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Multiples
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
question about hospital stay
I'll probably be having a c-section on February 2nd, so I imagine I will be in the hospital for about 4 days.
Did your DH sleep in your room every night in the hospital? Our hospital has small reclining chairs that they already said MH (at 6'6") will not fit comfortably in. I am thinking he should go home every night (hospital is 45 minutes away) and just come back every morning.
Is this crazy? I honestly have no clue what to expect. If the babies do not need NICU time, will they be in the room with me the entire time or will they spend time in the nursery? Will I need MH's help in the middle of the night for feedings?
Sorry these are really dumb questions. I am clueless. 
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
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Re: question about hospital stay
***Twin fraternal girls born at 35w6d in 12/2008***
The hospital I delivered at was super busy that day and I had to share a room that first night - so DH went home. 2 of my girls were in the Special Care Nursery and 1 in the NICU. I told the nurses that I wasn't sharing a room again or I was going to walk out of the hopital (I had been told before my stay that you only have to share for 1 night - super long story but I only slept for a few hours that night - roommate from HELL) so DH had his own bed and did stay with me for the other 3 nights. We didn't get much sleep but he was a great help for me. After 2 days, Allie & Em were released to my room and I just put them in the nursery at night and had the nurses care for them - I really needed some sleep!
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Based on our experience:
My DH is tall, but not as tall as yours. He slept on a fold out chair/bed. It sucked, but he was so tired it didn't matter. I think a nurse brought us a "better" chair at one point because DH is tall.
I wanted my DH there all the time. I needed help getting to the bathroom in the middle of the night and didn't want to wait for a nurse every time. I also came down with a fever in the middle of the night and wanted him there to take care of me. The night nurses were good, but it's just not the same.
Our babies didn't need NICU time. We sent them to the nursery for part of each night. I had a fever and needed a blood transfusion, so I really needed a few hours of sleep without the babies each night. The nurse said they had about 18 babies in the nursery one night, so we weren't the only ones!
Everyone is different, but I really, really liked having DH there all the time.
Best of luck to you!!!
MH stayed with me, but we had a different experience. ?First, we had a fold out couch (more like a futon), so while he wasn't comfortable, it sure beats a recliner. ?Second, he slept on that thing every night but about 3 for 5 weeks when I was on hospital bedrest, so he was used to it. ?Also, we had one baby in NICU, and one not. ?Our baby in the well baby nursery stayed in the nursery every night but the last. ?That was our choice based on my condition - I had an IV and catheter the first two nights, and my BP refused to cooperate even after 24hrs on mag, so I was, once again, on modified bedrest and wasn't allowed to the NICU to visit our other baby more than 1x/day. ?I was physically and emotionally drained (long story, but we very nearly lost a baby at birth) and I just didn't feel like going it alone. ?So the very long answer is yes, my DH stayed with me.
Hopefully your story is nothing like that. ?I think even in the best conditions, without other kiddos at home I'd want him there.?
So it wouldn't make me a complete a-hole to send them to the nursery at night if I needed to get a bit of rest?
I think we'll have my husband stay at least the first night and then play it by ear. We are trying to figure out what to do with the dog at home, too, so maybe we'll have some family stay at our house while MH is at the hospital with me.
Thanks for the responses, ladies. Keep 'em coming!
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
When DS1 was born DH stayed at the hospital the entire time and was NO help in the middle of the night (not his fault, he didn't wake up and I didn't wake him). We decided that it would be best for him to go home when the twins were born so that DS1 could keep his schedule, and I didn't need him there anyway (see previous sentence).
DS1 was in the room with us the entire time. The twins weren't allowed to stay with me the first night since I had a c/s and wasn't able to get up yet, if DH had stayed the night they could've. Other than the first night, they stayed with me the entire time except the last night (they were a HUGE PITA the night before and I really needed a break that night).
