PPA - Does this sound like it?
SDKelli
member
Hi ladies...I am happy to find this board and to know there are other people out there who I can talk to.
I have finally admitted to myself that I have a great deal of anxiety since the birth of my baby girl 6 weeks ago. I had an unplanned c-section due to her heart rate dropping after the epidural and it was pretty stressful although I don't think the severity of it really hit me till we were home from the hospital.
From everything I have read it seems like PPA is centered around worrying about the baby's health. I do worry about the baby alot, but my anxiety stems more from the things I feel I need to get done around the house, but don't have the time to do. Everything from paying bills, x-mas shopping, laundry, cleaning, planning x-mas dinner, grocery shopping, etc..And then there's the things that are really trivial like cleaning some vases from my wedding that have been in the garage for a year so I can use them in my xmas decorations. Why do I feel the need to do this now? LOL!
I get really anxious when these things pile up and they bother me until they get done. It's like I cannot relax until everything is clean, put away and just perfect, which nowadays is never. I feel like I should be able to be super mom and do it all (my husband does help) but it is hard to get everything done that I want to. Sometimes I wish I could just detach my boob and be able to get it all done or sleep a full 8 hours. I need to start pumping so my husband can feed her, but that's another source of anxiety all together. I only get 1 oz or so per pump session and it's making me wonder if I'll have enough when I have to go back to work. My shoulders and neck feel really tense all the time. I was like this a bit before she was born too, but now it is magnified ten fold.
I also have a great deal of anxiety about the weight I gained during pregnancy. I gained 60 lbs in pregnancy and have lost 30 lbs so far. I'm still in my maternity jeans 
I have a work function to go to tomorrow that I am dreading because I still look huge. Of course they will be looking at the baby mostly but I know that everyone will look at me and think damn, she''s still fat!
So am I just a normal first time mom stressing out or do you think this could be something worse? I would love to hear from other people with PPA. Thank you!
Re: PPA - Does this sound like it?
I had a lot of anxiety as well, but not as much surrounding the baby, as much as being anxious about things at home, I was convinced my husband was leaving us, etc.
My Ob actually diagnized me with PPD, not PPA, even though my main symptom was anxiety.
It doesn't hurt to check with your doc. They'll be able to give you a better assessment, then start you on treatment if necessary.
GL!
I don't have PPA, but I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder pre-pregnancy. Typically, the way I know my anxiety is out of control is when I'm having irrational anxiety. Being anxious about things that are ridiculous to be anxious about (I hear a siren and assume my DH has been in a car crash). Even though I KNOW I shouldn't be anxious about these things I CANNOT stop myself. It starts to take over my life. I spend my time doing those things in leiu of more important things (eating, sleeping).
Are you typically pretty Type A? It sounds like you are trying to exert some control over your life. You can't control other things (your labor, baby), so you try to control what you can -vases clean? check. bills paid? check. This sounds like a pretty typical way of coping with a major life change. I've also felt this overwhelming urge to be super mom & super wife, I think that's a fairly typical feeling and nearly impossible to accomplish.
IMHO, you sound like a typical new mom. But you know how you feel. If you are worried about it, talk to your doctor. I tend to be hyper aware of my behavior in light of how much we hear about PPA & PPD. Nothing is more reassuring than telling your doctor about your behaviors and having them say "totally normal".
Here's a good breakdown of symps of both PPD and PPA.. It helped me understand what I was going through for sure!
https://postpartumprogress.typepad.com/weblog/postpartum_anxiety/
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