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Parenting
ChristyNCole1
member
I guess I'm a selfish mom b/c I make less than I pay for daycare...
ChristyNCole1
member
in Parenting
I was just reading the "unpopular" opinions post from earlier today. Someone posted posted about the daycare thing and how some mom's don't make enough to cover the cost of expenses for daycare and it's not worth it and all that.
Both my kids are in a daycare - DS#1's class is setup more like school. It's the best one I could find that I trusted and loved, so it's more expensive than others in town. (Not as expensive as some people's I have seen on here..not even close! But that's a perk of living in a smallish town) They are only there from 9-2 and it's Monday-Friday. I only work part-time, but I need full-time care because I'm in school at least 2 days a week depending on my school schedule. I don't make remotely what it cost to have them there.
I'm still taking my core classes now I will be done next semester and hopefully get into the nursing program in the fall. But the school I am at has one of the best in the state - 99% of students pass the NCLEX exam when they graduate. It's extremely hard to even get in. One of the things they look at and take into consideration is work experience. So I work at a Dr. Office part-time to give me that much more of an edge to get in. I sometimes get a day off a week and I use that to study.
Some people have said that I am selfish for being in school and putting my kids in daycare when I could save money by keeping them home (the cost of my tuition + books and their tuition). I may be but it's something I really want to do and I don't see how I can tell my kids to go to college when I myself don't have a degree. I'm not knocking anyone who doesn't have a degree - or saying if you don't your kid won't go to college. I just want to lead by example for my kids and this is something that I really want to do. My sister will graduate from the program in May and she will be the first person in my entire family to have a college degree (extended family included and it?s a large family). When I graduate I will be the second. College wasn?t a big deal in my family, which is a main reason I never went. So I guess in my head I see it as if I have a degree then I can expect the same out of my children.
DH and I do struggle with money sometimes (you may remember my credit card post not too long ago). But overall we are doing fine - DH worked over to make up for that extra money that came out and we aren?t doing Christmas presents for each other this year. I do feel bad for him working his butt off for me to finish school, but it's something we both have agreed is very important for our family.
So I am probably one of those people that the SAHM's hate because I am "selfish" and don't make enough to support the idea of having my child being "raised" by someone else. But my kids love their teachers and their friends and I am glad they are there. So flame me all you want because I'm one of those mom's who works sometimes as little as 7 hours a week (during the weeks I have test or lab practical?s and really need to study) and my kids are in school full-time.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I guess I'm a selfish mom b/c I make less than I pay for daycare...
Don't worry about it!
Curious to the poster about the daycare thing: What do you think about SAHM's putting their children in preschool? Is that not justified as they don't make any money at all?
Dude, that was a LOT of time and effort to type out! LOL I really wouldn't worry about the opinions of a few random strangers on the internet about how you're living your life. If you're happy and your kids are happy and well cared for, it's all good!
Good luck with school! My brain hurts just thinking of going back to school! More power to you!
Going to school is admirable, not flameful.
Good for you. Also, I couldn't care less what people do with regards to childcare if it works for them.
I think it's stupid to make yourself miserable doing what someone else tells you is the right way - be happy with what works for you and do it that way. That's the real right way.
Not selfish at all! Both my DH and I work full-time and he's gone back to school full-time to finish his bachelor's degree (it's a program where he goes every other weekend for 4 hours Friday night and all day Saturday). He misses out on time with our kiddo, but he's improving himself and setting a good example for our son. I'm totally proud of him!
BTW, I teach anatomy and physiology at a community college and the book in the top picture with your older son looks really familiar.
Good luck non-selfish Mommy!
Please, you are the doing the right thing!
Honestly, I think the selfish ones are the ones who think they are somehow entitled to stay home, yet can't afford it, setting their family up for financial ruin.
Securing your family's financial future is not selfish at all! Good luck with school.
I don't remember reading that one-- just the one about how working moms should only have one child or some other BS.
I'm a SAHM, and two of my kids are in preschool for three mornings a week. Since I'm not earning anything right now, I certainly don't earn enough to pay their tuition.
Keep up your good work!!! School is really hard and it's 3x harder with kids! DH and I are very tight because he's working on his PhD right now, but we don't even think about the money. He could start working tomorrow for good money as he is in Engineering and has completed his Masters, but we put his education above all right now. An education is something you'll always have and is worth the investment
I do think, though, that the person was referring to people who SAH FT (I don't consider a student parent a SAH parent!) and still send their child(ren) to daycare several times a week. Really, it's up to them to know what's best for their family.
I did not see the original post, and everyone has to do what they want to do, but the people I know who do this are not working to better themselves or their careers, as you are.
The ones I know just want their kids out of their hair. For example, I know a lady who has both her kids in "school" 5 days a week at 18 months and barely 3 years. She works a $20 an hour job, she pays 40% in taxes on that income because of her DH's job. It cost her at least $20 an hour to have her kids in daycare, probably more like $25 or $30.
Nothing wrong with it, it is her choice, but it isn't the most rational one from a financial perspective.
I've had a crappy couple of days (sick kids.. stuck at home) but your situation is so not what your subject line suggests. It's pretty clear that you're doing the right thing and you should be proud of yourself. Nobody would call you selfish for it.
I just wish you had titled this post "AW - look what I'm doing for my family!" b/c that's what you really mean. (and how you should feel!)
I'm a sahm and I don't think your selfish. Everyone has to do what is best for their household and for themselves. No one has the right to judge anyone for the choices they make. You are going to school to better yourself, how is that bad? People who pass judgement whether they are working moms, stay at home moms, or who don't even have kids are just insecure in their own decisions and they want to make themselves feel better by putting others down. Please do not generalize one person's opinion to be everyone's.
That was really long sorry.. but the post I was talking about said something about how they hate when parents use the excuse that they work because they have to, but the kids daycare cost the same as they make.
I've been told I was selfish by a lot of people that I know IRL. I guess it just touches a nerve when people say that. I work my butt off and don't get any sleep because I stay up until 1 or 2am studying after they boys go to bed.
Life is too short to be worrying about what other people think of your decisions. I think that it's great you are making all these sacrifices(work, school) to better yourself, which in the long run will be better for the family as a whole. You should be proud of yourself because your kids one day will look back and hopefully see how hard you worked too.
No it wasn?t yours. I didn't recognize the name and I don't think they had a siggy picture. But now that I'm looking for it I can't find it?.
I don't think anyone would judge what yu do. Well, I think you said people IRL say things, but they just might be seeing what they want to see.
However, I do judge people who SAH and have full time nannies. I don't really get why these people had kids. And by full time, I mean 40+hrs/week. It could very well be that I'm pregnant w/ #3, overwhelmed and jealous, but I still judge.