Did I do the wrong thing-re: ex-MIL

achase123 · December 2009

So my ex-MIL called on Christmas day and wanted to pick DS up and take him to her mother's house where they were having Christmas day. The woman has seen DS all of three times since he has been born and once was in the hospital. So I said I wasn't comfortable with that since he doesn't know her but she was welcome to come by the house and see him. She told me I was being way to controlling with the baby and wouldn't let their family bond with him. I am sorry, I just didn't feel comfortable letting my 4 month old son go with a complete stranger! I want them to have a relationship but he would have been so sad and confused! Did I do the wrong thing-WWYD?

FrickandFrack · December 2009

It was rude of her to tell you that you are being controlling. You offered for her to see him by coming over. I would have done the same thing.

ntnylizard · December 2009

Was dad going to be around? If not, no way.

evhamm · December 2009

uhh no, it is inconceivable to bring a baby somewhere without her mother/father/familiar parent for a family gathering!

Heather & Nayt · December 2009

its exactly what i would have done. no way would LO go with someone he hardly knew. If she wants a relationship with him she should be willing to come to him.

Oh how was your christmas?

meryltheresa · December 2009

Nope you are not in the wrong at all. He's your baby and if you aren't comfortable then that's it. My MIL is a loon and there is no way I would let her take DS. I was freaking out when she was just holding him on Christmas with me in the room! haha

staycee · December 2009

so she wanted to take your LO without you?

why does she even think this is an okay option?!

you totally did the right thing IMO.

jenna0627 · December 2009

Not wrong at all.

It wasn't like you said she couldn't see DS at all. If she is that worried about not bonding with him she should be making more of an effort of seeing him in general. Also fwiw I wouldn't let either sets of grandparents take DS to a family function without DH or I being there.

Suparstarz714 · December 2009

I would have done the same thing... if she wanted her family to see the baby, she could have invited you over.

Breezer80 · December 2009

If DS's father was going to be there, fine. If not, no. And like pp's said, its not like you flat out said no. Besides, its Christmas for Chrissakes!

achase123 · December 2009

ntnylizard:
Was dad going to be around? If not, no way.

No, he was MIA on Christmas which was great.

achase123 · December 2009

Heather & Nayt:

its exactly what i would have done. no way would LO go with someone he hardly knew. If she wants a relationship with him she should be willing to come to him.

Oh how was your christmas?

It was really good! Low-key. DS got a rocking horse that makes clippity clop noises and he LOVED it. He got so spoiled but it was fun.

achase123 · December 2009

staycee:

so she wanted to take your LO without you?

why does she even think this is an okay option?!

you totally did the right thing IMO.

Yes, she wanted to come pick him up and take him for a few hours. She thinks this is ok because she is a nutcase. She also thinks ex-DH and I are going to reconcile which will NEVER happen.

Lilly923 · December 2009

ntnylizard:
Was dad going to be around? If not, no way.

This.

kar5162 · December 2009

She called ON Christmas Day and wanted to take your 4mo old? She's insane. I could see MAYBE trying to work with her to work out some short visitation around the holidays with advance planning and someone you trust around to oversee things, but certainly not same day.

I think you were more than generous offering to let her stop by.

~BeesBoo~ · December 2009

Your offer was generous and fair. It is ridiculous that she felt that what she proposed was a good idea.

*KC*luvs*RJ* · December 2009

You're not being controlling. If he's only met her 3 times since birth she's a stranger to him. Don't worry!

dmd3026 · December 2009

You did the right thing, so don't doubt yourself. If she would have invited you to bring the baby over, that would be one thing but I can't believe she thought you would just let him go with her. Why would you want to spend your baby's first Christmas without him? She is a nutcase!