When to give up...preschool

Littlejen22

DS had a rough start to preschool, he goes 3 days a week for 2.5 hours.  He got over it in about 1.5 weeks and really loved it and loved his teachers assistant.  He did great until we went on vacation just before Halloween, he got back and the teachers assistant was out for a week and now he has a horrible time and today he was crying hysterical at home and when I dropped him off (they take them from the car).  At home he begs not to go.  I just found out his best friend (he really has 2 but likes all but 1 kid) is no longer in his class all week and maybe last week.  And he begs me and the teacher to not go outside to play but the only reason I can get is he does not like to get sand on him.  I am going to talk to them today or Monday (since it is drop off and pick up out front it is harder to do) and try to get suggestions but at what point do I just tell him to give up and try again next year...he will have 3 years before he starts kindergarten but this school I really like and next year at 3 almost 4 years old would have to be 5 part-time days because that is the only thing they offer.

I might try to actually walk him to class but I think that might make it worse...but if I am going to quit if it does not work I am not sure it matters except that his memory is great and he might remember next year.

Please offer advice.  I know he is ok once he settles down but he freaks when anyone knew comes to the classroom including the music and art teachers.  Ugh, I love the school and he is learning so much but  I really am thinking this is detrimental to him especially since he is going to bed begging not to go.

JOEBunny

Is he 2 now?  If so, I would take him out, unless you need him to have the care, so you can do things.  DD goes to mothers morning out and started at 2.5 with 1 day a week.  She had a hard time the first two months, but then started to like it.  It was only 4 hours a week though.  Her school actually has a parent volunteer who comes in the first 3 months into the 1 and 2 year old room to assist the teachers with kids who have a hard time with the transition.  Also, I would look for school type settings where you can come along.  I took my DD on days she did not have school to a library story time and to a "playgroup" that was led by a teacher at a library.  It gave DD a chance to follow directions from someone other than me and to participate in a class type setting, while still having me there.

Bride2b2004

Definitely take him out.  Since you said "next year at 3", I assume he is only 2.  That is young and not all kids are ready.  If you said he was 4, I would say work on it.

Even though he has a great memory, kids at 2 and kids at 3 (or 4) are dramatically different in terms of what they can handle, think is fun, think is scary, etc.  Regardless of what he remembers, if he is ready, it will be completely different.  However, you could always send him to a different preschool if you really think this will leave a scar (and all that much more reason to pull him out now).

Good luck!

Littlejen22

He is turning 3 next week.

wellfleet04

He's 2?  I would pull him out.  It's more important that he have a positive experience with school than that he learn anything at this age.  Preschool is all about building the foundation for a love of school, learning, etc.  If it were my kid, I wouldn't want that first experience to be negative.  I get that there is an adjustment period that you sometimes have to work through (that's how DD was with her play school....she cried for a couple of weeks at drop off) but this seems more ongoing than that.  It doesn't matter that much how much YOU like the school if HE doesn't like it, KWIM?

Angela814

I would pull him and try again next year. Going every day will probably be easier for him. I know DD did not do well when we had her in preschool 3 days/week (while I was laid off last year, so she was 2.5 yrs). 5 - 1/2 days a week was much better. Now she's back to full time since I'm working again. We still have tough drop offs, but overall it's much better. She's 3.5 yrs now.