Best way to tell work

VampyAuthor

In your opinions what's the best way work could be told I won't be returning after LO is here? My rude manager (the one who sent that rude email to my home address about not throwing the baby shower) keeps asking if I'm coming back or not. I keep telling her at this point it's up in the air. As much as I'd like to laugh in this girl's face and tell her to find someone else to do my job, that's the most proper way of doing this. Either way they're going to flip. She already had a cow when I told her I wasn't working until my water broke.

Shandie_725

I'd tell them ASAP so that they can start looking for someone to replace you, and have them trained before you leave.

megdrew1218

I'd just flat out say it. But I don't know about when (how many weeks) I'd do it? Probably at least a couple months before so they can hire and train. But then again, you don't really like them...

VampyAuthor

megdrew1218:

I'd just flat out say it. But I don't know about when (how many weeks) I'd do it? Probably at least a couple months before so they can hire and train. But then again, you don't really like them...

lol, I like the way you're thinking. I do not in any way like my management team. I do like the NCOIC. I'm an Air Force civilian and the NCOIC is the military guy in charge. He's great, very understanding. We have these rock hard chairs at our desks. He rushed out to get me a soft cushion to sit on. (Can you tell he's a dad?) But, this lady...she sends me this email at home saying they won't be throwing me a baby shower, but the other pregnant lady is getting. Makes me want to cash my month's maternity leave and 2 weeks before I'm supposed to be back say "see ya!"

MrsBalletStar05

Wait, when are you planning on going on maternity leave...? 

 

With her weirdness (I remember that post) I would worry about her trying to fire you ahead of time or something.  I'd probably not say anything until late.  

MrsEmm

I would wait. I planned on not coming back after my last baby and told them that. Then when my leave was up we decided it was best that I go back. I got my job back and it all worked out. I think youre being smart by saying its all up in the air - because it IS. Its hard to know & legally youre most likely within your rights. With this economy you dont want to be hasty with your job.

VampyAuthor

MrsBalletStar05:

Wait, when are you planning on going on maternity leave...? 

 

With her weirdness (I remember that post) I would worry about her trying to fire you ahead of time or something.  I'd probably not say anything until late.  

I have a month's paid maternity leave. Which is basically 4 - 40 hour work weeks. I was thinking that last week in March, since she's measuring a few weeks ahead. Never know she could be a March baby. Good news with her trying to fire me, that's a no no...she could lose her job in turn. I'm not too worried about that. Just worried about her throwing a huge fit. Which I've seen her do...what a nutter she is.

VampyAuthor

MrsEmm:

I would wait. I planned on not coming back after my last baby and told them that. Then when my leave was up we decided it was best that I go back. I got my job back and it all worked out. I think youre being smart by saying its all up in the air - because it IS. Its hard to know & legally youre most likely within your rights. With this economy you dont want to be hasty with your job.

The good thing with it is, I am guaranteed my job since I'm employeed through the government. If we transfer, my job goes with me. I just hate having her in my face each day asking me the same thing. My answered hasn't changed yet and it won't. She's one of those annoying, pushy types. It makes for one strange work enviornment.

newlywed26

Ugh.......not sure about the rules in your state, but it's extremely unethical and against policy to question your plans postpartum in my state.  She has no right to ask you if you're returning or not.  Our rules, which I believe are state, state that we have to call our job no more than 24 hours after the baby is born to finalize our plans.  Wow your boss sounds like a real a$$!

MrsBalletStar05

well, I know you can't fire a pregnant lady for being pregnant - worried she might FIND some other reason though.

 

Personally, I told work I was pregnant ASAP because our company isn't doing the best and I hoped that they'd feel bad for me and not fire me, lol.  They haven't fired anyone, but I worried about it, lol. 

 

Hope it goes well though!!! 

VampyAuthor

newlywed26:

Ugh.......not sure about the rules in your state, but it's extremely unethical and against policy to question your plans postpartum in my state.  She has no right to ask you if you're returning or not.  Our rules, which I believe are state, state that we have to call our job no more than 24 hours after the baby is born to finalize our plans.  Wow your boss sounds like a real a$$!

You have no idea how much of an a$$ she is. This woman honest to goodness sent me an email at home saying that they wouldn't be throwing me a baby shower but the the other girl who is pregnant will be getting one in January. Um...hello...who is rude enough to do that?

VampyAuthor

MrsBalletStar05:

well, I know you can't fire a pregnant lady for being pregnant - worried she might FIND some other reason though.

