Late Loss/Stillbirth/Infant Loss Check-in

MSC03

This is a weekly check-in for women who have experienced a Stillbirth / Late Loss / or Infant Loss.   Anyone who has experienced this type of loss is welcome to join no matter if they are taking a break, TTC, currently PG, or have delivered a healthy baby.  If you would like to be added to this list, please private message me with your information (see format in listings below).  Thanks. 1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.) 2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up? 3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays? 4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group? These are the groups that I've divided them into, in alphabetical order. Some losses are listed in more than one category: Cervix issues, Chromosomal disorders/trisomy, Cord issues, Downs Syndrome, Heart defects, HELLP, Infant loss, infection, Kidney issues/Potters sequence,  miscellaneous, Organ issues, placenta issues, pre-eclampsia, Spinal bifida/brain/neural tube defects, stillbirth, tripoidy, Turners Syndrome, twin loss, unknown reasons.   Cervix issues Nest Name: bride2003
Real Name: Sheila
Angel Info: Steven Joseph delivered at home at 19 weeks on April 10, 2007 due to cervical problems unknown until day of delivery.  August 2007 I traveled to Chicago to have TAC (transabdominal cerclage) permanently placed around my cervix to fix the problem.  M/C February 10, 2008 at 6.5 weeks. Nest Name: Di&Roddy
Real Name: Diane, but goes by Di
Angel Info: Rachel Marie was born August 20, 2006, at 20w3d, as a result of an incompetent cervix.
SAL: Hayden McKenna Nest Name: lauracg (formerly lmwVA)
Real Name: Laura
Angel Info: Baby angel Mary was born on March 8, 2007 ~ 22 weeks due to blood clot and placental abruption.  M/C February 16, 2008 ~ 9 weeks.  Baby angel Richard was born September 27, 2008 ~ 20 weeks as a result of an incompetent cervix. Nest Name: whitedress
Real Name: Sara
Angel Info: I lost my first DD (Jenna Nicole) at 24 weeks due to pprom and lost my 3rd child despite a cercleage at 12 weeks, water broke at 18 weeks and the baby was born the next day.
SAL: I got pregnant 3 mo. after my first loss, cercleage, over a month of hospital bedrest, ptl, strict home bedrest, p-17 shots, peri twice a week, OB once a week... water leaking at 30 weeks, miracle baby at 33.6 weeks. Nest Name: imyanda21
Real Name: Louann
Angel Info: Gabrielle was 20w4d, she became and angel because of an incompetent cervix. Nest Name: loverswife
Angel info: Baby Erick left us on May 22 2004 at 19 weeks due to an undiagnosed incompetent cervix.
Baby Christian left us on  December 7, 2005  at 21 weeks due to incompetent cervix. I am currently TTC!! I am optimistic and will never give up on being a mother!!! Nest Name: Echloe
Real Name: Betsy
Angel Info: My baby girl Lydia Rose born sleeping at 21w2d due to incompetent cervix on April 26th 2009 Nest Name: SoHappy24
Angel Info: Baby boy born at 15w2d on April 18, 2009 due to an incompetent cervix.     Chromosome issues/Trisomy Nest Name:JennyTom
Real Name(optional)Jennifer
Angel info: BFP 2/13/08 - Terminated due to T21 4/24/08  Alia Jane
                BFP 3/2/09  - Found out at 20 week appt there was no heartbeat.  Induced and delivered after 60 hours on 6/27/09.  Ella Patrice
                BFP 9/8/09 - Chemical Pregnancy 9/14/09 Nest Name: CoriNGreg06
Real Name: Cori
Angel Info: Lost sweet baby girl November 2006at 17w3ddue to trisomy 18, and a big hole in her heart. Natural M/C March 2008, Blighted Ovum July 2007
SAL: Ava Claire, born April 17, 2008.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in November 2009. Nest Name: vml14
Real Name: Vicki
Angel Info: Valerie Ann was born too early at 21 weeks on May 28, 2008.  She had Trisomy 18.
SAL: Alexa Marie was born in September 2009. Nest Name: rcote13
Real Name: rebecca
Angel Info: our baby was lost to us on june 22, 2009.  he had holoprosencephaly due to trisomy 13.  we were 22 weeks pg and had a D&E.  we couldn't bring ourselves to name him.  not that we didn't love him as a person, but it was too painful to remind us of all the potentials that were lost.  Nest Name: AB&TB (formerly tinablatchford while pg with my first)
Real Name: Tina
Angel Info: Our son was confirmed missed M/C at 18w2d.  He passed due to a ringed 18th chromosome.  Chemical pregnancy 5/09.
SAL: Lincoln Christopher, born July 19, 2008. Currently pregnant and due in March 2010
 
Nest Name: outofcntrl82
Real Name: Rhonda
Angel Info: Baby boy had a very rare chromosomal disorder ? a partial deletion on chromosome 21 as well as a partial trisomy of chromosome 4 attached to chromosome 21.  Our baby died on March 24, 2008 and was delivered on March 26. Nest Name: matkinson08 Real Name: Michelle Angel info:  John Matthew was born Feb 26, '09 with DiGeorge Syndrome (micro deletion of the 22 chromosome) that resulted in a severe heart defect, lung issues and immune deficiencies.  We knew about this from my big US but pushed forward and prayed for the best.  He was born healthy, but had many complications following his first heart surgery at 12 days old.  He lived a beautiful 7 months and 2 days before we made the ultimate sacrifice and turned off his life support.  He was everything I never I knew I needed.

