I know something that I wish I didn't

joyfulnature

Hi, Friends.

I just called my RE's office for the first time since my m/c.  They did testing, but I never heard from them on the results.

I didn't want to know the gender of the baby, because I thought it would make it somehow even more painful and real. Well, I now know.

It wasn't the nurse's fault. She told me that there was nothing that indicated for sure there was a chromosomal abnormality, but that they couldn't be certain, either. I asked questions about this, and in her explanation (it was long so I'll spare you) I figured out that the baby was a girl.

I know this is irrational, but we only had a girls' name picked out for sure - we have for years, actually. And now I'm trying to keep from attaching that name to the little one I lost. Because I want Violet Grace to come into this world and stay.  Am I even making sense?

Anyway, I will be ok. 

I have a "talk" appointment on Tuesday to discuss IUI and what they want to do between now and then. There will be another hysteroscopy, for sure, because of the D&E.

Thanks for listening.

 

LizzyB11

That would be very painful to know. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with that knowlege on top of everything else.

momagain2009

I'm so sorry, that would be difficult information to receive.  I never found out the gender and am thankful for that.

{{{hugs}}}

ToshaGirl

Oh Joy, I am so sorry you had to hear that. ((((hugs))))

joyfulnature

Thank you everybody. Just telling you girls and my best friend really helps.

Coincidentally, I've got a girls night out planned tonight. So that will help!

sadie sadie

I wish I could offer more than just many many .

shyntrue

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

MrsKario

Oh honey, this is so hard. 
I dont think you are thinking irrationally - your post made perfect sense to me. 

Violet Rose is a beautiful name. 

MRSDNA

I'm so so sorry.  It sounds like girls night couldn't have come at a better time. 

itsmexine

I'm so sorry Joy. (((HUGS)))

But what I do see in your post is that you are considering IUI?  I thought I remembered that your DH didn't want to persue and IF treatments.  Does this mean that things have changed on that front? 

I wish you the best of luck with TTC.

LisaMarie95

I am sorry that you are going through more pain.  Hugs!

Strunella

I'm sorry, hon!  It does make it seem to make it hurt more, I'm sure.  But you are going to have your beautiful little Violet some day!   {{hugs}}

ougrad1

That stings.  I'm so sorry.  Take good care of you right now.

smb1974

I am so sorry...really big {{hugs}} to you!  I hope that you have a really good girls night out...you deserve it!

Jilliesmomma

I'm so sorry for your loss and that knowledge on top of it. I have a few friends who have named their m/c babies for closure.  Maybe you can name her after someone or pick another name or don't use a name at all, but just use Baby Girl.  I have always felt like my baby that I lost was a boy - but I have never named him. 

Good luck with your IUI and have fun tonight!

hollymichael

I am so sorry Joyful. Lots of <<Hugs>>

taratru

*hugs*  Sorry, joyful.

Vet-Tech

I'm sorry you found out information that you didn't want to know about.  I felt the same way when I had my D&E after our M/C.  I didn't know from the doctor what the sex was but I figured it out by looking at the copies of our records & the info on the chromosome testing.   Ours was a boy.  I never told my DH about it because I know he would have been very upset to know he'd lost a son.

QE2

I'm so sorry, Joyful. You're not irrational! This is all so emotional. I often wonder if my baby was a boy or girl, but a little piece of me is happy that I'll never be able to identify with it. I also never calculated my due date in fear that I would m/c and forever have that due date in my head.

Good luck at your appt, and wishing you the best!

DinaLINY

I have no words Joy.... just that I am so very sorry

MDBeachbride

Oh I am very sorry.  I have had two m/c.  The first one was my first pregnancy so we just chalked it up to "it happens."  The second after DS, I had the testing.  I too didn't necessarily say I wanted to know the sex but the chromosonal testing too indicated GIRL.  Mine was a XXX Chromosome, did you have something similar?  The worst part for me to comprehend was that according to my research, while this was an abnormality, women are born with this and tend to have little issues, but then I think about all the kids with Downs who don't make it to term dispite the ones born each day. 

Sorry about the loss, learning the sex and problems with the baby is insightful but that call is never easy. 

FrannyS

I am sorry you had to find this out and feel bad that it upsets you so.  I've actually been thinking of you because we have such similar feelings about IF and wondered how you are doing. Hang in there!