I just have to vent for a minute (long)

Telyco

A little back story - I am my parents' only stable child. My brother and sister have needed them sooooo much as adults - emotionally and financially. They have made very stupid choices that has ended up with a broken relationship and broken marriage, all with two or more children in the mix. I have also helped my siblings as much as I can - with money, emotional support and my husband and I have also let each one live with us for a while (most recently my sister and two children this past spring) Because of all this - I feel like I can't and shouldn't lean on my parents too much if I need to...I feel like they deserve at least one child to not stress them out. So, I only try and talk to them about uplifting things and hardly ever vent to them about anything.

My parents are awesome...but they so need time alone (my brother lives with them now and has visitation with his children at their house)...they would MUCH rather go somewhere alone or be by themselves alone - and I totally get that. But I also have a little resentment that my MIL has offered to help us so much more than my mom (I feel so horrible for even saying any of this - and my mom does live farther away)...but my mom had also driven up here to watch my sister's kids for the day quite a few times and now that they live in the same town helps with them ALL the time.

My mom is supposed to come in the day before my c-section (assuming nothing comes up beforehand) ...but today I emailed her and basically asked her to come up two days earlier so that Evan gets used to her more. I got the same response that I usually get (like the two times I have asked)...just an almost insincere ok, what you would like. Which makes me feel terrible for even asking in the first place.

I know this is stupid - but I guess because since she does SO much for the other g-kids and my siblings....that I feel like she should at least fake it a little and make sure there is no way I would feel bad asking for help.

Now, I actually want to ask my MIL to come up instead of my mom...and just have my mom come up when I come home from the hospital. And just the point behind that kinda hurts.

Think I should just do this? Or just ask my mom to come up when I want her to and just try to ignore that she's not the happiest about it?

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt

Don't feel bad. Hmm maybe her "ok" was misinterpreted through email? I would give her a call and ask if everything is alright.

My DH's older brother have "issues" too. I mean, nothing severe but we try not to get hung up on it, but it's tough sometimes. Since we complain/ask the least, we miss out on lots of help & benefits the other brother get. He always says "the squeaky wheel gets the oil".

NikCole

If you never ask for help I wouldn't feel guilty about it... you need it! It sucks that she isn't more excited to come and see her grandchild, but like pp said her response might have been misinterpreted through email.

jewelsonu

Dh and I are the most stable out of his family and are the only ones to live out of town.  It took my MIL 9 months to come and see E.  I feel like he is going to miss out on alot b/c we aren't there and he won't get gifts from his aunts/uncles and grandma.(I know they aren't important but it's the principle) MIL helps out the other kids alot(pays for elctric to get turned on, legal fees, getting a car out of impound)

Don't feel bad about asking your mom.  It's your mom of course you want her and not your MIL with you.  i hope you just misinterpretted it.