BoF, I'll try. My flameworthy confession

belle204

it annoys me when people say they feel like single moms. ok, feeling like one and being one are two different things. sure you may have to deal with the child(ren) yourself whib hubs is out making the money. but i am taking care of the cild, the house, the bills, working ... all of it ... alone. maybe it's b/c i'm only on this side of the fence i can't fathom what you're saying. yes, i have my family to help at times but i have no one coming home to possibly give me a break. it's all me all the time. **** can't edit so i would like to back up & retract the statement about the hub being out making money in case any working women ever make the statement. don't want to be impartial)

Brideofranken

I bow to the single mother- seriously.

I say all the time that I feel like a single mom with nice alimony payments and child support...and someone to take out the trash- and often little else.

eclaires

I agree w/ that 100% - I think it's SO offensive when married mothers say that.

Regardless of physical presence, you're still getting a) financial support and b) emotional support.  

My mom was a single mom for a few years, and I can guarantee any time my husband travels or works long hours, my experience is nowhere NEAR what hers was.

It's ridiculous and just so self-absorbed to say that.  

Zenya

I agree that it's totally different.

Dimplz

Right on Belle! No flames here.

Mominator

No flames from me. I was a single mother until DS#1 was 7 y/o and now find myself a single mother again, except this time I have 3 kids. It definitely rubs me the wrong way when woman say that.

DevonPow

I agree and totally see your point. I myself have said that in the past, and I will make sure I don't again - it definitely isn't a comparison.

MelandJeff

I will go further to say, that even while being a single mom, they have no clue what it is like to go SOLO. Like, not only being a single mom, but not having the dad around to provide ANY support for that child whatsoever. But, in their defense, having never experienced TRUE single mom hood, they truly do feel like they are single moms. Only a few unlucky few of us will ever really "get" that, and I dont wish that on my worst enemy.

goodheartedmommy

DevonPow:

I agree and totally see your point. I myself have said that in the past, and I will make sure I don't again - it definitely isn't a comparison.

 

pincushions

penguingrrl

I totally agree with you!  I am not a single mom, but I was raised by a single mom and have seen just how difficult it is!  Everything was on her all the time.... earn money, pay bills, cook dinner, clean, attend school functions (x3) and nothing for herself because there wasn't enough time in the day!    Even though DH comes home late and leaves early much of the time (I'm talking 7a-11p many days) when he can be here he is and he's a huge help and I know how valuable it is!

august06mom

PMQ:

You know what? I've never thought of it that way, and you're absolutely right.

It's like when people say to me that having Ben and Joey are like having twns because Joey functions at the level of an 8-month-old. Um, no, trust me, it's NOTHING like having twins.

People actually say that?   Wow.

ali-1411

YES!  I agree with you completely.  I did the single-mom thing till DS was 4 years old.  Just because your husband travels a lot or works too much or is a jerk does not make you anything like a single mom!  Until you've had to explain to your 3 year old why he doesn't have a daddy like all his daycare friends do, then just shut up.