wakes/funerals

CommAve07

For those who have had to attend one, did you bring your LO?  My DS is 11.5 months right now and I am trying to figure out what is best to do, since I will be out of the house for so long trying to coordinate a sitter etc.

TIA 

southernbelle82

Yes.  I've unfortunately had to attend 2 visitations of 2 friends and had to bring K to both.  The second one we went to, K was about 11.5 months.  She did fine.  She enjoyed walking along the pews and played with the people standing in line.

Selfishly, it helped me to be able to hug on her b/c both visitations were so difficult emotionally.

CelticWife

I personally wouldn't do it, especially if it is an open casket. I have seen LOs get really freaked out at things like that and it is just a weird place for them to be. (Although your LO might be young enough that he would be oblivious to what is going on. It is when they are toddlers and know something sad is up but not what it can get dicey.)

If there is a reception or something after the funeral, LO can certainly go to that.

You, DH, and family can definitely take turns with LO in the lobby or another room if you want him there.

busygal

I was specifically invited to bring DD to a wake because the son of the guy who died thought the other bereaved would like to see a baby there.

If it was a difficult, emotionally charged funeral I probably wouldn't have done it though. This was an older person who had been sick, so it was sad but not crushingly so. KWIM?

ShanJosh777

If you are just going to visitation, I think it would be fine to take him. 

But if it is family where you need to be there the whole time, I wouldn't unless you absolutely have to.  When my uncle passed, there were three separate visitation times that were two hours each.  Plus the funeral.  It was hard enough for me to be there, I couldn't imagine if I had DS with me all that time.  He was about 15 months at the time and a wild man.

betsnup

I wouldn't be against bringing D to a wake, but I probably wouldn't bring him to a funeral, just because he wouldn't understand and would want to run around and act like a maniac the whole time.  I think it depends on the kid and who the funeral is for.

Temp552270562505132

FIL passed away in november- and i brought DS with me to everything.  My parents were there also so if he got tired/fussy they could take him back to their hotel room.  BUT i will say- having a cute baby at a funeral/wake makes everyone a little happier- something about new life- during such a sad time- is so comforting.  I'd say- play it by ear- but don't be afraid to bring baby with you.  (ds was 9 mo. at the funeral)

Mrs.Bible

Hmm I am going to be in this same situation sooner than later.  As alot of you already know - my father was diagnosis with cancer of the brain and lungs...and he is entering the final stages.  Since I will have to drive over 2 hours for the services - me and DH will be bringing DD with us.  The only problem is we dont know anyone in this small town who we can leave DD with while we attend the services...especially since everyone we do know will be at the services.

So I really dont know what we are going to do but I guess we will cross that bridge (like so many others) when we get there.

This is definitely a concern I have among others in this delicate situation.

southernbelle82

kristinhart511:

BUT i will say- having a cute baby at a funeral/wake makes everyone a little happier- something about new life- during such a sad time- is so comforting. 

This!  I was so scared that people were going to be mad that I brought K b/c she was smiling and playing with folks, but you could just tell it helped to smile and interact with a little one.

Tess12

Yes, my daughter and her cousins were all at my dad and uncle's wakes and funerals.  People loved having them there.  It gave a different air to the gathering and my dad was so proud of all his grandchildren, I know he would have been really pleased to have them there.

 

skoorbnibor

We took E to my grandmothers viewing and funeral. He did fine...

Mrs.State746

My grandma just passed away last week, and her wake is next weekend.  MIL will be watching DS for us because I don't want to take him.  Even though it is only a "celebration of life" and won't be a funeral service I just don't feel comfortable bringing him. 

VTbride05

We took Henry to both when he was 9 months old. It was in a different state with no family so we didnt have a choice. Had I had a choice I would have gotten a sitter.