S/o all this "relax" talk...

sydney0928

I get this. I really do. I realize that stress absolutely plays a part in our hormone balance.

But if you have an actual problem that needs to be addressed, such as a hormone imbalance, late O, irregular cycles... charting is the only thing that is going to help you understand your body and your cycles. Yes, you can just have sex every single day and hope you time it right. But wouldn't you rather know if you have a problem that can be fixed, rather than continue to be frustrated by no being KU?

Just my thought. It seems everyone's advice today is to relax, but I just don't think that's necessarily the most proactive thing you can do.

krate24

I'm trying to "relax" and do OPKs every day.  It's a balance for sure, but if I didn't do OPKs at least, then I could be late on CD31 or I might not have even Oed until CD 38.

str8ota

Agreed!

IRL friends learned a long time ago not to say that one to me, along with a few others!

babybeanm

I think it is so hard to do this too! It's not like I can "forget" what day of my cycle I am on after agonizing over it for months. Also, we.don't. have.sex. enough. I get anxious (ironically) thinking of just letting it happen bc I don't want to waste any more time.

tarynhd

No one has really told me to relax, until today.  One of my coworkers (and a very good friend, who is well aware of how long ttc has been going on for me) told me I was trying to hard.  Really?  I just started charting last month and love it.  For me, it has pointed out that I actually O a little later than I had been thinking.  So for the last 3 years, we just haven't bd'd long enough! (I'm sure there are other issues, too, but I think that's a big one) I would much rather know if I have a problem.  And if all of your pg's have been oops's and gone without a hitch, then you wouldn't really understand all of that...so stfu!

k1eine_maus

Can someone please tell me how to relax - believe me I have tried. I would love to no longer be obsessed with ttc, but I don't have an off button.

denise_m

While I do think about it a lot, I don't think I necessarily stress.  I think I would have more stress in not knowing what was going on with my body.

ColindaP

I'm going to do 4 headstands a day from now till I get my BFP, and then attribute it to that.

Court1

You're right Sydney, I don't think it's the right approach for everyone. 

I do think it's probably the right approach for me right now.  I've yet to have a problem getting pregnant, and we regularly have sex at least 3 times a week.  I need to breathe in and out & see what happens for now. 

Court1

ColindaP:

I'm going to do 4 headstands a day from now till I get my BFP, and then attribute it to that.

And this.  I'm going to do this too.

bebeblues

This is exactly why I gave in and started temping. I'm wondering if there's something else wrong and why our timing isn't working. I figure this is something to give proof to my ob that we've "really" been working hard to get ku.

I'm actually a bit more relaxed right now than I think I normally am. For one I did have a normal cycle last month, so I'm hopeful to see it again---but I think that w/temping and having you girls guide me through what's going on w/my body that I may actually be more at ease than not knowing......but that's just me. I hope that's how it works out.

KelleyBean

That is one of my pet peeves....when people say relax. I have PCOS and only ovulate 2-3x a year on my own. I can relax all I want but without medical intervention the odds of us getting pregnant and having a sticky baby are slim to none.

ColindaP

Court - I'm in your same shoes though. I can get KU easily. I think the WIDD posts are less helpful for us than for the girls having trouble conceiving... I need WIDD different to not have a mc posts.

Court1

ColindaP:

Court - I'm in your same shoes though. I can get KU easily. I think the WIDD posts are less helpful for us than for the girls having trouble conceiving... I need WIDD different to not have a mc posts.

threadless

I have this books called "Making Babies" that talks about relaxing and says something about how it's just not realistic and not to worry MORE when people tell you to relax!  It does have some relaxation tips, but stresses to NOT stress when people tell you to relax.  Which is what I always end up doing because I can be high strung...

Court1

ColindaP:

Court - I'm in your same shoes though. I can get KU easily. I think the WIDD posts are less helpful for us than for the girls having trouble conceiving... I need WIDD different to not have a mc posts.

You're right.  I think that hearing from ku women who are having successful pg's just makes me feel good.  There are SO many of you on this board with recurrent losses, that it's almost like I've just given in to the fact that it'll happen again. :sigh:

dondraandluis

ColindaP:

Court - I'm in your same shoes though. I can get KU easily. I think the WIDD posts are less helpful for us than for the girls having trouble conceiving... I need WIDD different to not have a mc posts.

This is me too. I can get pg just haven't been able to stay that way.

 

ColindaP

Court1:

ColindaP:

Court - I'm in your same shoes though. I can get KU easily. I think the WIDD posts are less helpful for us than for the girls having trouble conceiving... I need WIDD different to not have a mc posts.

You're right.  I think that hearing from ku women who are having successful pg's just makes me feel good.  There are SO many of you on this board with recurrent losses, that it's almost like I've just given in to the fact that it'll happen again. :sigh:

It can seem like that, but remember what this board is for. Of course our statistics are going to skew way off of what's normal. Everyone here, is here b/c they have had one or more losses.

sydney0928

I do think that trying to "time" BDing can have the opposite affect as what is intended- like you can miss O. This has happened to me since I started charting- b/c I was reading it wrong.

My OB was so happy to see my charts this morning. She said she would have had me start doing it anyway. This way I have more proof of what's happening and we can start treating whatever problem I have earlier.

priya&peter

i always hated when people told me to relax.  like the pp said, i'd love to relax. w ho wants to be stressed but hello? i l've been trying for over a year to get pg and when i finally do it ends in a m/c.  how in the f*ing world am i supposed to relax.  for whatever it is worth, i think i was just as stressed the month i got this bfp as i had been all the months i got bfn's.  i'm sure relaxing helps but you know what helped me?  having an RE take my husband's semen and shoot it up my vaj with a turkey baster - that's what.  at the end of the day, if you have a medical issue, relaxing alone is not going to undo it for you.

daphne814

bebeblues:

This is exactly why I gave in and started temping. I'm wondering if there's something else wrong and why our timing isn't working. I figure this is something to give proof to my ob that we've "really" been working hard to get ku.

I'm actually a bit more relaxed right now than I think I normally am. For one I did have a normal cycle last month, so I'm hopeful to see it again---but I think that w/temping and having you girls guide me through what's going on w/my body that I may actually be more at ease than not knowing......but that's just me. I hope that's how it works out.

I agree with this.  I charted last cycle, and I think it actually helped me relax a little bit.  I don't think you can ever truly relax while you are TTCAL, or even after you get PgAL for that matter, but I did notice that charting took away some of my stress because there wasn't as much confusion about what was going on with my cycle.  So, in a way, it helped me relax.

jgoetz:)

I hate that advice too. How the hell are we supposed to relax after going through a tragedy?  It's easy for someone to say who isn't in our situation but I find it very hard to relax when I want a baby more than anything and don't think I'll feel complete until I do.  sigh...  Sorry today was one of those angry days for me.