 

Cord Accidents

Nest Name: stacey2005
Real Name: Stacey
Angel Info: Spencer Allen, March 8, 2007, at 17w5d.  We believe it was a cord accident.

Nest Name: BeachBride72106
Real Name: Sarah
Angel Info: Wyatt George was stillborn May 11, 2008 at 32 weeks.  We think it was a cord accident.  We have since learned that I am heterozygous Factor V Leiden.
SAL: September 11, Wesley David, 10lbs. 1 oz.

Nest Name: Copswife05
Real Name: Lisa
Angel Info: I was 39 weeks when we lost our baby boy, James Andrew on November 26, 2008, due to a true knot in this umbilical cord.  He was delivered by c-section weighing 9lbs 10oz. and 22 inches.

Nest Name: Chris'sgrl
Real Name: Michelle
Angel Info: We lost our beautiful girl Kaitlyn Rose on January 17, 2009 at 24 weeks.  The MW was unable to find a heartbeat at our appointment and 2 u/s confirmed that baby had passed away.  I was induced the following day and day after that, I gave birth to Kaitlyn.  At this point the OB believes that it was due to velamentous cord insertion.

Nest Name: sydney0928
Angel Info: Ava was born still on July 30, 2009. On July 26 we went to the hospital due to lack of movement. Her heart had already stopped beating. I was induced and labored for almost 4 days. She was born at 5 am, weighed 3 lbs 13 oz, and was 17 inches long. She was beautiful with lots of dark hair. We don't know the cause of her death, possibly a cord accident. Found out I have an Antithrombin deficiency, but doctors think it did not affect my pregnancy. 

Nest Name: Elybride
Real Name: Stacy
Angel Info: I went in for my regular prenatal appointment at 19 1/2 weeks looking forward to scheduling our "big ultrasound" for the following week where we would find out what the baby was.  Unfortunately my doctor couldn't find the baby's heartbeat and an ultrasound confirmed our worst fears that they baby was no longer with us.  I was induced and our beautiful baby girl, Brady Marie, was born on 4/10/09.  All of the tests have come back showing everything was fine and she had no chromosomal abnormalities.  My doctor did say that her cord was wrapped twice around her neck & 3 times around her arm so this may or may not have been what caused her death.  We also had 2 m/c one on 7/3/06 and one this past summer on 8/1/08.
SAL: Blake born August 2007.

Nest Name: Lewis514
Real Name: Mel
Angel Info: I was pregnant with twin girls. At our BPP on April 8th (36w5d), they noticed cord resistance with our Baby Chloe. We went in for an induction that night and lost baby Chloe about 8 hours into induction; her HR just disappeared off the monitor and never returned. Her body and cord did not have the reserves to tolerate labor, leading all to feel that there was an underlying issue that could not be detected.   We then had a c section and our Kira was born at 6 lbs 1 oz. Chloe was born 3 minutes later at 4 lbs 10 oz. Our true belief is that Chloe struggled and held on for as long as she could to get Kira to 37 weeks and give her the best chance possible and keep her out of the NICU.

Nest Name: shihtzumomma
Real Name: Alice
Angel Info: On February 4, 2009 we went for our 20 week u/s.  They found not heartbeat (we heard a perfect heartbeat 2 weeks before).  I was induced on February 6th and our son Dylan Thomas was born on February 7, 2009 at 10:20 pm.  I was exactly 21 weeks the day of delivery.  He passed away from a twisted umbilical cord.

Nest name:  lisamarie04

Real name:  Lisa

Angel info:  Daren born sleeping on 6/29/09 because of a cord accident at 36 weeks after a completely healthy/normal pregnancy.  I noticed that he hadn't been moving and we went to the hospital to learn that he no longer had a heartbeat.  The cord was wrapped tightly around his neck twice.

 

Downs Syndrome

Nest Name: A&J06
Angel Info: Her heart stopped beating at 23 weeks May 6th, 2008.  She was diagnosed with down syndrome, echogenic heart, lungs, and bowel.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in July 2009.

Nest Name: baughnfire
Real Name: Carrie
Angel Info: I had a D&E on August 8, 2008.  I was 19w4d along, baby died around 18 weeks.  Baby had Down Syndrome and we chose not to find out the sex.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in October 2009.

