Vent: business of being born

mrsfrank

Ok, so I rented it on netflix and watched in on my laptop. Good documentary for sure, very biased, but good. There was a man towards the end that said a mother doesn't bond with her baby when she is given drugs and not having a nutrual vaginal delivery, breastfeeding is hindered ect. This set me on fire. I tried a vaginal birth but after 22 hours DS was not moving past my pelvis. I never made it past 7cm. So I had a c section. Althought it wasn't "ideal", it was what was best for me and DS.... that said I DO NOT feel AT ALL like it hindered the bonding process or breastfeeding. I nursed in recovery within 30 min of him being born. As soon as I was stitched up and moved back onto my bed I had my son in my arms before I even left the OR and he remained with me, in my arms the entire time in the hospital. I don't feel cheated at all. So Ladies, DO NOT let a c section scare you!

cswatch

Well said.  This is my 1st pg but I'm not worried either way about vaginal vs. c section....  either way at the end of the process you're still a new mom and how you got from point a to point b doesn't change that fact!

Dreamsicle23

A man.  Awesome.  Did he deliver his children vaginally?

Ana35

Dreamsicle23:

A man.  Awesome.  Did he deliver his children vaginally?

 

CarolinaKatie

Dreamsicle23:

A man.  Awesome.  Did he deliver his children vaginally?

Ha! Love it! I have not seen this, but that would have set me on fire too! My son's heart rate was dropping with every contraction, so much so that it required a c/section at only 3 cm. Because I had to go to recovery, I did not attempt breastfeeding till about 4 hours after he was born. And guess what. He was a champ! He did not require any formula supplement. He and I both did very well. At his 2 week check up, our doctor said he had the biggest percentage gain of all babies she's ever seen! Most of the time they just want them back up to birth weight by 10 days. At 14 days, he was a pound over! Obviously, breastfeeding worked just fine! And the c/section did not hurt bonding at all. I never knew the kind of love I could have for another human until I laid my eyes on him!

babycrane

Dreamsicle23:

A man.  Awesome.  Did he deliver his children vaginally?

AbJams

My mother was unconscious when I was delivered via emergency csection, and she had no trouble breastfeeding OR bonding with me.

Sept17.05Bride

Dreamsicle23:

A man.  Awesome.  Did he deliver his children vaginally?

   I haven't seen that documentary, but it would have made me mad too.  I was in labor with DS for over 10 hours, only got to 4cm, and needed an emergency c-section because DS heart rate started to drop dramatically and my blood pressure was super high (I had pre-e).  I got to hold DS within 30 min of him being born, and was also able to breastfeed right away.  I was still able to bond with my son even if I didn't have a drug-free, vaginal birth!

FutureMrsLemon

I did see the documentary and thought it was amazing. I feel like what he was trying to say was that during the labor process that your body produces hormones that promote and help with bonding between infant and mother. And that when a c-section is done the drugs and the procedure can interfere with the production of those hormones thus hindering the bonding process. He isnt saying that anyone who ever has a c-section can never bond with their child. But that the method of c-sectioning a patient CAN interfere with this process. That the mother may feel more detached from her child than she would with a vaginal delivery since the body isnt following the natural labor process which ends with the production of this specific hormone. I wouldnt take it personally, he is just stating something he believes (and may be supported by research I dont know). But I wouldnt let it upset you.

LilStarwish

Watched it a couple weeks ago....definitely had an agenda....but I've heard from a lot of women who've had horrible experiences in a hospital, and then did a home delivery which they liked much more....I think as long as you tell your Dr. what your expectations are, it will help....or so I've heard...I guess I will see...

shaena1407

FutureMrsLemon:

I did see the documentary and thought it was amazing. I feel like what he was trying to say was that during the labor process that your body produces hormones that promote and help with bonding between infant and mother. And that when a c-section is done the drugs and the procedure can interfere with the production of those hormones thus hindering the bonding process. He isnt saying that anyone who ever has a c-section can never bond with their child. But that the method of c-sectioning a patient CAN interfere with this process. That the mother may feel more detached from her child than she would with a vaginal delivery since the body isnt following the natural labor process which ends with the production of this specific hormone. I wouldnt take it personally, he is just stating something he believes (and may be supported by research I dont know). But I wouldnt let it upset you.

