Vacation w/o the little ones

PeachyGal1

HI!  Although I do not post very often, I am on the Nest almost everyday getting great ideas and advice from other moms and ladies.  I am experiencing a lot of stress about taking a vacation and I am in need of a little advice. (Note:  I do realize how fortunate I am in this economy to be able to stress about taking a vacation.  My DH and I have been saving for three years for some type of vacation.)

DH and I have not had a vacation since my 2 1/2 year old was born.  We now have a 10 month old as well.  We both run small businesses.  We think we need a small break.  February appears to be a good time to try to take a vacation.  We live in Texas, so my DH has suggested a beach destination in Mexico (he is very much a sun and sand type)--not too far, not too expensive.  Here is my dilemma:  I am now terrified of flying.  My dad travelled for work, so I have flown all over the world (Europe, Australia, New Zealand, all over US). However,  snce I having children, I am beyond terrified of getting on a plane.  I have taken a wonderful class aimed to eliviate this fear and got on a plane to see my sister in VA 2 years ago, but I need to retake the class.  Secondly, I have only been away from my oldest son for one night on two different occassions (yes, this is probably crazy and before kids I used to scoff at people who would not leave their children to take a night off).  I am having a hard time dealing with leaving the country for six days when I have never even been away from the baby for one night.  I have thought about suggesting that DH and I take a road trip through the Texas Hill Country for wine tastings and good restuarants, etc.  I am just afraid that it won't feel like a "vacation" (his two best friends just returned from trips with thier wives to Hawaii and the other went to London/Paris and I can't help but feel like a failure because I do not feel ready for that type of trip).

What do you think?  Deal with the terror of flying (I think this would make DH happiest)?  Suggest a smaller trip? What kind of vacations have you taken without the kids?

KellyMichelle

I love Hill Country.  It is a nice, relaxing vacation.  I would go for something like that.  It is better to have a smaller vacation that you will enjoy rather than a big vacation that you are going to have to spend all your time worrying.

We haven't taken a big vacation without DS.  I don't like to travel much and don't really want to go somewhere really far without him.  We have gone to Hill Country several times without him.  

Marce921

Can you do a smaller trip, like go away for the weekend or a long weekend? Or have the kids go stay overnight or the weekend with the grandparents first?

Would the kids stay with their grandparents? If this is the case, I'd definitely go. The kids will have a blast with grandma and grandpa and you will get some much needed rest and relaxation. GL!

beanzer

Every other year we take a long vacation (5-6 days) without the kids and then the other years we take one with the kids. ?We also try and get away for a night or two here and there.

Even though it may be hard for you, I say as long as you are comfortable with whom is watching your kids, go away to Mexico and enjoy yourself. ?It sounds like you and your husband deserve it. ?Take the class if that helped you previously. ?If you are not comfortable, then a trip through the Hill Country would be fabulous...we have done that each of the last two years.

Good luck!

Rebekah1021

I suggest you see a Dr. about your anxiety about flying. Xanax really helps me when I go on vacation.

Mexico sounds like a fun getaway. DH had a business trip in NYC earlier this year and I tagged along. It was nice that I had the days to myself and the evenings with him.

cokt

We just took our first trip without our DS. I had only left him a few times just overnight, and that has only been since this summer. I was really nervous to leave him too, but as soon as I left on vacation I was not nervous at all. We had a great time and really enjoyed being together just the two of us. As far as your anxiety about flying, it sounds pretty serious and something I would defintiely see someone for. Hopefully your H will understand if you don't want to go out of the country your first time away from the kids. A smaller trip to start with might be easier for you. Good luck!

Vrbka

you  need to go to mexico and get away.. we go on a trip every year without the kids.. we went to Mexico for 6 days when C was only 6 months old and we go on little get aways occasionally and the kids stay at the grandparents for a couple of nnights.. we are actually going to hawaii in Feb. for a while week.. it is good for you and your kids to get away..

I agree with PP go to the dr for some meds and take that class.. but i do hear you on traveling now that you have kids.. it is scary.. I don't even like myu kids in another vechile with someone else.. so that is really hard on me.. GL

chrismbel

DH & I have vacationed several times without our children.  The first time DH had to literally shove me down the airplane terminal...I was like "I changed my mind, I don't want to go!!" and I cried almost the whole flight to Mexico (from Boston!!!!) looking at pics on my ipod and torturing myself.  But once we were there, it was almost like "out of sight out of mind".  I just kept reminding myself that we needed a vacation, that we deserved a vacation, it was only 1 week and the kids were in good hands.  I convinced myself that a week of bonding with grandma & grandpa was just as important for my children as it was for me & DH to be alone for a week.  And they had FUN...a week with grandma & grandpa was a treat for them.  And you have to tell yourself that if you're miserable, or if the kids are miserable without you, you can always go home.  If it doesn't work out, oh well, you tried and you can go home.  But trust me, after a little break from your kids and some alone time with DH, you'll come back a better mom for it.

michaeltrish

Every year since dh and I have been married, we take a week long trip to Mexico for our wedding anniversary in October.  When ds was born, we decided to stick with our annual ritual.  Since we're in AZ, like Texas, we feel close enough to home that if something happened, we could be on a quick 2-3 hour flight back if need be.  This allowed me to have some peace of mind, plus, my own parents were at our home with our child.  Dh and I feel that it's very important to our relationship to have some quality time together, alone, and this is the answer for us right now.

My father just recently flew across the states for the very first time.  His other trips he did were by car, which took over 4 days.  He went to a hypnotist twice for his fear of flying and it obviously was successful.  Maybe if the class doesn't relieve your anxiety, hypnosis will.  I hope you choose to take this trip, it will be well worth it.  Good luck!!

dale05

We are taking a vacation to the Dominican in February and leaving our 15 month old behind.  I haven't left her overnight before either and I'm a bit worried about it but not on her account.  She is staying with my Mom and then my sister (my sister is my daycare provider so DD is with her 5 days a week from 9 to 5).  I had to realize that she will have a blast and barely miss her Mom and Dad and that it is us that will miss her. 

I don't know what to tell you about your fear of flying though.  Only you know what you can handle.  Would you be interested in a cruise?  I imagine some leave near enough to you that you could drive to the port?

Mrs Manners

We've gone on an international vacation without ds and have another one planned in March. My ds stayed with my parents and I knew he was in great hands so I didn't worry about him.

I do have friends who would only fly on separate flights (the husband and wife) so that if the plane went down they knew the kids would still have one parent. Would doing something like that help alleviate your fears some?

Also, do you have your will and guardians in order? Doing that really helped me feel at easy because I was able to spell out exaclty what should happen with ds. I was surprised at the relief I felt once I got it written out on paper.