Is anyone else "stuck" in their starter home?

lizlemon77

Honestly, I am so stressed out about this and since we can't do anything about it I just need to vent.  This was never suppose to be our forever home.  We didn't want to raise our girls here.  But with the market as it is we really don't have an option to move.  I feel really trapped.  I almost wish we were still renting since at least then we would have the option of at least looking at other houses.  Selling this to buy something else isn't an option right now and that sucks.

Any suggestions on things I can do to love my house again?  I'm trying to make the best of it but I feel like we are bursting at the seams here.

hcmamm1

I am feeling the same way about my house. I want to sell so bad because things are starting to pile up that need to get fix. And since I know i dont want to be here forever, i dont want to put a ton more money into this house.

JOEBunny

Could you rent your house out?  We have DH's first house as a rental.  We sold mine because it was not a really good rental, but DH's is great. 

misses625

What kind of house do you have?  We have a 3 bedroom townhouse, and we just put it on the market.  However, a year ago I was going through what you are now feeling, so we did a few things to give us more room - finished the basement, added a kitchen pantry, added pull down stairs to the attic for storage, etc.  It might also help to get new curtains, some new rugs, new paint, etc.

chelle828

Same boat here.  I've been here 13 years.  DH for 5.  We just can't afford to buy something - we can't even afford to buy this place!!  (Yep, we rent).  We totally need more room, but I just keep trying to pare down and get rid of stuff.  That always helps.  Getting ready for adding another child is stressing me out big time though.

lizlemon77

JOEBunny:

Could you rent your house out?  We have DH's first house as a rental.  We sold mine because it was not a really good rental, but DH's is great. 

We live in a great neighborhood because of the school district that we are in, but our house is literally right across the street from a terrible school district.  We have other neighbors here who have rented and regretted it because they get people who don't take care of the home and only want to be here for the schools.

We also could not get two morgages so there would be way to much risk if we didn't have a renter and had to pay both morgages.

kittycarr

I'm gonna get sappy on you with the whole "everything happens for a reason" thing.  Because it does.  Everything happens for a reason.  If you were renting a house, what if you continuously made your rent payments but your landlord never paid the mortgage? 

You're not in a forever situation.  It'll suck until the market picks up but look at it this way - the kids will be old enough to lend a hand in moving and packing when you do find your forever home.

skippy2310

We just sold our starter house after it being on the market almost 1.5 years. I was totally feeling the same way as you, but now that we've moved I really miss the old house (I love my house now too though!).

We just did little projects around the old house to make it seem new again. We replaced the tile in the kitchen, painted rooms, reorganized toys and things, rearranged furniture, etc.

 

W&J'sMommy

We were stuck, we lived in MI and there was no way our house would sell.  We had planned on living there for 3 years, we were there for 6.  We were bursting at the seams.  MH was laid off, couldn't find another job, exhaused our savings and we were pretty much forced to move to IL when he was offered a job here. 

It's really been a mixed blessing.  I got my much bigger house (we are renting) and am so happy with it.  But our house in MI is up for shortsale, which is not the best situation.  I wish we'd never bought our house too, it would have saved us so much trouble.

skippy2310

Also, can you just put it on the market and see if something happens? I know it's a pain to keep it clean and everything, but I loved having a clean house all the time when ours was for sale. Maybe you guys will get lucky and it will sell.

 

Kapalua

sorta...we're putting our house on the market in the spring-but that's because we want to move out of state.  We're looking at the possibility of having to take a loss.

If we were staying-we wouldn't sell right now.

MrsStubbs

Go and buy some paint, it will make you feel alot better about one room atleast.

So Long Astoria

Same here. We have a tiny 3 bedroom, 1 bath ranch that we never meant to stay in for more than a year or so. We're going on 5 years and I could never imagine having another child here.

I hope to put the house up for sale this summer, but we'll see.

Chrisy-Wyobride

YES!!  This isn't actually our first home--our first I liked a lot more.  But we moved to Denver & when house hunting my DH cut our budget for the new house from $350K (what we sold our first house for) to like $250K.  I am still a bit pissed about it.  He was just being overly conservative but his conservativeness ended us up in a basically 1000SF 2bed house (plus full finished basement but still).  I NEVER planned on staying here more than 3 yrs & we are at 3.5yrs.  I also NEVER would have planned on having 3 kids here.  With 2 it was OK, but 3 is too many.  I was planning on going back to work this year & then upgrading houses & then having one or 2 more in a couple years.  DD#3 was quite a surprise since we had to try so hard for #2.  Now our DD is in private school & another one starts in the Fall which is $1K+ a month...and the economy is crappy so I couldn't get a job in my field if I tried & our house is so stuffed that showing it would be a joke.  I think it's still worth more than what we bought it for, but that's not good since we'd like to stay in the city.  My DH makes a lot more money now than what he made at our old house, yet we just can't get ahead...and though we could qualify for a much larger loan, we know we'd be fighting over money if it was tight.  So basically we are stuck & it really sucks.  We thought about renting it out but we put $110K down on this house & we need that for a downpayment on the kind of house we want to buy ($400K+).  

amiamish

Yes, and it's a money pit too. I've finally just got over it and accepted it. I know we will move eventually, just not yet. We're fixing it all up and the road is going to change too. In the end, our house value will go up and it'll be worth it.