 

Personally, I told work I was pregnant ASAP because our company isn't doing the best and I hoped that they'd feel bad for me and not fire me, lol.  They haven't fired anyone, but I worried about it, lol. 

 

Hope it goes well though!!! 

I do work very hard at my job to make sure everything is taken care of. Which I think is one more reason to relax me. I understand the worry though. I shouldn't put anything past this woman. I told them I was pregnant at 12w. It just feels like ever since she's been asking if I'm coming back to work.

Thanks so much I'll keep everyone posted on how everything goes.

SoldiersGreenBean

MrsJazzAirForceWife:

MrsEmm:

I would wait. I planned on not coming back after my last baby and told them that. Then when my leave was up we decided it was best that I go back. I got my job back and it all worked out. I think youre being smart by saying its all up in the air - because it IS. Its hard to know & legally youre most likely within your rights. With this economy you dont want to be hasty with your job.

The good thing with it is, I am guaranteed my job since I'm employeed through the government. If we transfer, my job goes with me. I just hate having her in my face each day asking me the same thing. My answered hasn't changed yet and it won't. She's one of those annoying, pushy types. It makes for one strange work enviornment.

I'm confused. 

You're not guaranteed your job if you quit, then decide to come back.  You're covered under FMLA, assuming you've worked there for over a year, but you're not guaranteed anything past that.  Check with the Office of Personnel Mgmt, or your civilian HR (in the Army, it's CPAC/CPOC), to make sure you're understanding the repercussions.

missdanib

Are you getting STD in addition to your maternity?  Do you have to be employed to collect maternity benes?  If yes to either of these questions, I would tell her "Yes, I will be coming back" then when your benes are up call in and say that you aren't coming back.  May not be the most ethical thing to do, but if you have worked towards those benes and do not want her taking you off of payroll and essentially ending them before you receive them.

skiwic8

MrsBalletStar05:

Wait, when are you planning on going on maternity leave...? 

 

With her weirdness (I remember that post) I would worry about her trying to fire you ahead of time or something.  I'd probably not say anything until late.  

This.  I would either tell them right before you go out or even once you have been out for awhile. I know in a way it's disrespectful but you need to protect yourself as well.  You don't want them to have a reason to fire you or lay you off. 

SoldiersGreenBean

missdanib:

Are you getting STD in addition to your maternity?  Do you have to be employed to collect maternity benes?  If yes to either of these questions, I would tell her "Yes, I will be coming back" then when your benes are up call in and say that you aren't coming back.  May not be the most ethical thing to do, but if you have worked towards those benes and do not want her taking you off of payroll and essentially ending them before you receive them.

Federal employees don't have STD.

You're right, it's not very ethical.  It gives working moms a bad reputation, and that doesn't help anyone.

VampyAuthor

We're speaking in terms of me saying it's in their air. And, the insane lady trying to find reasons to fire me and such. Or if I just take my meternity leave and come back I am guaranteed. If I leave, I leave, simple as that. I wouldn't work anymore unless I ended up too bored at home.

SoldiersGreenBean

MrsJazzAirForceWife:

We're speaking in terms of me saying it's in their air. And, the insane lady trying to find reasons to fire me and such. Or if I just take my meternity leave and come back I am guaranteed. If I leave, I leave, simple as that. I wouldn't work anymore unless I ended up too bored at home.

I missed the OPs where you described her BSC-ness, although I don't doubt that it exists.

IMHO, I would tell her your plans about a month before you're due.  In the meantime, document everything.  If she fires you in the meantime, I would imagine you have a pretty strong legal leg to base it on discrimination.

Although really, how common is firing in the AF?  In the Army, it's pretty much unheard of.  People may get shuffled around, but they don't get fired.

mysticporter

Our of curiosity, how do you have paid maternity leave as a Federal civilian?

SoldiersGreenBean

mysticporter:

Our of curiosity, how do you have paid maternity leave as a Federal civilian?

You take your sick & annual leave.

VampyAuthor

SoldiersGreenBean:

MrsJazzAirForceWife:

We're speaking in terms of me saying it's in their air. And, the insane lady trying to find reasons to fire me and such. Or if I just take my meternity leave and come back I am guaranteed. If I leave, I leave, simple as that. I wouldn't work anymore unless I ended up too bored at home.

I missed the OPs where you described her BSC-ness, although I don't doubt that it exists.

IMHO, I would tell her your plans about a month before you're due.  In the meantime, document everything.  If she fires you in the meantime, I would imagine you have a pretty strong legal leg to base it on discrimination.