 

 

Heart defects

Nest Name: DNK777
Real Name: Kristen
Angel Info: Joshua David (JD) was born still January 2, 2004 due to a heart defect.  We found out about the heart defect at 22 weeks, lost him at 23 weeks, and found out and was induced at 24 weeks.  We started ttc again in December 2005.  We went on to have 2 early m/cs in October 2007 and May 2008.
SAL: Lilliana Jean was born April 4, 2009 and is doing great.

Nest Name: Mommy2anangel (formerly amykbride)
Real Name: Amy
Angel Info: Nathaniel Martin born still at 21w5d on June 22, 2007.  He was diagnosed at our 20 week U/S with Giant Omphalocele (abdominal wall defect) and a heart defect.  M/C at 7w4d in January 2007.
SAL: Natalie Grace, born January 21, 2009

Nest Name: mmsgal
Real Name: Nicole
Angel Info: Abigail Rose was born July 19, 2007 and lived 20 hours on complete life support before passing away July 20.  She had HLPS (hypoplastic left heart syndrome) and many other small defects.
SAL: Oliver born June 2008.

Nest Name:  julesverne
Real Name: Julia
Angel Info: Jack Steward was born at 34 weeks January 16, 2008.  He died January 25 due to complications of having Ebstein?s Anomaly (heart defect).
SAL: Olivia was born October, 12, 2009

Nest Name: A&J06
Angel Info: Her heart stopped beating at 23 weeks May 6th, 2008.  She was diagnosed with down syndrome, echogenic heart, lungs, and bowel.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in July 2009.

 

HELLP Syndrome

Nest Name: sGuitaristsGirl
Real Name: Beth
Angel Info: I developed sever HELLP Syndrome, and delivered twins, a boy and a girl, on November 12, 2008 at 19w4d.

Nest Name: tryingforbabyL
Real Name: Jaclyn
Angel info:  Hope was born on July 1, 2009 at 22 weeks due to severe preeclampsia and HELLP.  By my LMP/charting I should have been about 24 weeks, but Hope measured amall the entire pregnancy.  Hope survived almost 2 hours. 

Nest Name: Cruisebride1208
Real Name: Ashley
Angel Info: On 6.8.09 our little fighter Nolan Michael was born via emergency c-section at 26 weeks and 1 day due to Pre-E and HELLP. He was diagnosed with severe IUGR at 20 weeks. He was 13oz and 10.5inches. He fought for 3 days in the NICU and had to give up his fight to go to Heaven. My case has baffled Dr's and we are still waiting for answers. To read Nolan's story, visit www.rubybaby09.blogspot.com

 

Infant loss

Nest Name: Mia07
Real Name: Natalie
Angel Info: We lost our precious daughter, Sophia Elaine, at 4months old to SIDS January 7, 2009 on my 2nd day back at work, her 2nd day at daycare. She was born September 4, 2008.

Nest Name: Babes12
Real Name: Melissa
Angel Info: Wyatt Alexander was born via emergency c/s (breech) on June 13th 2009 at 4:53am, weight 3lbs9oz and 15in.  had abnormal blood work during the sequential screen (1/180 risk of down syndrome) no markers were found during level II u/s.  went for level II growth u/s at 32wk and was admitted to hospital due to low amniotic fluid, only there 2 days when I went into labor.  Wyatt had many issues, a right lung that wouldn't inflate, a punctured left lung, trachia/esophogus not attached and many other little complications.  Sadly while nurses were adjusting his breathing tubes he coded and never came back.  he passed away on June 14 2009 @ 12:22am.  Cause of all his issues is still unknown, waiting for results of skin biopsy.

Nest Name: matkinson08

Real Name: Michelle

Angel info:  John Matthew was born Feb 26, '09 with DiGeorge Syndrome (micro deletion of the 22 chromosome) that resulted in a severe heart defect, lung issues and immune deficiencies.  We knew about this from my big US but pushed forward and prayed for the best.  He was born healthy, but had many complications following his first heart surgery at 12 days old.  He lived a beautiful 7 months and 2 days before we made the ultimate sacrifice and turned off his life support.  He was everything I never I knew I needed.

 

Infection

Nest Name:CarrieLeigh84
Real name is Carrie
Angel Info: Our darling angel was born at 23w6d on Sept 22, 2008. I lost her due to an infection of the amniotic sac, or at least that's my dr's best guess. Currently trying to have another, however I recently discovered that I'm not ovulating.

Nest Name: goruncole
Real Name: Nicole
Angel Info: Cole, lost at 17 weeks on March 27, 2009  and Cate lost at 19 weeks, April 11, 2009  due to ecoli infection. 

