Am I in the wrong here?

tracieanchris

Heres the backstory:

My cousin (who lives in Dubai) came into town for christmas, and for her bridal shower. An invitation was sent out by my aunt a few months ago and I RSVP'd that I would be there. My dad, who lives in South Carolina, also came into town and told me that he wanted to see Kayla and me on the same day as my cousins shower. (He had plans the other days he was in town, and didnt remember the shower was that day) So, at Christmas,I gave my cousin her shower gift and told her that I might not make it to the shower because I was going to spend the day with my dad (who I only see twice a year). She was totally understanding about it and told me she didnt mind If I didnt come to her shower. Fast forward to today. My dad calls me this morning and tells me that my aunt is all upset because I didnt come to the shower.

Am I an ass for not going to the shower?

 

californiaclaire

I don't think so.... not at all. It's not like you just didn't show up.

jenella17

No, plans change, she got her gift so it's not like you forgot or blew her off.

ChelleM

your aunt is upset?  well, she's not the one having the baby.  the end.

jamie4duke

I can see both sides...I see my dad only in the summer, and I rarely make plans with anyone because I know that I want to spend as much time with my dad as possible.  But I guess if I rsvp'd to something I would feel bad for not going, and would probably make an appearance and then slip out quietly.  You did tell her ahead of time, so it's not like you just didn't show up.

haleyw458

Not at all. You told her ahead of time you may not make it, had a good reason, and gave her the gift. You could have not gone, not RSVP'd at all, and not gotten her a gift.

tracieanchris

jamie4duke:

I can see both sides...I see my dad only in the summer, and I rarely make plans with anyone because I know that I want to spend as much time with my dad as possible.  But I guess if I rsvp'd to something I would feel bad for not going, and would probably make an appearance and then slip out quietly.  You did tell her ahead of time, so it's not like you just didn't show up.

That was the problem....the shower was 2 hours away, so I couldnt just go for a little bit.

on an unrelated note, how are you???!!

Suparstarz714

no you aren't!  you sent a gift, and let them know you wouldn't be able to make, and had a reason!  What is shiesty is when you RSVP yes, don't show up and don't send a gift...

Temp108743750006959

I think when you rsvp, you should make every attempt to go. Esp since she traveled in from so, so far. It's not just about the gift. You could not have seen your dad in the evening?

jamie4duke

tracieanchris:

jamie4duke:

I can see both sides...I see my dad only in the summer, and I rarely make plans with anyone because I know that I want to spend as much time with my dad as possible.  But I guess if I rsvp'd to something I would feel bad for not going, and would probably make an appearance and then slip out quietly.  You did tell her ahead of time, so it's not like you just didn't show up.

That was the problem....the shower was 2 hours away, so I couldnt just go for a little bit.

on an unrelated note, how are you???!!

Oh, yeah if it was 2 hours away, I definitely wouldn't have been able to do it either.  Don't feel bad.  Your cousin was fine with it, who cares what your aunt thinks. 

I'm good, glad Christmas is over.  I hate how toys are harnessed into their packaging to the point that I need an electric saw to get them out.  How are you doing??

tracieanchris

jamie4duke:

tracieanchris:

jamie4duke:

I can see both sides...I see my dad only in the summer, and I rarely make plans with anyone because I know that I want to spend as much time with my dad as possible.  But I guess if I rsvp'd to something I would feel bad for not going, and would probably make an appearance and then slip out quietly.  You did tell her ahead of time, so it's not like you just didn't show up.

That was the problem....the shower was 2 hours away, so I couldnt just go for a little bit.

on an unrelated note, how are you???!!

Oh, yeah if it was 2 hours away, I definitely wouldn't have been able to do it either.  Don't feel bad.  Your cousin was fine with it, who cares what your aunt thinks. 

I'm good, glad Christmas is over.  I hate how toys are harnessed into their packaging to the point that I need an electric saw to get them out.  How are you doing??

Thanks That whole side of the family is just irritating anyway. lol

Yes, I am glad its all over too. Were trying to get on somewhat of a schedule again after being off of it for 4 days! But, other than that, we are great!

The packaging is a nightmare! I wonder how many kids have choked on those little plastic tie thingys....they were all over the floor!

brooketini

Maybe she didn't realize all the other circumstances that made it difficult for you to be there?

I know I was really disappointed because a lot of the people that RSVP'ed to my baby shower ended up either not showing up or calling at the last minute to say they couldn't make it. It was just really annoying for my SIL (who hosted) because she had tons of extra food, favors, etc. Maybe a lot of other people did the same thing for your cousin's shower, so she was just upset in general?