now i know what it feels like

hmabley

Read the stories. Heard the stories. Watched the blogs. But nothing prepares you for when it is your turn to be in the room with friends over the holidays and the couple who were married at the same time you were, hounded by the same circle of friends about "when are you going to have a baby" that you are, and announces.... "We're pregnant!"

Thought I would be much better prepared for this. I honestly was happy for them. They are a delightful couple. But like others who have told me about their experiences, the jealousy and the sadness for all the other reasons washed right over me. Felt like an a**, but instead smiled and hugged them both.

It is likely I let myself become more effected by this than I normally would because after months of trying, my husband and I have come to realize we are going to need to begin the process of working with the doctors for help. Like many of you, we will begin our next phase getting tested to find out why we may not be able to conceive and what is going on with my ovulation cycle. I read all of your stories, and you all inspire me to be strong. Some days I don't know how all of you get through this and all the challenges that come your way. You all definitely define the spirit of woman power.

 Thanks for reading my ramble.....

hollymichael

Sorry you are feeling down.  Other than the lack of a baby, the thing I hate most about my struggle with IF is that I can't truly feel happy when I hear that someone else is pregnant.  Of course I am happy for them, but at the same time, I feel so down and bad for myself.  Then, I feel guilty for feeling like this.   I really, really hate this about IF.

indianasunshine

It is so incredibly difficult.  I lost a good friend because I couldn't be happy for her when she got pregnant.  We started trying before her, and she got pregnant the first month they tried.  Her son is a year old now, and I have never met him.  It's so sad, but I know that I could not have handled it any differently.  Hang in there...

DrVWife

Hugs to you.

Sometimes it is so hard to see all of our friends move onto the next stage and then we feel left behind.  Two of my friends who both got married after DH and I (but within the first year), have both had their first babies.  I thought for sure I would be in that baby club....

That being said...both are very sensitive to what we are going through.  I have found that those that know are much more understanding of me.  They ask me if I am okay with things before doing them and have both offered a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.

Hang in there!

ougrad1

You'll get inspired again after talking with the RE and getting a plan of action.  Keep your head up and keep us posted! 

joyfulnature

((((hugs)))

The way you are feeling is perfectly normal.

Congratulations for starting the RE process. It can be a tough step to take, but once you take it and find out what's happening, and what can be done about it, you'll feel better.

BirdieBrd

I could have wrote this myself.   (that's a hug).

I haven't had a dinner party announcement yet but I am expecting one at Christmas from my cousin who got married 2 years after me.  Like you said, I will be happy for them but the jealousy and sadness that it's not you tends to trump the happiness. The best you can do is grin and bear it.