 This.  I don't think he was trying to say that mothers who have c-sections never bond with their child. I think he was just trying to explain the scientific side of what a woman's body goes through when delivering vaginally.

MrsHollyMetesh

I've heard the whole drug-free-is-the-way-to-be thing, and personally felt like people were judging me for insisting on drugs (no one on theBump, just people from work and around me). I agree with all the comments about being able to bond with your baby just FINE after surgery. The option is either have the baby any way you can (especially when an emergency C-section is NEEDED), or what? Don't have the baby?

I hate agendas.

nooniesgal

I liked the video.  I didn't love it though. It was a tad bit overboard for me.  We are going natural this time (1st was induced... vaginal with epi) and one of the reasons why is that I had an absolutely horrible time breastfeeding.  (took 8 weeks and 4 different LC's)  I don't blame the drugs as much as the procedure done at the hospitals by the nurses.  She was bottle fed by a nurse the first hour of her life with 20ml of formula before nursing...so it all started to go down hill.    

We are going natural this time and I hope like heck it will help the breastfeeding issue.  That is crap about the bonding though.  I can't imagine a better bond, but I guess I will see! 

nooniesgal

I also agree with the pp that I think the Dr was saying that drugs and c-sections naturally take away the "runner's high" or whatever the technical term it is that you get when you give birth naturally without drugs.  It isn't about being better than another women who had drugs...it is simply a scientific reaction your body has when you give birth naturally med free.   My childbirth class explained this in detail the first time around (while I was happily signing up for my epi .   My bff had her first with an epi and her last 3 kids naturally.  She said she had a quicker, stronger connection and experienced an overwhelming high off the later births.  I think it is cool that a woman's body is better than medicine...we rock.    However, I don't think that this rush of endorphines is necessary to bond with a baby (simply a really awesome perk.)

alabaster_angel

shaena1407:

FutureMrsLemon:

I did see the documentary and thought it was amazing. I feel like what he was trying to say was that during the labor process that your body produces hormones that promote and help with bonding between infant and mother. And that when a c-section is done the drugs and the procedure can interfere with the production of those hormones thus hindering the bonding process. He isnt saying that anyone who ever has a c-section can never bond with their child. But that the method of c-sectioning a patient CAN interfere with this process. That the mother may feel more detached from her child than she would with a vaginal delivery since the body isnt following the natural labor process which ends with the production of this specific hormone. I wouldnt take it personally, he is just stating something he believes (and may be supported by research I dont know). But I wouldnt let it upset you.

 This.  I don't think he was trying to say that mothers who have c-sections never bond with their child. I think he was just trying to explain the scientific side of what a woman's body goes through when delivering vaginally.

I agree here.

I had a friend who had to have an emergency c-section last week after having planned a home birth. Luckily she was able to breast feed and bond with no problem, but she definitely feels a little cheated that she can't even remember the first time she saw her son.

BrainySmurfette

I think I'll skip that film, then.  I not only got the c/s, but I was separated from DD for 3 days after the birth.  However,  we would both be dead w/out the lovely c/s, so I'm of the opinion that it helped with our bonding.  Whether it is scientifically based or not, I often feel that the people preaching the instant bonding bit frequently ignore the fact that things sometimes go horribly wrong during childbirth--and that some of the things they advocate are not possible options for some women.  While I'm sure that they have good intentions, it doesn't change the fact that they sometimes make those of us feel even worse (and responsible for) our crappy birth experiences...as if anyone with any shred of sanity would choose to have HELLP and severe pre-e (or other complications) over even a semi-normal birth.