Nest Name: Cowgirl
Real Name: Lynn
Angel Info: Grace Amber born March 24, 2009 due to uterine infection, water broke at 18 wks and she was born after 10 hours of labor.  She lived for 4 1/2 short hours but will always be remembered in our hearts.
BFP first appt Oct. 5th

 

Kidney issues/Potters Sequence

Nest Name: Hemb
Real Name: Kara
Angel Info: Our daughter, Hailee Eileen was born on July 8, 2008 @ 21w3d due to bilateral renal agenisis.

Nest Name: JEOZ
Real Name: Julia
Angel info:  Mia Elizabeth was born on August 19, 2008 at 36 weeks.  She died 31 hours later on August 20.  She died from lung complications which was due to Autosommal Recessive Polycystic Kidney Disease.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in December 2009.

Nest Name: MrsSummitCounty
Real Name: Meghan
Angel Info: At our gender ultrasound, it was discovered that our baby had classic Potters sequence (also known as bilateral renal agenesis--no amniotic fluid, no kidneys, no bladder, etc). The condition isn't genetic, preventable, or treatable and totally fatal. We decided to let her go rather than die constricted in a uterus that could not expand. On Aug. 29, 2009 we had a beautiful, peaceful little girl that we named Jude.

Nest Name: CRS30
Real Name: Camie
Angel Info: My husband and I were told on Thursday 4/2/2009 that our baby most likely had autosomal recessive polycystic kidney disease due to the fact that upon my 26 week appt I told the doctor I didn't have a lot of movement. She had me go for an ultrasound to be sure all was ok and I could barely see her on the screen which meant I had very little amniotic fluid. We went to see a High Risk OB in Boston the next morning and she confirmed everything. I delivered her to heaven a week later on 4/10/2009.

Nest Name: ToraDales
Real Name: Victoria
Angel Info: Stryker was born on October 9, 2007 at 37 weeks, his kidneys weren?t working and they were 3 times the size they should have been, because of that his lungs did not have the room they needed to grow.

 

Miscellaneous

Nest Name: roxyttandme
Real Name: Elizabeth
Angel Info: We found out our daughter had amnotic band syndrome at 23w 5d and all four limbs were affected. The bands were so band - they were nautally amputating her leg(s). Instead of allowing our loved daughter to endure that suffering and pain, I had a KLC and terminated the pregnancy. I was induced the next day, had a placental abruption and bled out. The baby was born and I recovered. She passed away on Thursday, August 13th, 2009- and was born the next day.

Nest Name: krate24
Real Name: Jessica
Angel Info: Heather Ann was born January 26, 2009 at 27w2d.  She was stillborn.  Still waiting for the results of the placental pathology and autopsy.  Not sure what caused this, but I had severe IUGR, the placenta was full of blood clots, amniotic fluid was almost non-existent by the end, and there were anomalies with the blood flow in the cord/baby.  Discovered uterine septum that probably caused most, if not all, of the issues.

Nest Name: jleedy
Angel Info: Delane was on March 10,2009.  We were able to spend 3 short hours with him before he went on to become and angel.  Doctors believe he had a rare disorder called Prune Belly Syndrome, which has no known cause and was what they called "a fluke."

Nest Name: mmcrocker
Real Name: Amanda
Angel Info: Discovered M/C of Baby Crocker at 18w1d due to Protein S Deficiency.
SAL: Taylor, April 2009.

Nest Name: ECUpirate04
Angel Info: Our daughter Megan Grace was born 6/29/2009 and lived 10 short minutes before going to take her spot as an angel in Heaven.  We are so very proud of her. Diagnosed with osteogenesis Type 2 (brittle bone disease) which is a form of skeletal dysplasia (which is a form of dwarfism.) 

 

 

Organ defects

Nest Name: Coolteacher79
Real Name: Stacy
Angel Info: Isaac Timothy was born at 36w2d on October 7, 2008.  He lived for 16 minutes before doing home to be with Jesus.  His diagnosis is a rare sequence of giant omphalocele, kyphoscoliosis, and hypoplastic lungs.  M/C in October 2007.

Nest Name: 3ltlones
Real Name: Tracy
Angel Info:
- We lost one baby at 8 weeks July 16, 2006
- We lost our daughter, Zoe Eliana at 16 weeks 4 days.  I went in for a routine appt and found that there was no longer a heartbeat.  I had a D&E and we lost our little girl on May 19, 2009, the pathology report came back no chromosone abnormalaties, but it looked as though her organs were too small for her little body.
- BFP 8/12/09 pregnancy started out with two sacs, first u/s showed no heartbeats, second u/s showed one heartbeat and the other sac had no heartbeat, also showed a subchronic hemorrhage, 3rd u/s showed there was no longer a heartbeat in either sac, natural miscarriage at 7wks 4days 9/13/09

 

Placenta abruption/previa

Nest Name: lauracg (formerly lmwVA)
Real Name: Laura
Angel Info: Baby angel Mary was born on March 8, 2007 ~ 22 weeks due to blood clot and placental abruption.  M/C February 16, 2008 ~ 9 weeks.  Baby angel Richard was born September 27, 2008 ~ 20 weeks as a result of an incompetent cervix.