Although really, how common is firing in the AF?  In the Army, it's pretty much unheard of.  People may get shuffled around, but they don't get fired.

I've never heard of anyone getting fired. Though my boss would be prime example of someone who should be. I do my own job plus some of hers. My body and mind would probably feel a whole lot betterr not returning. But, I've never been stay at home before so maybe I'll decide otherwise.

VampyAuthor

SoldiersGreenBean:

mysticporter:

Our of curiosity, how do you have paid maternity leave as a Federal civilian?

You take your sick & annual leave.

This. And just like any other job you have to work so much to ean so many days of leave

mysticporter

MrsJazzAirForceWife:

SoldiersGreenBean:

mysticporter:

Our of curiosity, how do you have paid maternity leave as a Federal civilian?

You take your sick & annual leave.

This. And just like any other job you have to work so much to ean so many days of leave

Oh, I'm all too familiar with how it works!  I was confused because you said something about taking your month's maternity leave, I thought you meant paid maternity benefits.

SoldiersGreenBean

mysticporter:

MrsJazzAirForceWife:

SoldiersGreenBean:

mysticporter:

Our of curiosity, how do you have paid maternity leave as a Federal civilian?

You take your sick & annual leave.

This. And just like any other job you have to work so much to ean so many days of leave

Oh, I'm all too familiar with how it works!  I was confused because you said something about taking your month's maternity leave, I thought you meant paid maternity benefits.

I assume she means that she has enough sick & annual leave to cover 4 weeks of paid time off.  Anything above and beyond that you either have to apply for the leave donation program or take leave without pay.

VampyAuthor

SoldiersGreenBean:

mysticporter:

MrsJazzAirForceWife:

SoldiersGreenBean:

mysticporter:

Our of curiosity, how do you have paid maternity leave as a Federal civilian?

You take your sick & annual leave.

This. And just like any other job you have to work so much to ean so many days of leave

Oh, I'm all too familiar with how it works!  I was confused because you said something about taking your month's maternity leave, I thought you meant paid maternity benefits.

I assume she means that she has enough sick & annual leave to cover 4 weeks of paid time off.  Anything above and beyond that you either have to apply for the leave donation program or take leave without pay.

Oo sorry forgot to post here once I got in my chili cheese fries craze. Yes, I have enough to cover 4 weeks paid time off. If I go above and beyond that it would just be off without pay.Course to get it built up that much any little days off here and there have been without pay.

taureanbuddhist

MrsJazzAirForceWife:

MrsEmm:

I would wait. I planned on not coming back after my last baby and told them that. Then when my leave was up we decided it was best that I go back. I got my job back and it all worked out. I think youre being smart by saying its all up in the air - because it IS. Its hard to know & legally youre most likely within your rights. With this economy you dont want to be hasty with your job.

The good thing with it is, I am guaranteed my job since I'm employeed through the government. If we transfer, my job goes with me. I just hate having her in my face each day asking me the same thing. My answered hasn't changed yet and it won't. She's one of those annoying, pushy types. It makes for one strange work enviornment.

well i agree that it is good that you are being cautious...isnt this is something that you have to work out with HR, not the people you work with? who is covering you while you are out?

georgia_peachy

SoldiersGreenBean:

missdanib:

Are you getting STD in addition to your maternity?  Do you have to be employed to collect maternity benes?  If yes to either of these questions, I would tell her "Yes, I will be coming back" then when your benes are up call in and say that you aren't coming back.  May not be the most ethical thing to do, but if you have worked towards those benes and do not want her taking you off of payroll and essentially ending them before you receive them.

Federal employees don't have STD.

You're right, it's not very ethical.  It gives working moms a bad reputation, and that doesn't help anyone.

If you're going to not come back don't take your paid maternity leave then then tell them you aren't coming back.  As quoted poster states that hurts everyone.  It's tricks like this that cause employers to put the chokehold on maternity benefits.  I have to work 2 hours for every paid hour of maternity I take after I return or pay back the difference.  Which really sort of sucks because my husband might get transferred to another state before I can work all that time (essentially 6 months if I take the entire benefit) So despite me legitimately using the benefit, because people in the past have bounced out I might have to pay back all the leave I use.

georgia_peachy

mysticporter:

Our of curiosity, how do you have paid maternity leave as a Federal civilian?

My agency offers it.  12 weeks paid for use either prenatal care and/or post partum.  We are an elected office and my  boss can delegate the salary allotments as he sees fit, but it is out there.