Mom in delivery room...

LonghornNAggie

Anyone having their mom in the delivery room with them? If so, how did you MIL react? We haven't made any final decisions but I am thinking of going natural and my mom has gone natural and really would like her in the delivery room. DH has no problem with this.

 His mom is a bit of a, well, she, ummm, she... above all she loves being a grandmother, but frankly p!sses me off on a regular basis.

With my mom I feel like she will be in the room to help ME and take care of ME, with my MIL it would all be about the baby and that isn't really why I want extra people in the room for... they can see the baby right afterwards.

 Anyway, I just wanted to see if there was anyone who was having their mom in the room, but not your MIL... if so, how is MIL reacting?

I was thinking of just not mentioning it...

FireWife2009

I am having my mom in the room. I think my MIL will understand, i dont see her getting upset.

laurenrobbie

I'm not having my mom in there, but among people who do I think it is very common NOT to have your MIL in there too. I mean there are just some things that an MIL should not see...

campSnoopy02

LonghornNAggie:

Anyone having their mom in the delivery room with them? If so, how did you MIL react? We haven't made any final decisions but I am thinking of going natural and my mom has gone natural and really would like her in the delivery room. DH has no problem with this.

 His mom is a bit of a, well, she, ummm, she... above all she loves being a grandmother, but frankly p!sses me off on a regular basis.

With my mom I feel like she will be in the room to help ME and take care of ME, with my MIL it would all be about the baby and that isn't really why I want extra people in the room for... they can see the baby right afterwards.

 Anyway, I just wanted to see if there was anyone who was having their mom in the room, but not your MIL... if so, how is MIL reacting?

I was thinking of just not mentioning it...

 

i can create another topic from this sentence.. .. lol... (again, im such a topic thief today.. )

im in the same boat.. im not sure i will have my mother in the room with me.. i guess i just have to wait til that time comes.. 

magdalina.h

My mil would die from embarrassment if I asked her to be in the delivery room. lol

cpsocal

I could have written this.  Word for word.  Good luck!

anabell0920

No mom with me she agrees and said the only way she would want to be in there is if dh was deployed. I personally see it as the first time it will be our little family so I only want us in there. MIL we don't talk to so that is easy.

ChelseyMiller

I am definitely not having MIL anywhere near me during labor/delivery, my mom on the other hand will be there.  I am planning to go natural too and I know that having someone in the room that is a constant source of stress and annoyance will do nothing but hinder my progress.  It's a personal thing and I just don't feel close to MIL on that level.  I feel like she knows we aren't close in that way and will understand...

It's a personal choice completely and you should go with whatever you are comfortable with. 

MrsEmm

my MIL was hurt but she has 2 daughters so I think deep down she understands where im coming from - plus DH explained that since Im birthing without meds I want to be alone essentially and appreciate the support of my DH & my mom.

MIL never really mentioned it to me & I pretended like I didnt know it was a big deal to her. She came in RIGHT AFTER i delivered - Its not a big deal imo. Shes just competitive like that & Im not going to cater to it.?

jodi_p

I was curious about this too! I wanted to ask my mom to be in the delivery room too but I know it would cause problems with MIL. I haven't asked my mom yet but I just thought it would be a cool experience for both of us.

 MIL I wouldn't want in there because she would make me nervous.

will'sbeachprincess

I'm having my mom but not my MIL.  My MIL lives across the country though, so that helps!  Does your MIL live close enough that you'll have to actually tell her that you don't want her there? If not, I'd go with not mentioning it-she'll bring it up sooner or later if she wants to be there.

My MIL actually mentioned to me that she wanted to take a trip to see us the last week of March (she's a teacher's aide and that is their spring break) but that she realized that's when I'm due and she didn't want to intrude.  I told her that was very thoughtful of her and that we appreciated it and would love to have them come visit soon afterward.  She proceeded to ask me what my parents' plans are regarding visiting and I told her straight up I wanted my mom in the delivery room.  Both her and FIL were adamant that I would not want that and that this is a special time that DH and I need to have alone.  I smiled and nodded.  Whatever, if I want my mommy I'm going to get my mommy!

jodi_p

Sorry hit the submission twice

Ba Lolly

The way I look at it is this:  You have a human being coming out of your body... that by definition means that whatever you say goes that day.  If it means that MiL has to sit in the L&D room lobby, then so be it.  If nothing but the sheer amounts of pain you will be in, it is your party that day.

MFalor

We haven't even gotten that far yet.  All I know is we'll be calling all the parents as soon as we know for sure that I'm in labor "for real."  His side has to drive 2.5 hours and mine has to fly out.  Nobody is allowed to visit w/out calling first and I don't think I'll want anyone in the delivery room.  If I do end up having my mom in, I seriously doubt my MIL will care b/c she's not very touchy-feely.  (Neither is my mom, but she is my mom).  Besides, her daughter gave birth a couple years ago, so she had her mother-daughter-granddaughter moment.

cdc1982

I didn't even give my mom a choice, lol!  I said "Oh, by the way, you'll be in the delivery room so dad will have to watch the dogs" lol!!!  (She laughed too, I wasn't being rude, it was a funny conver).