Nest Name: AmberL
Real Name: Amber
Angel Info: Joshua Nicholas was born at 18w3d on December 25, 2007 due to a placental abruption.  M/C 5-19-2004 at 6 weeks. M/C 5/2008.
SAL: Baby Born March 2009.

Nest Name: Nikki731
Real Name: Nicole
Angel Info: I delivered my baby girl on March 2, 2008 at 18w5d.  I had placenta previa at 9 weeks.

Nest Name: emdaly
Real Name: Elisa
Angel Info: Caroline Rose, heart stopped on March 3, 2008.  I had a D&E on March 5, 2008.  She was 26 weeks but measured 23 weeks due to placental insufficiency.
SAL: Emma Grace, April 2009.

Nest Name: Schmoodle
Real Name: Kathy
Angel Info: We lost our twin Doodles at 23w3d.  They were born premature due to a placental abruption on March 25, 2008.
SAL: Judah Michael, June 2009.

Nest Name: irishmama13
Real Name: Kelli
Angel Info: Erickson Thomas Gunner born on July 23, 2008 at 31 weeks.  Stillborn due to placental abruption / pre-eclampsia.

Nest Name: GenStarK (formerly GenesisStar)
Real Name: Patricia
Angel Info: I gave birth to a handsome little boy named Christian James.  I had a placental abruption at 15w2d.  Christian was born alive and healthy for about 1-2 mins.  They think the reason for the abruption was I have PCOS and it can cause the egg to drop to low and he implanted in a weak/thin area of my uterus.  We had been TTC for 6 years before I got pg and I so proud to be his mommy even though he is in heaven.  I know he is always by my side protecting me and giving me angel kisses.
SAL: Wyatt, born June 2009 at 26 weeks.

Nest Name: beckastar
Angel Info: Gabriella Marie, born at 27 weeks on October 12, 2008 weighing 1lb 1oz due to placental insufficiency and IUGR, passed away on November 27, 2008.

Nest Name: MrsShrek1028
Angel Info: I was pg and McKenzie Lee was born still on 4/15/09 via emergency c-section at 32w6d due to uterine rupture and placental abruption. she weighed in at 4lbs9oz and was 18in long.

 

Pre-eclampsia (severe)

Nest Name: YukonC
Real Name: Jen
Angel Info: Delivered DD at 19 weeks on June 29, 2007 due to sever pre-eclampsia.  M/C July 2008.
SAL: Alison Leigh, born April 17, 2009

Nest Name: ARCO7
Real Name: Ashley
Angel Info: Madelyn Grace stillborn at 22 weeks due to severe preeclampsia. 
Early M/C July 2008 at 5 weeks.
SAL:  Baby boy, May 2009

Nest Name: irishmama13
Real Name: Kelli
Angel Info: Erickson Thomas Gunner born on July 23, 2008 at 31 weeks.  Stillborn due to placental abruption / pre-eclampsia.

Nest Name: Delta_Diva
Angel Info: Joshua was stillborn on August 17, 2008 due to me having severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome.  He was almost 22 weeks.
SAL: Healthy baby girl on August 7th, 2009, Olivia Rose.

Nest Name: tryingforbabyL
Real Name: Jaclyn
Angel info:  Hope was born on July 1, 2009 at 22 weeks due to severe preeclampsia and HELLP.  By my LMP/charting I should have been about 24 weeks, but Hope measured amall the entire pregnancy.  Hope survived almost 2 hours. 

Nest Name: Cruisebride1208
Real Name: Ashley
Angel Info: On 6.8.09 our little fighter Nolan Michael was born via emergency c-section at 26 weeks and 1 day due to Pre-E and HELLP. He was diagnosed with severe IUGR at 20 weeks. He was 13oz and 10.5inches. He fought for 3 days in the NICU and had to give up his fight to go to Heaven. My case has baffled Dr's and we are still waiting for answers. To read Nolan's story, visit www.rubybaby09.blogspot.com

Nest name: MommaRed83

Real Name: Amanda

Angel Info:*Nathan, Miscarriage August 23rd 1997, 18wks; *Madeline, Miscarriage July 23rd 2008, 10wks with D&C; *Alexis Louise and Izabella Lynne Still Born at 23 weeks from severe Pre-eclampcia  (sp) April 13th 2009 with D&C after; *My Little Chalupa Miscarriage August 19th 2009, guessing around 8wks

Preterm Labor:

Bump Name: andrea z

Angel info: My water broke at 19.5 weeks.  After three weeks on bedrest, I went into labor at 23 weeks on September 13th 2009.  The doctors tried to stop it, but the boys were born 7 minutes apart 4 hours after my first contraction.  Jacob lived for 11 minutes before passing away.  Ethan went to the NICU and fought like crazy for 36 hours.  He passed away from a large airpocket that was putting pressure on his heart.  Here is our blog with the full story  https://zimmermannupdates.blogspot.com/2009/09/update.html

 

Spina Bifida/Neural Tube defects/anacepholy/Brain issues
Nest Name: travelbug
Real Name: Bridget
Angel Info: Ciara Grace ? D&E on April 12, 2007.  She had passed due to complications of Spina Bifida.
SAL: Siobhan, born September 2008.

