Upstate NY Babies

I am having an "I can't do this" day

I seriously.. cannot take it sometimes...

ironically I see Cutemin probably feels the same as I do today..

DH got accepted into grad school that starts Jan 5.  It is bad enough I am basically just about in tears by the time he gets home at 4pm - no less that he is basically never going to have free time any more.  

I haven't had a decent meal in ages, I am so freaking sick of cooking.  I have alternated between 2 "fat" sweatpants and 2 nasty old sweatshirts in the past 9 weeks, because a) nothing fits and b) it is going to get vomited on anyway.  Besides, I don't leave the house, so what do I care?

I can't take the kids crying at me all day long.  Hailey cries and cries, and then Natalie starts screaming at me.  I know there is some sort of competition for mommy's attention and I cannot handle it any more.  I have given every ounce of my being to my kids and all my free time is spent cleaning or cooking or wrapping gifts or whatever...

Today I feel like I'm about to snap because I haven't had a nap in weeks, DH is going to be home late, and as soon as I sit down, the baby wakes up.  It is some sort of psychological torture that is really working quite well to mess me up. 

DH has been helping out a lot, he basically takes my toddler once he gets home, but I think about him going to grad school and I totally panic, I know it is going to be a nightmare for me as selfish as it sounds.

Thanks for hearing me vent.. any ideas?  I don't want to send DD to preschool because I can't have her bringing germs home (and we have been majorly sick every winter so I'm trying to do everything I can to prevent that).  I am thinking of hiring someone to come watch my toddler at least 1 night a week?  I feel like she (the toddler) is super resentful, and rightly so, so it makes me feel that much more horrible because I literally never play with her any more.

Re: I am having an "I can't do this" day

  • I'm really sorry you are going through this. It's so hard to do this (with one kid or 100) all day long...for some of us anyway. And all of us have had days like this - unfortunately some have it harder than others.

    I call DH every day at around 5 to make sure he's thinking about leaving work on time. I feel bad - but I'm done and Evan needs something else to do, another face to see except mine. Some days he'll whine for an hour straight and then DH walks through the door and he's a perfect little angel until bedtime.

    I don't even know how I am going to handle two kids alone, M-F. DS was so hard in the beginning. I think I cried my way though 75% of the days until he was 5 months old. But it did get better and that's what I try to focus on now - and hope to be able to focus on when DD arrives.

    I'm not even going to get into clothes and "taking care of myself" that awholenother post itself. DH is lucky if I'm not wearing the same thing he saw me in when he left for the day.

    So anyway - if you can swing it...or even come close to swinging it I would call a middle/high school girl to some in once or twice a week. Since you basically just want a playmate and not an actual sitter. Plus - when you find someone you really can get her all trained and once she gains more experience she can turn into a regular for you to be able to go out a bit, alone/with friends or DH or whatever.

  • I think PP had a great idea about the middle schooler/high schooler. She doesn't have to necessarily "babysit" just come play with your older DD and it would probably be very cheap.

    I tend to be very relaxed when it comes to "germs" situations. I would think that preschools would really be pushing hand washing/ good hygiene these days. Maybe she wouldn't get as germy as you'd think.

    My DH works 10-7:30 almost every single day, so I feel your pain (well I mean minus 1 kid, lol). DH wakes up at 9am, showers/gets ready and is out the door. He only gets to see Justin for an hour or so unless he can come home for lunch. I know it kills him to be gone (away from the baby) so much so I wouldn't dare add fuel to the fire by complaining about him not being home.

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