Annoyed at family about Christmas

goldenleaves

Some of our family keep asking us if we'll be over for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. We have no idea! I'm due on the 23rd. We tried explaining that we're really not sure, we won't know until we have the baby if we'll be available. And even if we're technically available, we don't know if we'll be up to a large family gathering with a 2 week old (or less) baby.

How are you handling these situations? Our families don't seem to get it.

Lance&Becca

I'm sorry they're pestering you. Probably they are just so excited at the thought of getting to see the baby they're not thinking about how tired you may be. Maybe just say very bluntly that you will make up your mind on 12/23 and to ask you then??????

kimberleigh30

We are in the same boat as you.  We are due on the 27th and everyone keeps asking us what we plan on doing.  We just tell them that we will be there granted I am feeling up to it and not miserable or not in labor.

MrsC17

We already told everyone that we're definitely not going anywhere for Christmas this year (even if I had her today, we're staying put--too much danger with cold/flu out there, not to mention the last thing I'll likely want to do while I'm possibly still bleeding, sore and getting used to breastfeeding every couple of hours is get alllll packed up when I can be cozy at home with my family).

  This makes life easier because even if you decide to change your mind at the last minute, no one is really going to give you a hard time about it (because I'm sure they'll all want to see the baby).  We plan to order in some Italian catering for both Christmas eve/day, my mom, brother and his wife all plan to be here (either way) and my IL's say they'll probably come hang out too if the baby is here by then (no need to dress up, sweats are juuuust fine, woohoo!)

goldenleaves

It just bugs me, you know? DH's family is being really difficult about it. I understand they want to see the baby, but they'll have to come to us!

MrsMoody2006

This is definitely a huge dilemma...and it depends on the parents largely. DD was due on the 18th...my family has a huge party every year the Sunday before Christmas...DD came on the 13th and we brought her at 9 days old to the party and stayed for the whole thing (2 pm until midnight or so). My cousin's son was 7 weeks and she came for about 30 minutes. 

getnmarried910

We're going 300 miles away for Christmas, but it helps that I'm being induced so we know what day the baby will be born.  I've neve been one to stay home after having babies, though.

mmttc

I've made it pretty clear that Im not going anywhere if LO is here by then. My parents are welcome to come over, but that is it. I'm not taking baby to our usual big family gathering and risking her getting sick from someone or making myself uncomfortable trying to find a place to breastfeed comfortably when I'm still trying to figure out how.

CKLee1107

EDD: Christmas Day.....

Family member: "So whats the plan for xmas?"

Us: "We will see...."

FM: "Well, what if ____?"

Us: *open staring* "It all depends this year.  We are being as flexible as we can at this point because our little girl (or boy if it works for you) gets to do the deciding this year."

 

Essentially we have finally bullied it into our families heads that absolutely everything is up in the air.  If I'm still pg and feeling great and the roads are okay, we will be going to both xmas eve and xmas day (both an hr drive away from my hospital).  If I'm pg and either of the other items are questionable, we are staying put.  If baby is here it REALLY depends on her and my comfort.  I'm just hoping that people don't show up on our doorstep for xmas.....we do NOT have room for either family!  eek!

GL

goldenleaves

I sent one last email to DH's family member that said "We're still really not sure about the holidays this year. It will depend on when our baby boy makes his appearance and how we're feeling afterwards! We'll definitely let you know when it gets a little closer."

That's the best they're getting at this point. I've never had a baby before so I have NO idea if we'll be up to it! (Or if LO will even be here!)

epphd

While I may end up singing a different tune after the baby arrives, at this point I am SO happy our families each leave 1000+ miles away. We are not going anywhere, and no one is coming to see us -  this is OUR holiday and OUR birth.  It's such a load off!

I would just be firm with your family and tell them that you are planning to spend the holiday alone, but if you change your mind you hope you will be welcome. I can't imagine they would not support that.

 

 

Temp6313048411121614

Our families have been very understanding.  IL's are coming over to our house on Christmas Eve (IL's have ALWAYS celebrated on Christmas Eve) and my parents, s-sis, and s-sis' bf will come over on Christmas morning (and will head back home after a few hours because they're having a big Christmas gathering at their house. 

mayowife

Christmas Eve we're going to my parents, but they live right next to the hospital and it will only be us, sister, and sister's BF. Very low key.

Christmas morning I still hope to attend a family breakfast that's 15 mins away from the hospital. Christmas night my parents are bringing over a small ham and sides so just the four (or five!) of us can have an early dinner without any work on my part. We're telling the other three sets of parents, our siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins that they can stop by any time AFTER dinner. It's very important for us to be with family on the holiday. This enables us to see everyone, if they choose to stop by, with little effort on our part. Thankfully we live near the people we care to see most, so it shouldn't be hard.