I just wanna be happy for her

crystalknpp

So my friend just text me and she gave birth to a healthy little girl this morning...I should be happy for her and I am. Im so glad that her and the baby are healthy and doing well but...The rest of me is angry, jealous, hurt, sad and wondering why that couldnt have been me. O and I'm also crying like crazy! Blah I feel like such a bad friend!

northshore25

I am in a very similiar situation to you. I know how awful you feel. A tiny part of you wishes that it was you instead of her and then the rest of you is angry at yourself for feeling this way. It is so conflicting. My BF e-mailed me yesterday after her 10 week appointment and told me that they had trouble finding a heartbeat but found after a few minutes. I was so crushed. I e-mailed back that I was happy she had a postive outcome. I couldn't even write anything more. I sat at my computer and cried and couldn't figure out what I did wrong. I am so sorry for you having to go through this. GL

crystalknpp

Thank you and I'm so sorry for your loss! It's tough because you want to be happy for them and part of you is but anoher part of you is wondering what she did right and what you did wrong. It really just sucks. I feel like a bad friend for feeling this way

Cissi64

You aren't a bad friend...you are a grieving mother!  We have all been there  or will be there at some point.  Give yourself a break.

SOC

I know EXACTLY how you feel. The morning of my last D&C, a good friend texted me that she just given birth to her daughter. So, here I am on the way to my doctor's office to have a D&C and I get that text. It was heartbreaking for me! I so wanted to be happy for her, but I felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach. At first I couldn't reply. The next day I told her Congrats. I didn't tell her what was going on with me. 

I felt like a horrible friend, and still do. I can't bring myself to go visit her. I know this sounds horrible, but I don't want to be around her new baby. I know that makes me sound like such a bad, awful person, and trust me, I hate myself for feeling that way. Maybe in a couple weeks, I'll feel better and ready to meet her new daughter. Right now, it's just too soon.

 

molisar

Don't feel bad about your feelings - I do think they are quite natural.  I would feel the same exact way.

armysis24

crystal, i am sorry you are feeling this way. i understand. i saw your FB post and wanted to say something to you, but i know FB wasnt the place and that you most likely posted here. is this a friend that knows about your loss? if so, i'm sure she might understand if you take a while to go visit them. hang in the girl. wish i could give ya a hug right now.

petrpn1313

I'm sorry you have to go through this right now.  My SIL is 6 months pregnant right now.  I haven't even really let the thought cross my mind until now what it will feel like when she has her baby in March.  You're not a bad friend at all and she despite her joy should be understanding that it may not be easy for you.

crystalknpp

Thank you ladies so much for the support. I made the mistake of talking to my mom about how Im feeling and she said "I know your sad and i cant say that I know exactly how you feel but giving birth is a happy thing and you need to stop being so negative" So needless to say she just made me feel worse! Its so nice to have you guys to talk to because you actually understand how I feel!

Shahlala

after i lost my son 2 years ago, a couple months later,  my friends sister who was 14 got  pregnant. then right after that my best friend got pregnant. I couldn't handle it and now we don't talk anymore. Well, me and her sister are starting to talk again a little bit. but My ex bestfriend is pregnant with number 2.... i have my son but it still  hurts. especially today.