When do babies learn to manipulate/cry on demand?

schmoodle

I always believed that babies couldn't manipulate or cry for attention or things like that until they were much older...but the last couple days, we've noticed Toodle will SCREAM bloody murder when you do something he doesn't like and literally stop 4 seconds later - no real tears. Like if he reaches for a remote and we take it away, if he sees me going to wipe his nose (which he hates)...is he old enough to cry as a way to get us to do/not do what he wants yet? Or is it just a coincidence he can turn it off/on so quickly?

Doesn't really matter - I have no intention of stopping responding to his cries immediately regardless, just curious. And we like to tease him for being a crybaby.

mrsolsenk12

Around the 7-8 months, they can start to learn how to get what they want. Today, Hayden was crying because he wanted me to pick him up. I pick him up, he immediatly stops (and no tears). I hold him for a couple of minutes and put him down, the fussing/fake crying starts again. I play with him and distract him and boom it stops.

Christakim

I want to say around 7 or 8 months.  Ella's always been good at being manipulative..lol.

sasa625

Our pedi keeps telling us that it can start as early as 6 months... it doesn't change the way we respond to DD but sometimes helps give an idea of why she might be crying

charmcitygirl

I think that babies don't have the ability to say, "Hey Mommy!   I wanted to play with that remote." or "I HATE it when you wipe my nose, even if the snot is running into my mouth."

So, they cry.  I don't think its manipulation.  I just think its their way of communicating that they do not approve of what you're doing.  Take it or leave it...until they start talking, the crying/whining is it to represent, "I don't like it."

somethingchangd

charmcitygirl:

I think that babies don't have the ability to say, "Hey Mommy!   I wanted to play with that remote." or "I HATE it when you wipe my nose, even if the snot is running into my mouth."

So, they cry.  I don't think its manipulation.  I just think its their way of communicating that they do not approve of what you're doing.  Take it or leave it...until they start talking, the crying/whining is it to represent, "I don't like it."

You said it, sister!

scherza

We call it the "DO NOT WANT!" cry, and it starts around 6 months. 

I wouldn't say it's manipulation as much as it's just the age when it starts to click with them that people communicate with sounds for more than just food/sleep/clean bum, and they try it out.

On a side note, though, I can't understand why babies protest so vigorously when someone wipes their noses!

schmoodle

scherza:

On a side note, though, I can't understand why babies protest so vigorously when someone wipes their noses!

LOL, seriously!!

And thanks for the responses, I agree that manipulate may not be the right word - we're just not used to him crying or sounding that upset unless there's something seriously wrong (he's always been more of a fusser than a cryer) so this is new and the fact that he does it when he's not really that upset made me want to try and describe it as something different - but the analogy of him just using as his way of expressing dislike makes perfect sense.

hannah&ben

It always makes me sad when I hear people say stuff about their babies being manipulative.  Even if Toodle is crying because you do something he doesn't like why is manipulation?  Couldn't it just be that he is super pissed?  Then once it's over he moves on quickly and isn't pissed anymore?  Babies are extremely limited in their communication skills... even if they are crying to get what they want I still don't get how it's manipulative... they're just using the best way they know how to get what they want... in my book that's smart The word manipulate has such a negative connotation.. it's hard for me to hear it associated with the actions of a baby.

I dunno... I know you don't really mean anything by it and obviously you said it's not going to change how you respond to him   for some reason that phrasing just really gets under my skin... 

Like, more than once on this board people have mentioned that their child cries for them at night but not their DH... so they're certain that their child is simply trying to manipulate them... how is a child's desire for comfort and affection from his or her mother manipulation?  I just don't get it.

I'm so sorry for this ramble... it's just one of those things that bugs me!

hannah&ben

I should have read all the responses before I replied.

schmoodle

hannah&ben:

I should have read all the responses before I replied.

No problem, I completely agree with you! That's why I said I didn't think of babies this age being able to manipulate, I was more co-opting the phrasing I see so often on the boards, but what I really meant was crying not because they're scared/tired/hungry/hurt but just for littler things/annoyance or to get you to do something. I certainly don't think he's manipulative for wanting the remote, lol. And for some reason it never works to give him the one that doesn't work.

skoorbnibor

I remember Ethan screaming sitting on his blanket and then smiling at us when we appeared at just over 6 months.

RoxBride

I don't think the word manipulate is a bad word - it is what it is, a baby trying to change the word through communication. 

I don't think when people use the word manipulation to describe their babies them mean anything sinister by it, or that they are attributing some negative trait to their babies.  It's simply a word to describe trying to get the world to work the way they want it to.

LucyPevensie

hannah&ben:

It always makes me sad when I hear people say stuff about their babies being manipulative.  Even if Toodle is crying because you do something he doesn't like why is manipulation?  Couldn't it just be that he is super pissed?  Then once it's over he moves on quickly and isn't pissed anymore?  Babies are extremely limited in their communication skills... even if they are crying to get what they want I still don't get how it's manipulative... they're just using the best way they know how to get what they want... in my book that's smart The word manipulate has such a negative connotation.. it's hard for me to hear it associated with the actions of a baby.

I dunno... I know you don't really mean anything by it and obviously you said it's not going to change how you respond to him   for some reason that phrasing just really gets under my skin... 

Like, more than once on this board people have mentioned that their child cries for them at night but not their DH... so they're certain that their child is simply trying to manipulate them... how is a child's desire for comfort and affection from his or her mother manipulation?  I just don't get it.

I'm so sorry for this ramble... it's just one of those things that bugs me!

Hannah .. you complete me.    (And schmoods I know what you meant.  I just love Hannah's take on the whole "manipulate" thing - a terrible word to describe a baby's GENUINE feelings - sadness, anger, desire for mama's arms around him/her.)