s/o help post

court1703

After reading how everyone is going to have so much help I am starting to stress.

But DH and I really don't have any one.  DH doesn't know his dad and his mom died when he was little.  My mom...to put it nicely is not the sharpest tool in the shed.  And my dad lives an hour away.  I guess he could help.  But I really doubt that will happen.

I'm just starting to freak out that I won't be able to handle it all on my own.

aborgra

I feel the same way!  My DH and I moved to our town about 6 months ago and our closest family is over 2 hours away.  We don't really know anyone in town well enough to trust them with our LO.  It's kind of a scary thought!

jilicious

You have each other and that is enough! You can definitely do this on your own! Don't sell yourself short, hot mama, you will hit your stride and sure, life will be crazy (life is always crazy, especially with kids), but it will be the best crazy you ever experienced.

balibaby

If it makes you feel any better, I am not going to have any help either, unless I hire some:) All of my family lives quite far away (plane rides) and my in-laws live an hour away, but never come to our house. They have never babysat dd and she is over 2 years old. My MIL doesn't drive on the freeways (we live in LA) and my FIL never wants to come over. Anyway, even when they do, they are the type that sit around waiting for you to serve them meals, and yes even when we literaly had just had dd, it was like this. Also, my DH will be in a huge court trial so he will not be around at all, he is getting no paternity leave this time. Yikes, I am seriously considering a "baby nurse" type person this time, with two kids, I think I might be overestimating myself to think I can do it all by myself.

skiwic8

Of course you will be able to handle it.  You and DH just need to figure things out together.  We are not going to have help.  Our families are local but very self involved and would never even offer to help.  And honestly, I think it would stress me out more having people in my house "doing" things than no.  And personally I think those first couple weeks are so important for you and DH and LO to bond and get used to your new life.  As for getting things done just do what you can.  So what if the dishes stack up or you eat pizza everynight.  You will get into your routine! And a tip someone gave me if food is a concern for you just premake a bunch of casseroles, lasagna, etc and freeze them. 

Mrs Merlot

You can manage without help.  I did with my first.  DD's dad took 3 weeks off work to 'help' and ended up doing nothing but playing computer games.  So ontop of taking care of myself and baby, I had to clean up after him too.

You'll find a routine.  Time for you, time for baby and even time to manage the house.  Just don't try and take on too much.

I'd suggest talking to some mom's on the 0-3 month board and ask how they cope.  I imagine you'll get alot of responses regarding their babies routines.

wildfloweragain

It is hard without help, but you made this choice.  When I remind myself that it was my choice it gives me some control and I feel better.  Or when DH is never here, I think to myself I would have decided to raise a baby on my own if I never married and it would have been my myself anyway.

court1703

Thanks ladies!  This was always a concern of DHs when we talked about kids.  But I was always confident we could do it by ourselves.  It must have been the hormones after reading how much help everyone else was going to have it just kinda scared me for a min.