It worked for me. RE: Sleeping babies

juliane2004

I see a lot of posts about moms with babies who "won't sleep". It's true every baby is different, and it's true some are more awake than others. But...

First, don't do anything anyone tells you to do if you don't want to. If something works for you, fantastic, no need to change.

Second, my LO STTN 9-11 hours 90% of the time, and naps about 4-5 hours in the day time (3 naps of 1.5-2 hrs each). So, in case you're interested, here's what works for me:

- swaddle DD for every nap and at bedtime using the Escape Proof Swaddle. Seriously, this has been our miracle: ever since we started this, she has slept > 7 hrs (the most was 11 hrs 15 minutes!!!) in a row every single night.

- I really, really focus on my LO's awake times (see guideline below). I look for tired cues, yes, but usually, I just go by the amount of time she's been awake since her last nap/sleep (including diaper changes, feeding, playing, and the amount of time it takes the baby to fall asleep! etc). We put Hailey (3 months) down for naps/bed after 1 hr and 10-20 minutes of awake time. Typically, it takes babies 20 minutes to fall asleep, so include this in your awake time (i.e. if their awake time is good at 90 minutes, but them down at 70 minutes).

Guideline for Awake time for babies
Newborn 50-60 mins
1 month 60 mins-hour and 15
2 months 1 hour and 15 - 20 mins
3 months 1 hour and 20 - 30 mins
4 months 1 hour and 45 - 2 hours
5 months 2 hours - 2.25 hours
Late 5 months/early 6 months 2.25-2.5 hours
6.5 - 7 months 2.75-3 hours. Some are getting more.
8 - 10 months 3 - 4 hours. Some are getting more.
11 - 12 months 3.5 -4.5 hours. Some are getting more if moved early to 1 nap

- I have also read in the Baby Whisperer (and found to be true with my baby) that naps < 20 minutes tends to mean the baby is likely not tired enough (and activity/awake time needs to be increased by 5-15 minutes); and naps longer than 20 minutes but shorter than 45 minutes tend to mean the baby is OVERtired, and activity/awake time likely needs to be decreased by 5-15 minutes.

- In my opinion, once a baby has been fed, changed, burped well, etc (i.e. all needs met), if she fusses a bit or chats to herself for 10 minutes that is okay with me. It is not CIO, but it is giving her a chance to settle herself. If she cries, of course I react: I'll go in, put my hand on her chest, put her soother back in, and gently stroke from her forehead to her nose (till she closes her eyes/calms down), then walk away. I may repeat this 2-3 times, and usually by then she's asleep! Sometimes, I dont even have to go in at all, and she closes her eyes within the first 10 minutes.

I have a "textbook baby" according to the Baby Whisperer's temperament quiz (of which something similar can be found here). It is my opinion that this is why my baby tends to act as "guidelines" suggest.

Anyways, I just wanted to post this in case it helps anyone. Please feel free to PM me or comment or email (alyssa.gavinski@gmail.com) if you want. I don't know the answer to everything, by any means, but I would love to help if I can.

finally_mommy2b

thank you! i am copy and pasting it to a doc so i can refer to it.

Lil'Misa

I also follow the clock for naps. I found that he sleeps better when I put him down after being awake for an hour or an hour and 15 minutes.  It can take him 3 - 15 minutes to fall asleep for naps.  Also, I know the difference between his falling asleep noises and the about to cry noises. So I pick him up when he is going to cry and leave him be when he isn't.

farrellashleigh

ahappygilmore

I'm going to try the escape proof swaddle next time he goes down for a nap. Thanks for posting! We are really really trying....DS does not fall asleep easily and I know he is so overtired most of the time. This post is a good reminder to not give up...

wnk1029

Another "textbook baby" here... he also sleeps 8-10 hrs a night.  We don't swaddle, but he does tend to nap after about 1.5hrs of awake time, so what you've posted makes a lot of sense.

alybookgirl

Thanks!

dragonsmercy

Heh... I have a "Grumpy baby"... swaddling doesn't work, she takes forever to finish a bottle (she likes to snack), no matter when we try to put her down for a nap, she won't go for it, thereby making herself overtired, staying awake for 3 - 4 hours at a time, sometimes.... some days she'll nap for 20 minutes at a time, other days she'll nap for 2 hours at a time. She will generally sleep for 5.5 - 7 hours, eat, then sleep for another 3 hours or so at night, which personally I think isn't too bad And she doesn't much like to smile... and hasn't laughed at all yet

Kingston54

Very helpful

bim38106

Great post! We follow that too, basically everything you posted holds true for us as well, so I can vouch for it

spwspw

Stupid question: do you include feeding time in your awake time? My LO takes almost an hour to eat, since she nurses and is supplemented.  If I try to go by these guidelines, I will be putting her down for a nap as soon as she's done eating, which goes against the whole EASY principle.

juliane2004

spwspw:

Stupid question: do you include feeding time in your awake time? My LO takes almost an hour to eat, since she nurses and is supplemented.  If I try to go by these guidelines, I will be putting her down for a nap as soon as she's done eating, which goes against the whole EASY principle.

