Who to invite where?

vhcoleman09

Friends of MIL are graciously throwing me and my SIL a joint shower in Michigan, which is where DH is from. My mother also wants to throw a shower for me in Georgia, where I'm from. My question is...if family (i.e., aunts, uncles, cousins) is mostly in the South, do I invite them to the shower in Atlanta and not the shower in Michigan? If that's the case, who would I invite to the shower in Michigan? I don't really know anyone there. When my bridal shower was thrown in both locations, family was invited to Michigan but no one came. They only came to the Atlanta shower. Where should I invite friends, many of whom are scattered across the West Coast and in Europe?

mrsmegs06

I think you need to invite for your side of the family to your Atlanta area shower. I think that if you are having a Michigan shower thrown my your MIL's friends then it will probably be your DH's family and friends. I had two separate showers due to sheer numbers. The only duplicate invite was my MIL at my family's shower. I don't think it's necessary to invite them to both.

For your friends I'd invite them to your family's shower.  I don't know if I'm assuming here but my friends mostly know my family and I'd rather them come to that shower. Instead of a shower hosted by DH's family.

vhcoleman09

Thanks for your reply. This is kind of what I was suspecting but I wanted to ask here to get some opinions, and you were right to assume that my friends mostly know my family.

mrsmegs06

No problem! I hope you have a great time at both your showers!

ocho2002

Ditto Mrs. Megs.  Nothing wrong with having more than one shower so long as the same people aren't invited to both.  Also, keep in mind that these are baby showers.  You really shouldn't invite people who have to travel a great distance.  If a friend invited me to a shower in Europe, I would think she lost her mind. If someone has to fly or drive more than 3-4 hours, I don't think they should get a shower invite.Chances are, theya re not going to come so it looks like your just asking for a gift. For close friends who live far away, I told them that I was having a shower but didn't invite them because I would never expect them to travel for a luncheon. trust me, none were offended.

DaniLovesPink

IMO, you should only invite people to a shower if they're within driving distance to the location.  So, if they're more than an hour from the location of the MI shower, you do not invite them.  If they are more than an hour from the GA shower location, you do not invite them.  Sending an invitation to someone who is not feasibly able to attend the shower is simply a solicitation of gifts, and that's tacky.

 

Anyone who is not in distance of a shower location (again, maximum of one hour), should receive nothing more than an announcement of your child's birth, no indication of a registry or expectation of gifts.

Nay#1

Overall I agree with MrsMegs suggestion. We just had a pretty sizable shower in NY (DH and I are both from there) and will be having another one with friends/ more local family here in Charlotte this weekend. That's in addition to a work shower or two. Given that, I definatley went through the same dilemma in terms of who to invite where. In some cases we just asked some people which shower they would prefer to attend and that helped as well.

However, I do not agree with the idea that if a person is far away they should not be invited. We happen to have close friends and family that are not conveniently located in one city, who really wanted to share this special time with us and made the effort to travel to our shower from various places...and we would do the same for them if able. That's just our circle of folks. In addition some people may know they cannot attend, but appeciate getting the registry/ shipping information because they want to send a gift, not because we are begging for one.

So go with Mrsmegs plan, and don't hesitate to invite your friends/ family that you want to share this occasion with regardless of their location. If given enough advance notice they may indeed show up...we got many not so local surprises that just brought tears to my eyes and I am not one for crying  Best of luck to you!

vhcoleman09

Nay#1:

Overall I agree with MrsMegs suggestion. We just had a pretty sizable shower in NY (DH and I are both from there) and will be having another one with friends/ more local family here in Charlotte this weekend. That's in addition to a work shower or two. Given that, I definatley went through the same dilemma in terms of who to invite where. In some cases we just asked some people which shower they would prefer to attend and that helped as well.

However, I do not agree with the idea that if a person is far away they should not be invited. We happen to have close friends and family that are not conveniently located in one city, who really wanted to share this special time with us and made the effort to travel to our shower from various places...and we would do the same for them if able. That's just our circle of folks. In addition some people may know they cannot attend, but appeciate getting the registry/ shipping information because they want to send a gift, not because we are begging for one.

So go with Mrsmegs plan, and don't hesitate to invite your friends/ family that you want to share this occasion with regardless of their location. If given enough advance notice they may indeed show up...we got many not so local surprises that just brought tears to my eyes and I am not one for crying  Best of luck to you!

Thanks for this. I have lived all over the country and have made friends in each location. The disadvantage to that is that the majority of my friends are far away from both MI and GA. My two very best friends are in the Netherlands. All of my friends travelled for my wedding last June, so I've really been going back and forth about whether to invite them to a baby shower. I would want an invite from them if the tables were turned, so I was leaning towards inviting them.