Tell me this is normal...DH is sad

iteachk

K has always been a momma's baby.  I SAH and she is used to me doing things for her...feeding, bathing, dressing, etc.  DH works long & hard to allow me to SAH, and also helps a lot around the house.  By the time he gets home at night, there's not much time to spend with K.

When he tries to give her a bath & put her jammies on, she screams bloody murder b/c she wants me to do it.  I try to insist that he finish & not let her get her way, but he gets so upset & frustrated.

Tell me this is normal & give me advice, please.

TIA

SammyluvsJ

DS does that too...No real advice...sometimes I'll go with DH but we just go ahead with DH doing it and he reminds our LO that he'll see mommy in a second. Its not fun for anyone.

Septbride2004

Sometimes my DD gets like this too.  It helps if I am not around so she isn't crying for me.  Are you usually in the room when he is with her?

laurenbug

It's normal, and hard for daddies.   DS often does this to DH too.  I try to make myself unavailable (I often take long hot showers!!) so that they are "forced" to be together, and usually by the time I'm back, DS is having a blast.  It is hard, though, because DH knows that if I'll just get DS, he'll be his happy self again...

I'm sure at some point they'll be all about our DH's, and we'll be the sad ones!

janinekrause

I would keep letting him do it. Is he home on weekends? If so, I would start leaving for a few hours to do errands, etc so they spend some time alone together. It is normal but I would push the issue a little bit.

mlf625

Is there some time during the day that DH can spend one on one with your daughter?  Is she an early riser?  DS wakes early (6:30am) and DH gets up with him and spends a few hours with him (doing breakfast, playing toys, then DS plays in the bathroom while DH gets ready).  I think that's really helped DS to bond with DH.  If they didn't spend that time together, DH would pretty much never see DS since he comes home late most nights.  If that's not possible, I'd make an effort to have him do a lot of one on one care on the weekends.

I wouldn't worry though, I think this is pretty normal kid behavior! 

Wally3

Seems normal to me.  I try to hide out in the bedroom some nights and let DS and DH have one on one time.  DS does better if he can't see me.  Sometimes he will cry when I go.  If DH palys with him he usually gets over it pretty quickly.

*NNO*

It's very normal. Children naturally latch on to the people they are around the most. Is there any way your DH can cut back on some of his hours? If not-- can he do more daddy/daughter things with her on the weekends?
Sounds like they need to bond more.

tmp-336341562506044

Definitely normal. DH gets sad too. I actually let them have alone time because if I'm not around DS will be very happy with DH. Since they have been having alone time it has gotten a lot better when I am around.

Faith1318

happens here too. you can at least let him know he's not alone!

iteachk

They do spend time together on Sundays while I run errands.  She is fine with him when I'm gone.  For some reason, bathtime just sets her off.  Maybe b/c she's getting tired.  I do leave the room & do something else.  He also gets upset b/c she refuses to give him a kiss & has never said da-da.  We'll keep trying...thanks for the suggestions & reassurance.  Looking forward to joining you next month.

LoriFalce

Joseph went through that period, and my husband WAH! It was so hard on him, but give it time. Now Joseph never has kisses for me, only for Daddy. (I get "love," though, and he doesn't...that means he lays his head on me and pats me and says "Awww!")

 

janinekrause

It will change for sure. DD used to be the biggest daddas girl ever. We both work but I spent way more time with her doing pick up at night until she went to bed because DH was at work. Now depends on her mood who she prefers going to. She still is so in love with him- some moms would have gotten upset- but I was happy she was so comfortable with him since that isn't the norm.

Mrs.V

DH knows to get me to leave the room and then he and DS have the best of times! They laugh and play like we never do, but if I'm around, DS is clingy!

nooniesgal

dd is the same way most the time.  I literally just have to be out of sight.  She eventually realizes that he is much cooler than I am.   My dh works all hours of the day so I know how it is!  My dd is a big routine gal though so I think alot of it has to do with him doing things differently. 

MNheidi

I too, would suggest he spend as much along time w/ her as possible. 

mary5198

Definitely normal. My husband works two jobs so that I only have to work 2-3 nights/week, so he doesn't get to spend nearly as much time w/ Michael as he would like. I'd definitely try to set up some one-on-one time for them on the weekends, evenings, early mornings, whatever works for you guys. You're definitely not alone

J&A2008

At nighttime, LO is ALL about momma.  I think when they're tired, they're more needy and want mom's comfort.

Can you get her up in time to eat breakfast with DH?  Or at least see him for 15-20 for daddy play time?

 

MrsG2B07

Its normal.  I work PT and DH watches DD some days and my mom on others.  But, she still wants me over DH or anyone for that matter.  Even though she probably spends about the same amount of time with me and him.

They just know their mommy's.  Its a normal phase and he shouldn't take it personally.  Sorry no good advice.

CelticWife

Since you SAH, can't she stay up later/get up later so she can spend more time with her dad? DS doesn't go to bed until 10:30/11 and wakes up around 9.

We also do his bath and storytime together. Have you guys tried both doing it for a while, then slowly letting him take on more and more of the work?

I also know that most children go through several stages when they only want one parent. Just mom, then later just dad, then just mom again.

I am sorry your DH is sad. I know how it feels! DS is going through a "I only want daddy" stage.