Yes, include everything in which they are NOT sleeping. One solution for the easy routine if your baby takes an hour to eat, is to have the "A"wake/activity time be as simple as a diaper change.

hisbride2be2

bump!

wheelenl

This is great, and it worked great with #1. The trouble is that when it's not your first baby, you can't do everything by the baby's clock because of things like preschool drop off/pickup, etc.

But like I said it worked great for my first...I'm still trying to figure out a way to do a good sleep schedule when LO falls asleep on the way to preschool pickup and then wakes up as soon as we get back home....sigh.

Mrs.KLF

Great post!  We are implementing some of these things, but not all, so I'll be bookmarking this page and trying this out.  Thanks!

yourmom5309

Great Post.

juliane2004

wheelenl:

This is great, and it worked great with #1. The trouble is that when it's not your first baby, you can't do everything by the baby's clock because of things like preschool drop off/pickup, etc.

But like I said it worked great for my first...I'm still trying to figure out a way to do a good sleep schedule when LO falls asleep on the way to preschool pickup and then wakes up as soon as we get back home....sigh.

Very good point. I will have to figure all that out too, when #2 joins us.

gillysk

sfl

juliane2004

gillysk:

sfl

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autumn bliss

Bump

Thank you to whomever linked to this.  I have a great baby who sleeps 12 straight hours at night but naps like crap.

brownie123

sfl

MrsP321

sfl

KerryHS

Really great post.  Thanks for taking the time.  I am also a big swaddler but I am going to use the fool proof method tonight.  I have also read the Baby Whisperer as well as Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child.  I do well with the sleep cues, but naps continue to be erratic.  He will sleep in 45 minute segments easily, but doesn't stay asleep longer than that without help.  I am trying to avoid picking him up and will use a pacificer during the day.  At night I do pick him up because it only takes 2 minutes for him to get back to sleep, but his night time wakings are increasing.  He used to sleep for at least 4 hours in a row at night and now he is waking every 2 hours.  We think it is gas.  Do you have any suggestions?

juliane2004

KerryHS:

Really great post.  Thanks for taking the time.  I am also a big swaddler but I am going to use the fool proof method tonight.  I have also read the Baby Whisperer as well as Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child.  I do well with the sleep cues, but naps continue to be erratic.  He will sleep in 45 minute segments easily, but doesn't stay asleep longer than that without help.  I am trying to avoid picking him up and will use a pacificer during the day.  At night I do pick him up because it only takes 2 minutes for him to get back to sleep, but his night time wakings are increasing.  He used to sleep for at least 4 hours in a row at night and now he is waking every 2 hours.  We think it is gas.  Do you have any suggestions?

My first suggestion (because, again, it worked for me) is to NOT wait for sleep cues, but rather to keep a tight eye on the clock and use that for your awake time guidelines (don't forget to include the time it takes to fall asleep!). 

I don't have any specific advice about the night wakings, but if he gets better naps, it's likely he'll get better sleep overnight too.

Here's a blog I reference a lot, and here's specifically an index for sleep problems:

https://www.babywisemom.com/2009/12/index-sleep-problems.html

changingnames

Marking

changingnames

Bookmarking

Pennilyn Novus

SFL!

Bluescarf

AmyG*:

eh my first born could have written your guide,

except without watching that clock that was his basic schedule.

He was, what I like to call, an Easy Keeper.  Easy to settle, easy to work with, easy to get to sleep, easy going.

He's still that way as a 15 year old.

His younger brother, however, is a high needs personality.  He needs less sleep than I do, and always has.  as an infant he slept for 15 minutes at a time.

no amount of charts, or setting, swaddling, white noise, changing schedules or anything else worked for him.

Your suggestions work fairly well for easy babies.

difficult babies, your suggestions may make a mom feel like she's STILL doing everything wrong if she can't make your wonderful sounding suggestions work out for her. 

 

Besides the fact that when you interfere with a basic human need to eat and sleep by scheduling and overscheduling everything for an infant, they learn to eat by the clock, sleep by the clock and not listen to their own needs.  THAT can cause long term sleep and eating problems, that may not be seen until adolescent or teenaged years. 

 

pay attention to the baby's needs first, not the schedule, no matter how good it may sound when listed on a message board for sleep deprived parents of 0-3 month old babies.

 

I'm not too sure about this part, that you are causing long-term sleep problems. Most of us have a schedule of when we eat, work, sleep, etc. and it works. I know for my baby at least that he was having a terrible time and was really stressing himself and me out because he wasn't getting enough sleep, and our routine was unpredictable. Once I started out a schedule that I let him sort of set by just keeping notes of when he seemed sleepy, hungry, etc. he was a totally different baby. He doesn't STTN anymore, but he seems happy and secure knowing what is coming next. He naps amazingly well and is now sleeping better because he takes in more calories during feedings without all the grazing. I think it is different for everyone though. I do have an easy baby, but mainly because of following a loose schedule.