I'd just play it by ear and see what feels right at the time. Don't feel guilty for sending them to the nursery. I felt terrible for sending them away that last night, but I wasn't enjoying being with them because they were ganging up on me and I was all by myself, I really just needed some time for me.
DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT SENDING THEM TO THE NURSERY AT NIGHT!! You will NEED sleep and those days in the hospital are your last chance before taking them home and not having the nursing staff to help. Just be specific about when you want them to wake you ... i.e to breastfeed, bottle feed, pump, take an ibuprofen etc.
Also, my husband stayed in the room with me, but we were only there 2 nights and they had a full twin cot they set up in our room for him.
?
OMG, no... in fact, the nurses kind of talked me into it, I also kinda felt bad just handing him over... but TRUST me, get your sleep when you can.?
I think for your hubby, you could send him home, because you don't NEED him there for anything but moral support really....the nurses will help you with the babies and you can proabably send them to the nursery overnight and just ask them to wake you to breastfeed (if thats what you want to do) but you might want to ask your hospital on the "rules" for the nursery.....at one hospital i gave birth at, they made the baby room in with me...i wanted to put her in the nursery but they didn't have one....( it was also a naval hospital though on a marine corps base) but i don't know what all hospitals have that type of policy....
i say send your hubby home at night...that way he can come back refreshed and hopefully bring you some great breakfast...especially if the hossy food is yuck!
MH stayed with me, but the other bed in the room was empty and the head nurse said he could sleep in it. They had a cot that he could have used, but with the 2 bassinets, and 2 beds in the room there wasn't really room for a 3rd bed. He said the bed sucked.
We only live 5 minutes from the hospital, and he could have gone home, but the rules at the hospital we stayed in said that if the babies were staying in the room - I had to have someone with me at all times in case of an emergency. I did schedule people to come and stay for a few hours in the day so DH could go home and shower, eat, get coffee etc.
I am glad that he was there because he had to hand the babies to me for feedings and he did ALL the diaper changes. (It took TOO long to wait for the nurse to come every time)
FWIW, We did send the boys to the nursery for like 5 hours on the last night. The nurse talked us into it - and it was totally worth it. Don't feel guilty
)
I would check with your OB about the hospital's policy on sending babies to the nursery. I have heard of some hospitals that don't allow that because they don't have a nursery for babies who aren't sick, and they don't have the nursing staff available to watch babies who aren't nursery patients.
For at least the first 24 hours or so after the C, I'd think you'd need some help to take care of the babies. You won't be able to get out of bed until your spinal wears off, you'll have an IV and a catheter, and due to pain killers and your abdominal incision, you won't be able to reach over to the bassinet to lift the babies to you.
Thanks, ladies. The hospital is a Women & Newborn only hospital and they do have a nursery where the well babies can go. They actually encourage it so that I can get my rest to speed up recovery. I just wasn't sure if taking them up on that would make me look like I didn't care about my babies, because that obviously isn't the case.
The rooms are either private or semi-private. The semi-private rooms are big and there's a big hallway and (shared) bathroom separating it from the other room. So, there will be no extra bed for MH in the same room, unforch. There's the recliner and at our hospital tour, the guide looked at MH and laughed and said, "There's no way you're getting any sleep on that chair!" Nice...
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
I definitely wanted my hubby there with me. Especially if these are your 1st babies with no other kids to make arrangements for... then I'd say make the most of it.
For me it was really difficult to get in and out of bed so my DH would grab the babies for me to breastfeed, etc. It's also nice to have the extra hands for when you go to the bathroom or want to shower, or just want to eat a meal. (It takes a while to use the restroom because of bleeding, changing pads, moving slowly...) Our hospital has a sign right in the bathroom that reads "Moms: Please do not leave your baby unattended..."
Plus when you have 2 babies crying and wanting to be fed or changed, it wouldn't be so overwhelming if you had the extra set of hands there. Our girls are a week old and I'm still getting used to juggling moments like that!
My husband stayed every night. Although I had already been in the hospital for 5 weeks on bedrest prior (and he slept at the hospital almost every night during those 5 weeks) so at the point he was used to it.
