My vent

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt

Ok so I went back and forth about posting this all day, so I would categorize any flames as "talking sense into me".

I don't talk to any of my HS friends anymore.  I went away to school- they all stayed here. I got "phased out" and to be honest, I'm pretty bitter about it. Well, my best childhood friend's father passed away and she posted the  details for calling hours on fb- it's tomorrow. Now we haven't talked in almost 10 years. My little "clique" all still hangs out so I'm sure they will all be there. I feel really awkward going. Am I obligated? DH says no since I we're out of contact. My sister says yes. Would you go?

TinaL99

I don't think you are "obligated" to go at all.  On one hand it would be nice for you to go and pay your respects.  However, it seems like it would be a very awkward situation, possibly for everyone.  If you haven't talked in 10 years I would say skip it. 

And I hope no one would flame you for this! 

MelissaSue81

no.. definitely not obligated to go..but if you do go, you might be glad that you did.

 I am certain that she wouldn't be offended if you did not go though.

wendyj

I definitely understand why you'd feel awkward. I guess if I knew the friend's dad - spent a lot of time at their house, been included in their family things as kids, then I'd probably go. If he was just Mr. X, then probably not.

Another way to look at it - you'd be there to respect a man's memory, not be at a high school reunion. Participation can be minimal and brief.

Smile5

I don't think your obligated to go. If you want to show her that you're thinking of her and her family, maybe you could send flowers to the funeral home instead?

JenJar

I think if I were in your same situation, I wouldn't go.  I don't talk to any of my HS friends either, and I think I would feel really awkward going. 

NikCole

I don't think you are obligated. You could always send her a sympathy card.

BitsyKelly

I certainly don't think you are obligate to go, but like PP said, you might be glad you did.  When I read this post I thought about who you were friends with in HS and looked on FB to see who you were talking about.  Hers was the first name I checked.  So from an outsider looking in on the situation, you guys were so close, and it was a long time ago, but if you were close to her family at all I think it might be nice to stop by. Maybe your DH or sis will go with you?   

I was faced with a similar situation over the summer.  I went for a few min, said hello, payed my respects, then quietly left. It was a little strange to try to make small talk with people I haven't seen in so long, but I'm glad I went.

I'm sure whatever you decide will be the right thing for you. 

Stellabella125

MelissaSue81:

no.. definitely not obligated to go..but if you do go, you might be glad that you did.

 I am certain that she wouldn't be offended if you did not go though.

I agree with this (i'm sorry they phased you out...it's their loss)