Nest Name: DebbieMC
Real Name: Debbie
Angel Info: On March 30, 2009, at my big US, we found out that our baby had many problems. The cause of the problems is Neural Tube Defect (Spina Bifida). Her spina bifida was so bad that it caused her brain to be pulled toward her spine. There would be no life for our baby girl.  Five days later we had a D&E. I was almost 21 weeks pregnant. I wish that I delivered her rather then had the D&E. I would have loved to had held her in my arms for just one minute. We did choose to have our baby girl cremated. We are still trying to decided exactly what we will do with her ashes. God Bless my baby girl Kira Elizabeth.

Nest Name: qsuziez
Real Name: Susan
Angel Info: W delivered our baby boy at 20w2d due to a neural tube defect called Anencephaly.  We found out that he wouldn't survive and were induced that weekend.  He is missed every day.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in October 2009.

Nest Name: Candlcrazee
Real Name: Tammi
Angel Info: I lost my baby girl Lucianna on May 29, 2009 at 22weeks 6 days. We found out the week before that she had a gap in the center of the brain, that didn't connect the right and the left side. We were told she had no brain activity and wouldn't survive the pregnancy.

Nest Name: spldbrt
Real Name: Jen
Angel Info: On March 3rd, 2009 at my u/s the doctor discovered that my baby had a neural tube defect anacepholy so we decided to do a D&E.  I found out through research that a lot of times it's caused when the woman has too low folic acid at the time of conception so I'm now on 4 mg folic acid.  We didn't find out the sex of the baby because it was too painful.  We will start trying again once my first AF shows up.

 

Stillborn

Nest Name: STLBride_2_Be
Real Name: Amanda
Angle Info: Addison was stillborn on March 21, 2007 at 24w5d.  We also had a M/C in July 2007 and October 2007.
SAL: Jocelyn Elizabeth , born February 6, 2009.

Nest Name: BabyLoveBug
Angel Info: My daughter passed away while I was 41w3d (2 days shy of induction) November 11, 2007.
SAL:  Ava, born December 22, 2008.

Nest Name: pawleygirl
Real Name: Kristy
Angel Info: I was pregnant with twins. When I was 21 weeks, 3 days pregnant, on Valentine's Day 2008, I went to the OB for a regular appointment and they could only find one heartbeat. Ultrasound confirmed that our little girl had passed away. I continued to carry her for the next 4 months while her brother grew and happily (and sadly) our son was born healthy and I also delivered our stillborn daughter. We never found out what happened to her. I've handled it pretty well until recently.... now Valentine's Day is coming up again and I've been a basket case.... wanting to celebrate our son's first valentine's day but not being able to bring myself to even think about celebrating on such a horrible day!
SAL: JD born June 2008
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in January 2010.

Nest Name: Loops925
Real Name: Lupe
Angel Info: Our baby boy?s name was Jordan, at 41w4d I was induced.  Dr. broke my water and discovered meconium.  I had an emergency C/S 10 hrs later when my baby?s H/B stopped.  He was born still at 8:40 am on February 17, 2008.  Autopsy results confirmed that his lungs were full of meconium which caused him to not be able to breathe.
SAL: Boy born May 24, 2009.

Nest Name: Msnelson32
Real Name: Tyra
Angel Info: We discovered our baby girl wasn't moving and had died on September 29, 2007 a week and a half before her due date. We said hello and goodbye to Micah Eva on October 1, 2007 and are still in the dark as to why she was taken from us .. On all accounts they cannot find any reason
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in August 2009.

Nest Name: MRSBELLALEE
Real Name: Debbie
Angel Info: Chloe Eva was born on September 12, 2008 at 31w4d.

 

Tripoidy

Nest Name: ocean75106 (formerly kroach34)
Angel Info: We lost Ava to triploidy at 19 ? weeks on January 25, 2008.
SAL:  Emma, born January 2009.

Nest Name: julybaby09
Real Name: Brandi
Angel Info: Lost beautiful baby boy February 18, 2009 at 19 weeks due to Triploidy.

 

Turners Syndrome

Nest Name: cpsocal
Real Name: Christa
Angel Info: Leilani was lost August 14, 2007 at 18w3d due to Turners Syndrome.

Nest Name: kxland
Angel Info: Brook Aubrey, November 22, 2006, 22weeks.  My daughter had Turners Syndrome.  M/C in March 2008
SAL: Health boy, born January 3, 2009.

