Need some serious advice here

kellygirl0515

DS is not doing well w/ pting.  I've been trying on and off for months and it's a losing battle for me.  I'm not pressuring him or forcing him b/c I know it will cause futher issues later on.  He's been in pullups since summer time but lately they are not working for us.  Is anyone else experiencing this or is it just me?  He's peeing right thru them and into his pants.  I've changed 2 pairs of pants this morning alone.  I'm at my wits end.  Do I put him back in diapers for the time being?  I'm so distraught over this.  I fear what will happen tomorrow if he's dressed up, out and in a pull up - I don't have 3 dress outfits to change him into.  Please help me....  Kel

ak071401

Am I reading your ticker right that he just turned 3? If so, I wouldn't stress too much because I have read that boys pt on average at about 3.5 yo.

My ds was trained at 2.5, but a lot of that had to do with him being in full time daycare and seeing some of the older boys use the potty and he wanted to use it, too. We also took him to the store and let him pick out undies. He picked these really colorful ones with the Disney Cars characters on them and he didn't want to "pee on McQueen" and that got him to try on the potty more, too. We also rewarded him with M&Ms when he tried to go on the potty.

I can also say, that ds was doing pretty well with the potty last year at this time, but Christmas and all the hoopla involved totally screwed it up. Maybe consider giving it a break (keep him in the pull ups, so he doesn't feel you are going backward) but just go with the flow until after New Year and then start up again.

luckyluvr

Maybe he's just  not ready. The average age for boys is 3 yr. 3 mo. or so, but that's not for everyone. My mom spent over a year trying to pt my sister b/c my mom decided it was time, not my sister. Trying to force the situation will only lead to stress and frustration. If it was me, I'd put diapers on him tomorrow and figure it out from there. GL

rbidi

11 months seems early for a boy, that's just my opinion. If it's beginning to frustrate you, I advice that you take a break. Because your frustrations will be passed on to him and the whole experience. I think putting him back in the diapers is fine, or getting a more absorbant pullup. Maybe a goodnight pair? Good luck!

Temp108743750006959

I would scale it back and take it step by step. like: if he just sits on the potty, offer to sit next to him and give him some attention, like a book or a Leap Frog. If he happens to go by accident, he gets an M&M -- but only offer M&M treats FOR the potty.

xmas time: i'd avoid it altogether. 

 

emilykristene2006

I would either go back to diapers until around 3 1/2 or I would go straight to underwear. Pull-ups can be confusing for a child.

If you go straight to underwear, try taking him to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so for a few days. If he has an accident, put him on the toilet to finish.

For nighttime I would use overnight diapers.

GL!

hopefulmom

It sounds like he is confused and that could be the issue.  A pull-up IS a diaper...he knows it's OK to pee in it (or poop).  At this point...because he is so confused I'd put him back in real diapers and wait a month or two (especially around the holidays when so much is going on anyway).  Then when you start back (maybe get him some great underwear for Christmas...if you celebrate it) explain to him what you are doing and put him in underwear and ask him to tell you when he feels like he has to go potty.  Don't wait for that though...take him often (every hour or so and DON"T ask if he has to go...he will more than likely say "no").  Consistency is the key to successful potty training that doesn't take months.  My kids were all trained within 3 days (including night time).  I think only a couple of them had an accident or two.  I was on top of it constantly though.  Eventually you will learn how long he can go without going potty.  After you think he's had enough time...take him (even if he says he doesn't have to go).  Tell him you have a great story to tell him while he sits on the potty...then tell him some story about Batman or whatever.  Get him to make up part of the story...just to keep him on the toilet.  I also rewarded with candy (M&M's work well - regular for pee and peanut for poop).  Give him plenty of fruit too...to keep his BM's soft.  Don't give up once you start over and be diligent and consistent.

Temp108743750006959

also, when you say you are not pressuring him...we did put on some healthy pressure. Nothing crazy or offensive, but you know: normal. You know your child best, of course.

chrismbel

Okay, I'm going to go WAY against the nest grain here.  But you asked for advice, so here's my 2 cents:

At 3, children are more than ready to pt.  I think this whole "boys are harder to pt" business is crap. 

Pull-ups are the devils tool.  They confuse kids.  It's a diaper...but wait I'm NOT supposed to pee or poop in it?  So is it undies or a diaper?  For centuries kids have either been peeing in a diaper or peeing in a toilet.  There doesn't need to be any in-between training tools.  These days we have pull-ups, overnight diapers, size 7 diapers for older kids (41+ lbs!!), super-absorbency, etc.... It's all a giant marketing ploy.  Kids in this country are being pt'ed older and older because diapers go up to a size big enough to fit a 3rd grader!

"Casual" no-pressure potty-training (letting him use the toilet here and there, diapers at night, pull-ups during the day, etc.) is also crap and clearly has not been working for you. 

Here's how I did it with my 2 DC:

Tell him the deal.  Explain to him that he is not a baby anymore...that you will be throwing away all of his diapers and pull-ups in the trash tomorrow (you need also pick a few days where you can be at home with him and devote a few days to REAL pting).  And you actually have to throw them into the trash...for him AND you...there is no going back for either of you...this is not a choice for him...and make it FUN...a goodbye diaper party...throw them in the trash and dance and sing....bye-bye-pull-ups!!

And then for the next few days, it's serious pting business.  Undies full-time (except for nap/bedtime if you chose to tackle daytime first)...lot's of drinking fluids and running to the potty and lot's of praise and/or rewards.

Be serious about it...make a decision that it's time (if you really think he's ready)...and go for it full-steam.  It WILL work if you really devote yourself to it for a few days.