very sad

mrsfrank

So I found out at Thanksgiving that DH's cousin and his wife were expecting baby #1. She is 3 weeks ahead of me. They had their big u/s today and learned the baby is not viable.... They go back monday to make a decision what they are going to do..... SO SAD

emily0829

I hope that this in no way comes off insensitive or ignorant, but what are their options? Whether to let the baby naturally be miscarried or to do a D&C? 

I'm so sorry for their loss.  

GinEthansMom

Oh, no! That's terrible!  Did they have any previous indication that anything was wrong?  Was that their first U/S?  I'm so sorry!

smssy2005

That is very sad. :-( They are in my thoughts.

mrsfrank

It was their first U/S. They heard a heartbeat a few weeks ago so I don't think they had any idea. She hadn't felt baby move yet so its not like she didn't feel it move one day.

 They have to decide if they want to wait and see if she will naturally miscarry or if she wants to go in and get it taken care of. Not exactly sure if that means a D&C or if she would have to deliver. Baby appeared to be the size of  19-20 weeks so my guess is she would have to deliver. Not sure though. I didn't get much info as it was MIL who told me and she didn't know what the whole deal was

 

 

emily0829

mrsfrank:

It was their first U/S. They heard a heartbeat a few weeks ago so I don't think they had any idea. She hadn't felt baby move yet so its not like she didn't feel it move one day.

 They have to decide if they want to wait and see if she will naturally miscarry or if she wants to go in and get it taken care of. Not exactly sure if that means a D&C or if she would have to deliver. Baby appeared to be the size of  19-20 weeks so my guess is she would have to deliver. Not sure though. I didn't get much info as it was MIL who told me and she didn't know what the whole deal was

 

 

This scares me. I haven't felt LO move. I'm only 19w4d, but I haven't felt the flutters or any indication that he is in there other than the growing belly.

I pray that she finds the strength to get through this difficult time. No matter what option they choose, it will still be the hardest thing to go through.  

Carmela752

At 20 weeks you would typically be induced and deliver the baby.

I'm sorry she's going through this, it's terrible.

Lambie.

Carmela752:

At 20 weeks you would typically be induced and deliver the baby.

I'm sorry she's going through this, it's terrible.

This. And I am so sorry she has to go through this.

mrsfrank

Ok just to clarify, she has NOT lost the baby, yet. The baby is very very sick. MIL isn't sure exactly whats wrong. All we know is they go back monday (I think they had some testing done today) and will know more Monday

jessicaskyy

How sad.  Best wishes to your SIL.

tarebear9891

emily0829:

mrsfrank:

It was their first U/S. They heard a heartbeat a few weeks ago so I don't think they had any idea. She hadn't felt baby move yet so its not like she didn't feel it move one day.

 They have to decide if they want to wait and see if she will naturally miscarry or if she wants to go in and get it taken care of. Not exactly sure if that means a D&C or if she would have to deliver. Baby appeared to be the size of  19-20 weeks so my guess is she would have to deliver. Not sure though. I didn't get much info as it was MIL who told me and she didn't know what the whole deal was

 

 

This scares me. I haven't felt LO move. I'm only 19w4d, but I haven't felt the flutters or any indication that he is in there other than the growing belly.

I pray that she finds the strength to get through this difficult time. No matter what option they choose, it will still be the hardest thing to go through.  

Don't worry it is still normal not to feel anything. I think with my first I felt him just past 20 weeks and it was just flutters. 

And to the OP so sorry for that family. I can't even imagine their pain. 

ABColeslaw

Oh how awful!  Not that its ever an easy time to lose a baby, I lost one at 11 weeks...but 20 weeks is so sad!  My heart goes out to her and your whole family.