I can't answer your question about the babies rooming in, mine were in the NICU. Good luck.
I had my husband there each night, but sent him home during the day to shower/shave/rest. After having the c-section, picking things up was hard, and even with the bed raised all the way up, I still couldn't reach over into the bassinet-thingy to pick Sadie up on my own. I just needed someone to hand her to me.
I didn't send her to the nursery, because I was pumping for Jeffry also, and as soon as I'd finish feeding her and pumping, I would go to the NICU to feed him. The nurses just kept her at their station for 30-45 minutes while I was gone.
My hospital didn't have a nursery so the babies were in the room with us the entire time (all babies are either in the NICU or your room). DH stayed because I was physically unable to care for them myself -- I couldn't get out of bed for 24 hours due to the c/s and I couldn't exactly move fast or really lift anything either. I vote he should stay if at all possible.
DH stayed with me all 4 nights. the babies stayed in the nursery- so DH was really there just to help me out ... if i needed to get up in the middle of the night, if i needed something that was across the room so i didn't have to get up - and wait for a nurse, etc.
it's up to you. If your babies will not be in your room he doesn't NEED to be there- but if they will sleep in - then you'll want him there to help for sure. For feedings you'll want help (i would at least)... but we had the nurses feed them in the nursery at night so we could sleep --- which IMO is the best thing to do (if you are not nursing) because those are the last 4 nights of sleep you'll get for a long time!
don't feel bad about sending them to the nursery.
when I had DD, I was in labor overnight at the hospital, so my husband was with me and tried to sleep on a cot. (I had an epi and was trying to rest until it was time to push) He got no sleep. We decided that he would go home to sleep overnight while I was there, figuring it was better that one of us be well rested when we brought the baby home. It was the best decision. We didn't need to worry about the dog, he got real sleep, and I got decent stretches of sleep between breastfeeding sessions, when the nurses would bring my baby to me and then take her back to the nursery. My H left around 9 pm and came back around 6:30 in the am. We plan to do something similar this time.
My DH went home every night. I thought it was more important for him to work while I was in the hospital and be home with me after I got home. I personally didn't see any need for him to be uncomfortable.
My babies didn't need any NICU time (born at 37 weeks) - I had the nurses keep them in the nursery the 1st 2 nights and bring them in for feedings. I was nursing and supplementing so I had the nurses help me with feedings when I needed it. I kept the twins in the room with me the last night so I would know what to do when they cried at night at home. I had them in the nursery the other nights so I could rest up and heal faster from my C-Section... I figured I should take advantage of the help in the hospital while I had it. Plus, all of my nurses were awesome.
They aren't dumb questions at all! Do what works for you!
My DH (who's 6'5") stayed in the hospital with me the whole time. Lucy roomed in from the first night on; James from the second night on. We didn't send them to the nursery because, honestly, the hospital where I delivered were TERRIBLE about forcing formula on babies, esp. b/c mine were slightly preemie (35w6d). I really wanted to breastfeed, and I don't think I'd have been able to handle it without DH there.
He was pretty miserable and exhausted. The little "bench" where he slept was about a foot too short. He'd go home and nap every morning and my mom would come up.
Good luck!
I was in the hospital for 3 nights with my son (scheduled C/S)
My DH stayed the first night, but was miserable. He tried so hard to sleep on that fold out chair thing, but I could hear him toss and turn all night. He is just shy of 6 feet tall. Plus the A/C on the floor went out, and it was mid june
Honestly, I was so distracted by his discomfort that I barely slept myself!
The next night he spent at home, and I let the nursery take DS around midnight. I was finally able to get a solid 5 hours of sleep, and it helped A LOT! I was so tired I asked them to just give him formula in the nursery so I could rest.
My thoughts were that I had a ton of help at the hospital, so I was glad to have DH go home and rest. Once we were both home alone with DS, I'd need all the help I could get!