Finally had my blood drawn this morning. I am anxiously awaiting the results. I will be finding out if a thyroid problem or vitamin deficiency is leading to my depression.
My increased dose of Zoloft is helping some, but I had a rough day today. I broke down over my lack of Christmas spirit. I feel like such a failure. I worry that I have ruined Allie's first Christmas. I bought cards and wallet photos of Allie, and there they sit, unsigned and not mailed out. I have no Christmas tree...not a single decoration up. I went on a marathon shopping spree with DH yesterday, but no gifts are wrapped. I got no cookies baked. I am dreading going to visit family. I felt for a moment that I would be better off dead than having to suffer through this holiday in which I have failed to accomplish any of the normal festivities. I am just feeling so down on myself right now.