The things I hate:

gravel driveway- I think we *may* pave it or something, but not 100% sure yet. Right now we cut through the neighbors yard and go play in their driveway/road when DS wants to go for a walk or ride his bike.

moldy bathroom-I can't get rid of it. So, we're tearing it all out and replacing it. Ugh. Huge undertaking, but so worth it.

mold growing on the basement wall- this just happened a couple weeks ago. This wknd we are pulling off the drywall, fixing the problem and re-dry walling it.

We already fixed the carpet, had it all replaced. We will be building a new deck either this summer or next. Our neighborhood is ok, not bad, but the kids can't play out front. (we're near a busy road.) A lot of the road/noise issues will clear up when they finish the new road-please hurry!

lizlemon77

thanks ladies.  I know this sounds bad but I'm glad to hear I'm not alone.  We've rearanged furniture and rooms so many times.  I've got DD #2's room taped and ready to paint but it's hard to do when DH is working 14 hour days right now.  I'm guessing that's a big part of why I feel so trapped.  I'm here with the girls all day and right now it's only me at night as well.

DandelionMom

It isn't our starter home (it is our second house) but we never meant to stay here long.  But we're in MI so this is probably it until the kids are in college and we're ready to downgrade.  I made a list of what I hate about this house and how I can change it.   

My project list includes:

-ditching 95% of our crap in storage and reorganizing the remaining 5%

-finding a better way to arrange the kitchen and hopefully getting rid of excess kitchen stuff

-adding a bathroom

-new kitchen counter

-finish finishing the basement playroom

-8 replacement windows

meags

We are in the same situation.  We bought it 6.5 years ago with a 5 year plan, and there's no move in sight.  I hate it, but I feel better knowing there's others in my same situation!  Misery loves company.  At least we're stuck in a starter home we can afford, instead of a huge house we can't (DH is currently laid off).  Plus, I'm trying to remember that home is home...my kids don't care that our location sucks or that it's tiny or that our clapboard needs replacing.

SumnerBride

Oh, I'm right there with you.  Even though this house was brand new when we bought it, I had no intentions of having kids in it.  Here I am, almost seven years later, still in it.

Wish I had some advice.  Maybe some new paint or new artwork on the walls?

LanaM

we're stuck. We were hoping to only be here for 2 years. The house is old..... we're comfy here for now, but the school district is crap. Ethan started pre-K here for now, but only because I am home full time and can take him there and back... otherwise he would've been in dc this year. I really don't want him to go to 1st grade there... I guess we'll have to see what's up. We have awesome neighbors... their kids go to the Catholic School... we're Jewish, not an option

I am tired of living in this house because we're not doing any major improvements really. I hate the old kitchen, but we don't want to put in a lot of money into it because we're hoping to move out eventually....  We did what we could to the house without spending too much money, but I want my place where I know we'll be staying for a looooong time...  

suzymarie

Raises hand!

Our problem isn't the square footage at all- it is the layout and general un-kid-friendlyness. 

If we moved it would be into a comparably sized house (or even smaller) but we would look long and ahrd and find the perfect layout for our needs.  We can't afford to do that (closing costs, moving costs, realtor fees) anytime soon due to lay-offs.

None of the cosmetic projects would do anything to make our house more livable- it is a layout problem and that is not fixable without tearing out the entire inside of the house, which of course would cost a fortune.

mamarazzi

We made some big improvements to our starter home.  We actually thought we were going to have to be there a lot longer and then the interest rates dropped dramatically from when we bought the house and the market here was really untouched by the economy (we sold our house in less than a week).  I was pretty sad to go -- we'd really made that house our own.  It was small, but aesthetically, it was just our style.  We replaced the floors with wood laminate, got all new carpet and remodeled the kitchen (put in a kickass backsplash, countertops we loved and a sink and faucet that I desperately miss).  We have a lot more space now, but it doesn't feel at all like "home."

I know you probably don't want to put much money into it, but do a few things that will make you love it more -- most likely, the little touches you do to make yourself fall in love with it all over again will make potential buyers fall in love with it later.

shouldbworkin

Can you add on?  If the schools and neighborhood are good, you could add on and be comfy at least.