Nest Name: Tams148
Real Name: Tammy
Angel Info: Grace Elizabeth, born at 21 weeks, February 27, 2008, suspected Turners Syndrome, but testing results still aren?t back.  She was diagnosed at our 18 week U/S with hydrops, and died at 19 weeks.
SAL: Dane, born March 2009

Nest Name: 450bnb
Real Name: Beth
Angel Info: Makenna Grace was born on March 5, 2008 and went to heaven on March 6, 2008.  She had hydrops brought on by Turner Syndrome that had to be identified through and autopsy.

Nest Name: boghill
Angel Info: Baby girl was born at 20 weeks; autopsy showed she had Turners Syndrome, found at our 20 week U/S that something was wrong.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in June 2009.

Nest Name: mrskilbride
Angel Info: Baby Kendall, October 21, 2008, 17 weeks.  Likely Turners Syndrome, very large cystic hygroma and hydropic seen on 16 week u/s...all normal till that point...m/c at 8 weeks in 1997.
Successful pregnancies: Savannah Mae, born December 1998 and C.J., born October 2001.

Nest Name: Jinjur71
Real Name: Ginger
Angel Info: Found no heartbeat while at the dr for my regular check up (21 weeks) was in total shock since I had been feeling the baby move just a day or so before.  They induced me on (same day as my dr apt) Feb 13 09 and I delivered a girl on Valentine's day.  They think she had Turner Syndrome.   She was our firstborn and will always be loved and missed.

 

Twin loss

Nest Name: ChelM1216
Real Name: Michele
Angel Info: Gwyniviere Emlyn and Onara Casidhe, miscarriage was discovered on February 2, 2008 and our girls were delivered on February 7, 2008.  Unknown cause for M/C.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting a boy in September 2009.

Nest Name: pawleygirl
Real Name: Kristy
Angel Info: I was pregnant with twins. When I was 21 weeks, 3 days pregnant, on Valentine's Day 2008, I went to the OB for a regular appointment and they could only find one heartbeat. Ultrasound confirmed that our little girl had passed away. I continued to carry her for the next 4 months while her brother grew and happily (and sadly) our son was born healthy and I also delivered our stillborn daughter. We never found out what happened to her. I've handled it pretty well until recently.... now Valentine's Day is coming up again and I've been a basket case.... wanting to celebrate our son's first valentine's day but not being able to bring myself to even think about celebrating on such a horrible day!
SAL: JD born June 2008
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in January 2010.

Nest Name: Rossi17
Real Name: Rosemaria
Angel Info: Twin Boys lost at 18.5 weeks on March 2nd and 3rd, 2008.  I had been bleeding on and off throughout the pregnancy.  Even though I had an u/s at 11:30 am on the day everything happened, my doctor sent me on my merry way even though I complained of pain.  At 2:30 pm, my water broke.  Duncan Francisco was born at 8:30 pm (still, but at that point, it still is considered a mc) and Draven Lauritz was born alive at 2:30 am on March 3rd.  He lived for 20 minutes.  BO at 6w in April 2007.
SAL: Currently PG with a girl and expecting in July 2009.

Nest Name: Schmoodle
Real Name: Kathy
Angel Info: We lost our twin Doodles at 23w3d.  They were born premature due to a placental abruption on March 25, 2008.
SAL: Judah Michael, June 2009.

Nest Name: here4u
Angel Info: Twin B lost at 21w3d.

Nest Name: sGuitaristsGirl
Real Name: Beth
Angel Info: I developed sever HELLP Syndrome, and delivered twins, a boy and a girl, on November 12, 2008 at 19w4d.

Nest Name: Sliz
Real Name: Sharon
Angel Info: We lost our twins on January 2, 2009 at 16.5 weeks.  I had been bleeding for 4 weeks but the hematoma was nearly gone and my darlings looked great.  On New Year's Day I felt what I thought were false contractions and "normal" cramps.  The next morning my water broke on one twin and I delivered my sweet babies later that day.

Nest Name: schen0510
Real Name:  Sandra
Angel Info:  After 5 IUIs, and 2 IVFs, 1 previous miscarriage at 9 weeks via D&C, our 2 boys were going strong.  At 19w 1day I had major cramping and was immediately rushed to the hospital where my water broke and my first little boy was delivered on 09/02/09.  Amazingly, my second little boy was hanging in there.  On 09/04/09 at 19w 3d, my contractions started again and my second little boy was delivered 2 short hours before I was scheduled to be stitched.  As of now, the reason is unknown.  We are hoping for some answers in the upcoming weeks.   

Nest Name: Holanchi
Real name:  Holly
Angel info:  lost our boy/girl twins, Ian and Aubrey, at 22w3d due to IC/PTL.  My cervix started shortening at 19 weeks, but they were not able to successfully place a cerclage.  Went to L&D at 22w2d with some spotting and found that I was 2-3 centimeters dilated.  They found that I was having contractions that I couldn't feel and put me on medication to stop them, but my water ended up breaking.  We lost our babies on July 25, 2009.  Waiting for the OK to start TTC again.