I haven't said anything to my MIL but I don't think she has any desire or thoughts of being in the delivery room with us!  That's just not how she is.  I don't even know if she was in there when her daughter had her 2 kids

MWoodside

My mom won't be in there.  She gives tons of unsolicited advice & as much as I love her she would drive me nuts.  Therefore, no one else besides DH is allowed either.

star173

Do whatever is most comfortable for you! If your MIL doesn't like it, too bad...I mean, don't treat her that way, but don't have anyone in there that may make you uncomfortable in any way. Heck, if you decide in the middle of labor you don't want your mom in there, let her know- she'll understand.

Good luck with your goal!!

StephanieDM

I'm having my mom and DH in the room and thats it. My mom also had 3 natural births and I know she'll remain calm and be a great help.

My MIL will likely throw a fit. She gave me grief for not inviting her to my first ultrasound (which was a vaginal ultrasound, and she knew it). When she found out my mom came with me (because DH couldn't get off work) she was pissed. I ignored it. My MIL has a tendency to make EVERYTHING about her. She would be telling us stories about her labor experiences while I'm in the middle of pushing. Ugh!?

Frankly, I don't care how my MIL reacts. She can deal with it. I'm also having my sister on MIL-duty, and she has my full permission to chase her out of the hospital if she tries to go into my delivery room. Hahaha.?

Mrs. Reckling

I dont know if my mom will be with us or not. I've always said I wanted her in there for support but now that its closer to time I'm not sure.  I almost want it to be a special moment with just H and myself and H is sure he's comfortable with my mom being in there too.

binnyskitch

With my first pregnancy, I had my mom in the room and told MIL to wait in the waiting room.  While I was pushing, I felt guilty and couldn't stop thinking about her sitting out there all by herself (even though my mom was in the delivery room)...so I told DH to go get her.  I am too nice.

lindsaynjason

I'm planning on having my mom in there with me.  DH and I talked about it and he assured me that his mom will be ok if she can't be in there.  I'm not entirely sure about how many people I am allowed to have during delivery.  If I'm allowed to have 3, then MIL will be included for sure.  My MIL is great and I think she'll really be able to help DH relax

wildfloweragain

Yeah, delivery is about you (safety for the baby, but really this is your really tough time.) You should have whoever is helpful to you and if that is your mom, MIL needs to get a grip.  Personally my mom isn't helpful and I only want DH but if she and I had a different relationship I'd go with mom. We asked MIl and Mom not to even be at the hospital, we'd call when it was over.

T1andT2

No, neither.  Mom will get to watch DS.  But even if I wanted only my Mom there, MIL would not mind.  My MIL is awesome and has never crossed any boundries or said anything rude or anything that annoyed me. 

tsu_04

I had my mom, and needed her!  Plan to do the same thing again.  MIL didn't mind she understood that most daughters would want their mother, the same as she did.  And she enjoyed getting the time with DH and baby in the nursey while my mom was back with me in the room.

Lexi0402

I plan on having DH and maybe my mom, but definitely not MIL. No offense but my mom would be in there because she's MY mom. When her son pushes a watermelon out of his ass, she can be in the room.

mrs.ritz

I am having my mom in the room and my mother in law because we are close.  Has your mother in law every seen a grandchild be born? If so the she should understand that you only want your mom.  But if she hasnt then it would be an awesome experience for her and I am sure your husband would be grateful.

 

lesalia217

I am not sure how I feel.  There are days when I want them both, there are days when I don't even want my mom in there.  I think that I would like them in there before the action starts, then kick everyone out as things get interesting. 

KittyKatMom

I'm planning to have my mom in the room, but my MIL lives out of state, so it's not an issue anyway. Even if she were here, I don't think she'd expect to be there.

jacquelinethorne

In the end you have to do what makes you comfortable, although I think your MIL might surprise you if she was also in the delivery room. I'm not exactly my MIL's #1 fan, but she is an awesome delivery coach and is so helpful in the delivery room, I can't imagine not having her with us. Once baby is born she's always very respectful of our space and quickly leaves to give us some alone time with our new baby. If you do decide to let her in, feel free to set ground rules so she doesn't do anything outside your comfort zone, and of course, reserve the right to ask her to leave if you start feeling uncomfortable with her there.

HarCoMommy

Mrs. Reckling:

I dont know if my mom will be with us or not. I've always said I wanted her in there for support but now that its closer to time I'm not sure.  I almost want it to be a special moment with just H and myself and H is sure he's comfortable with my mom being in there too.

 

Exactly this! And I'm nervous that I will hurt her feeling if I tell her that I'd prefer it to just me DH and I....