Does anyone want to join me in discussion to TTC or not TTC #3?

shouldbworkin

I know there are a few girls here in the same boat as me. 

DS is 4 and DD is 2.5, so if we TTC #3, we would like to do it sometime after the new year so that there isn't a huge gap between #2 and #3.  At the same time, #1 and #2 are getting old enough now that I am not sure if I want to go back to the baby stages.  But, I really want another baby ... somedays (most days).  then I think about all of the things I could give #1 and #2 and how they exhaust me most days and I think that maybe we shouldn't do it.  They both already act like they don't get enough attention and they fight a lot (although this is getting better), so why add another to the mix?  But, then I see them act all sweet to their baby cousin and I think that maybe they would be great older siblings to a new baby.  They were so close in age that I don't think #1 really knew what was going on when #2 came along. 

And then I think about how crappy our schools are becoming here and that I might want to send my kids to private school, but there's no way I could do that for 3 kids.  And college too ... oy!  And we like to take vacations, nothing extravagent, but the cost of one extra plane ticket and a larger car adds up.  And, I think about how DH and I would love to take some long weekends here and there (maybe 1x a year) and it will be harder to have someone stay with 3 kids vs. 2. 

I feel selfish no matter what I chose.  I just can't reconcile this and it's all I think about these days.  I so wish I was one of those people who had two and felt done.  I envy you girls! 

No real point to my post, just want to commiserate with those who are feeling or have felt the same way. 

CubbyMama

I'm already having the same thoughts, even though we wouldn't TTC #3 for another 2-3 years, if ever.  DH thinks we're done, and sometimes I totally see the benefits of stopping here; other times, the idea of it makes me sad.  I have no idea how we'll make the decision when the time comes, unless he stays 100% sure we're done--then I guess it'll be easy, and I'll just hope to have some nieces and nephews by then to cure my baby fever!

cuwife

I feel the same way. We are thinking about TTC this upcoming fall. A part of me thinks we are blessed to have 2 healthy children, a boy and girl and we should be happy and just leave it as is. Another part of me doesn't feel our family is "complete" yet. I like the idea of a bigger family. We both came from only having one sibling so we both like the idea of more kids. Everytime I see a baby I want one but not sure I want to "start over" if you know what I mean. We just got done with bottles and are working on diapers this winter. They are both STTN and in the same size diaper, everything just got easier. I can feel your confusion!

shouldbworkin

Here is the crazy thing - DH was talking about #3 since before #2 was born and I was the one that was saying "no way!"  Now I think I want #3 more than he does. 

We're all done with diapers and everyone is STTN too, so that makes it hard as well.  Athough, I think it will be easier to have a baby when the other two are STTN.  Two kids not sleeing almost killed me last time.  I have no idea how I'll manage to take care of 3 kids on broken sleep, though. 

npeacock

I can relate! Since DD was born, DH has completely backed off even thinking about #3. We always talked about 3 kids before we had #2. I kind of resent his attitude about it because I feel like I would have done things differently with my pregnancy and the baby stages with #1 and #2, if I knew there would never be a #3 (not that you are guaranteed anything in life). In fact, he made another comment last night about how crazy things are with 2, that he cannot imagine having a third.

*sigh* IDK. It's such a hard decision, and I think that only you and your DH can really know if it's right or not to go for #3. I don't think your reasons for or against are selfish, either. Good for you for thinking it through both ways. GL!

shouldbworkin

npeacock:

II feel like I would have done things differently with my pregnancy and the baby stages with #1 and #2, if I knew there would never be a #3 (not that you are guaranteed anything in life).

ITA with this!  DH wanted us to have our kids close together and I would have had them farther apart if I knew we were done at 2. 

sunshiny79

I could have written this post word for word.

In addition to all of that I feel a litte cheated b/c I got pg so quickly after our first (Gavyn was 4 months old when I got pg).  I feel like I never had a chance to really enjoy the pregnancy with Aidan and I had no idea that he could potentially be our last.

We are going to talk more about ttc around mid 2010.  Our big problem right now is a vehicle big enough for 3 car seats.  

I really feel I'm not done right now.  I can honestly say that no matter what, financially, I will be done at 3.

suzymarie

I haven't even birthed #2 and I am already so torn.

The money is a huge thing.  And I hate being pg.  And I can't wait to be done with the baby stage and have all "big kids" who we can take places like to a museum or a movie.

But I also want to have 3 kids!  It just seems like the right number. 

nettie

This is late but I feel the exact same way-my family does not feel complete but I don't know that I have the energy either to do it right. Do any of you have your age playing into it? I am turning 35 this year and I really wanted to be done by then..it makes me feel more frantic about making a decision.

shouldbworkin

nettie:

This is late but I feel the exact same way-my family does not feel complete but I don't know that I have the energy either to do it right. Do any of you have your age playing into it? I am turning 35 this year and I really wanted to be done by then..it makes me feel more frantic about making a decision.

Yep, I'm 35 already, so it plays into it big time.  If we TTC when we're planning, I will be 36 when #3 is born.  I never thought I'd have a child at 36, much less later than that.