and character testimony,  she is not allowed around my DDs w/o supervision which cannot be my stbx.  I will admit it was very hard to know he was dating someone else and yes, I was peeved when I found out he had got her PG.  But I knew it would happen.  I think my biggest issue now, and I was talking to my SO about this last night, is the fact that I resent him for starting a new life.  He only sees our girls roughly 14 days a year.  I would love to be able to go out and finish school with out the stresses of being a single mom.  I would love to go out on date with my SO and not have to worry about my DDs.  I would love a day off some days.  Instead he plays disneyland dad (buys them a lot of gifts) when he is in town.  He got to start over and start fresh.  Now don't get me wrong, my DDs are my life and I dont regret having them but I sometimes it irks me that he gets to start over completely while I struggle financially and sometimes emotionally to raise our two special needs DDs.  If he couldnt cut it with us how does he think he will cut it with someone else?