I am so glad this board is here (long).

TommysGirl56

I was just thinking this morning how much I wished there was a PPD board on the Bump. I have needed the support and to know I am not alone for awhile now.  I will begin by telling everyone a little about my situation:

I had a complicated pregnancy.  I developed GD and pre-e and was induced at 36 weeks due to these issues. My DH of 2 years and I now have a beautiful little girl!  However, I was on a magnesium drip during and after delivery due to the pre-e, and I had a hard time bonding with my DD right away because of it.  Also, we had a rough time getting going with BFing and she lost a lot of weight.  We were visiting the doctor daily for weight checks and bilirubin levels (she was also jaundiced). She also was a colicky baby for the first 2-3 months.  Of course, all of this has resolved, but I still feel some guilt over everything because nothing happened how I envisioned it when I was newly pregnant.

DH and I bought a house shortly before DD was born, and it needs a lot of work.  I was too sick to handle it before DD's birth, and now so busy I don't feel like I ever get anything accomplished!  Our laundry has really been piling up these past couple weeks, for example.

I am working 34 hours/week, despite wishing I could be a SAHM.  My hubby is still in college.  He has classes 3 days/week and works 4 days/week.  We don't have a lot of family time or time to work on the house, to say the least.  Once he graduates and and gets a job in his chosen field, we feel I will be able to be a SAHM.  It just seems like the road to that goal is so long, and I worry that I am not living up to my expectations as a mother in the meantime.  I feel tired all the time and find it difficult to stay awake when I am home.

Well, that is about it.  I started on Zoloft 4 weeks ago and am maybe improving some.  I am interested to hear other's experiences and hopefully we can encourage one another!  Thanks for reading all this.  I feel much better just venting it all out.

madhatter2003

Hi!

We have pretty similar lives...my DH is getting his PhD and I work full time and support the family.  I'm glad you made it over here.....I know that working and feeling that pressure add whole new levels to the stress of motherhood.

He makes me crazy...

While I can't resolve the issues, I can give you some encouragement.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  No one is having these crazy expectations of you, except for you.  Goals are tough...that's why they're called goals.  It will take some time to get there so go easy on yourself.  One way to do that is to follow an acronym my therapist shared with me called. G.R.A.P.E.S.

G - be gentle with yourself (no negative self talk)

R - relax - try to do something relaxing for yourself

A - accomplishments - acknowledge your accomplishments no matter how small

P - physical activity - get up an move, even if it's just for a walk

E - enjoyment - take the time to do something you enjoy

S - social - spend a little time with people who make you happy.

I know this is all easier said than done, but when I really work on GRAPES, it helps a lot.  I hope this helps.  Best wishes.