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Adoption
rudest comment EVER
I had a check up today with my kidney dr. and the last time I saw him G was just a few weeks old so I took him with me and just left him in his car seat. Anyways, today I left him with my mom in the waiting room and when the dr. walked in the exam room he looked around and said "where's your boughten baby? "
I was in such shock I just stared at him with wide eyes and my mouth was probably wide open too! I wish I could have thought of something to say but I just couldn't speak. I still can't believe anyone would say that let alone a DR, the same dr. that told me I shouldn't get pregnant....so completely inappropriate...I am firing mad. what a jerk. i'll be looking for a new dr.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: rudest comment EVER
I am so sorry. I probably have made a comment as soon as I pick-up my jaw off the floor. So far people have been nice to us. I have a co-worker who as many nasty commets about adoption in the past so she has been watching her mouth in my company. I am sure she is nasty behind my back.
HUGS
That is horrible, I can not believe anyone would say that. He should be ashamed of himself. I would be looking for a new doctor right away. If you lived near me I would recommend my Kidney Dr to you. He is also looking into adoption, so he asks me questions about it everytime I go in to see him.
I am so sorry.
Completely off topic...but I read your blogs!! I LOVE them both! I didn't know you were on the adoption board...I found your blogs on the D&R board on the nest. Anyhow welcome and thanks for blogging!
You can probably file a complaint with the doctor's office. At the very least I highly recommend you send a letter to him and to his supervisor (usually a medical group of some kind) because that is very unprofessional behavior from a doctor.
I'm sorry you to get such a negative comment from him...your little boy is adorable!!
I hang out here when I get the chance
thank you for the blog compliment! may I ask what the D&R board is?
I agree with everyone else. His comment was completely inappropriate, rude, and offensive.
That being said, is there any chance that English is his second language? I only ask because I can't imagine a doctor having such poor etiquette and manners, and because while "boughten" is an adjective, it is not commonly used as such. If there is a possibility that what he said was the horrible result of a poor translation of a commonly accepted, non-offensive phrase for adoption in his native tongue, I would cut him some slack.
But, in my heart of hearts, I know that's a long shot, and I'd be right there with the rest of pps, telling him why I would be seeking another, more respectful doctor.
I am so sorry that you were hurt. No family should be made to feel "less than" because of the way they came together.
What a douchebag.
I didn't think it could get worse than my Mom's comment after she heard how much Russian adoption costs. She said, "So you're bribing the Russian government so you can have one of their children."
Yeah, Mom, exactly... ::head desk::
br
nope, i know he meant it to be funny, but it was definitely not! good thought though, I wish that was the case.
Sorry for the confusion Kaitie...I meant I read Saved a Penny's blogs. I found her on Decorating and Renovating (D&R) boards.
In that case, FIRE HIM! He should know better, and that is unacceptable. I envy your composure, because I would not have been able NOT to confront him right then and there.
i am just sorry sorry. i would definitely find a new dr and write a letter.
your boy is simply adorable!.....
I have to be honest - I deal with doctors every day and they say some of the stupidest BS you can imagine. You know why? They're human. Just because you went to med school doesn't mean you're morally, ethically, and intellectually superior to the rest of the world. It just means you wanted to be a doctor and then did well enough in college and on the MCATs to get in and then finish. (Except MayDayGirl's husband - he is surely a genius for marrying her
)
The grammar makes me wonder if this guy is older? I can't imagine he said it with malice. I'd chalk it up to another person who has never been educated on appropriate adoption language and doesn't fundamentally understand how modern adoption works. Oh, and I'd send him a note at his office explaining that you were hurt and shocked at his comment. And if he'd like to continue his care for you, you'd appreciate an apology.
I agree with ColoRX that doctors are just human, but I wouldn't do business with anyone who's so insensitive, callous, rude, or offensive.
What if her child was older and within earshot? He may not know positive adoption language, but I'm pretty sure that most people know that "boughten baby" is not a proper way to describe an adopted child. If he's gotten this far in life without figuring it out yet, than maybe he'll learn by my FIRING him. People don't often think their doctors like any other service provider, from whom they should demand a certain level of respect. Not liking their bedside manner is enough of a reason for me to switch doctors, regardless of how good they are in their field. I'd leave a dry cleaner who said the same thing to me, or quit patronizing a restaurant--why not dump a doctor?
My job as an adoptive parent is not to educate people about adoption; it's to protect my child's best interests. Besides, sometimes tough love is the best education, so maybe he'll learn that that kind of language is simply not acceptable when I tell him why I'll never return.
O. M. G. My jaw just dropped. I would fire him too...after filling his ears full of positive adoption language. That is ridiculous!!!!!
all i can say is wow!
yeah i would fire him and i would make sure he knows why he was fired with a nice letter and if he is with a larger practice or a group practice I would make sure the big boss knew too. not appropriate at all. I have a close friend that i could see making a joke like thateven though that is still not right i would be more comfortable in that than a stranger or someone you do bussiness with. so so so so wrong.
OMG. That's so rude! I would have had a hard time not giving him a piece of my mind right then and there.....
I agree with PPs -- I would fire him, and write him a letter (and his boss/the other doctors in the practice, if applicable) telling him exactly why. Wearing a white coat isn't an excuse for being rude.
Wow. I get that he's human and we all make mistakes. I feel sorry for everyone. I feel most sorry for you that you had to hear such a rude comment, and for him and his ignorance--and poorly said "joke."
I would be so horrified, I just wouldn't be able to come back!