Nest Name: KAG 30
Real Name: Kathy
Angel info: Lost daughters Samantha Ayla and Madison Cole at 37 weeks 7/2/09.  Woke up in the AM and thought it was weird that the girls weren't moving yet, had an ultrasound scheduled already for that morning.  Went to the ultrasound to get the worst news ever, both girls h/b had stopped overnight.  Went to the hospital to be induced and deliver the girls. 

Nest Name: shawn&tony
Real Name: Shawn
Angel Info: Twin Boys went to heaven at 18w6d December 21, 2008. natural m/c.

Nest Name: vkbaby09
Real Name: Valerie
Angel Info: After a complicated pregnancy in which I bled for the last 5 weeks of it (for no known reason), at 22w5d, I delivered my twin boys due to no fluid and preterm labor.  Ian Richard (1lb 1oz, 11.5in) was born breech and still at 4:16am (he died during labor/delivery) and Colin Patrick (1lb 4oz, 11.5in) was born at 4:44am on June 28, 2009.  Colin lived for a little over an hour.

Nest Name: 3ltlones
Real Name: Tracy
Angel Info:
- We lost one baby at 8 weeks July 16, 2006
- We lost our daughter, Zoe Eliana at 16 weeks 4 days.  I went in for a routine appt and found that there was no longer a heartbeat.  I had a D&E and we lost our little girl on May 19, 2009, the pathology report came back no chromosone abnormalaties, but it looked as though her organs were too small for her little body.
- BFP 8/12/09 pregnancy started out with two sacs, first u/s showed no heartbeats, second u/s showed one heartbeat and the other sac had no heartbeat, also showed a subchronic hemorrhage, 3rd u/s showed there was no longer a heartbeat in either sac, natural miscarriage at 7wks 4days 9/13/09

Nest Name: laurncui812.0
Real Name: Laurn
Angel Info: I was 32 weeks 5 days pregnant with identical twin boys when I went in for a regular check up and found out that one of the boys had no heart beat. I delivered our survivor Cole at 34 weeks on April 22, 2009 (7lbs 6oz 19 3/4 inches) and his brother Caleb (5lbs 17 inches) was deliver to heaven. There is currently no known reason for Caleb's death.
SAL: Cole born April 2009.

Nest Name: Lewis514
Real Name: Mel
Angel Info: I was pregnant with twin girls. At our BPP on April 8th (36w5d), they noticed cord resistance with our Baby Chloe. We went in for an induction that night and lost baby Chloe about 8 hours into induction; her HR just disappeared off the monitor and never returned. Her body and cord did not have the reserves to tolerate labor, leading all to feel that there was an underlying issue that could not be detected.   We then had a c section and our Kira was born at 6 lbs 1 oz. Chloe was born 3 minutes later at 4 lbs 10 oz. Our true belief is that Chloe struggled and held on for as long as she could to get Kira to 37 weeks and give her the best chance possible and keep her out of the NICU.

Bump Name: andrea z

Angel info: My water broke at 19.5 weeks.  After three weeks on bedrest, I went into labor at 23 weeks on September 13th 2009.  The doctors tried to stop it, but the boys were born 7 minutes apart 4 hours after my first contraction.  Jacob lived for 11 minutes before passing away.  Ethan went to the NICU and fought like crazy for 36 hours.  He passed away from a large airpocket that was putting pressure on his heart.  Here is our blog with the full story  https://zimmermannupdates.blogspot.com/2009/09/update.html

 

 

Unknown reasons

Nest Name: Georgia-Peach
Angel Info: Matthew, born an angel on November 22, 2007 at 19 weeks.

Nest Name: Dontblink
Real Name: Jessica
Angel Info: Cameron Douglas, January 11, 2008, 21 weeks, reason for loss still unknown at this time.  M/C 4/2008 and 6/2008
SAL: Kyle Steven, born May 19, 2009.

Nest Name: HTB
Real Name: Hilary
Angel Info: Dalton was born on January 17, 2008 at 25w2d.

Nest Name: banbear2
Real Name: Brandy
Angel Info: Raymond Bradley went to heaven on January 24, 2008 at 20 weeks.
SAL:  Oliva, born March 2009.

Nest Name: ChelM1216
Real Name: Michele
Angel Info: Gwyniviere Emlyn and Onara Casidhe, miscarriage was discovered on February 2, 2008 and our girls were delivered on February 7, 2008.  Unknown cause for M/C.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting a boy in September 2009.

Nest Name: Baby McCloghry
Real Name: Jilly
Angel Info: Max Kingston McCloghry ? born 23w5d at 12:05 pm and lived until 10:25 pm on February 27, 2008.

Nest Name: KristysRedBarn
Real Name: Kristy
Angel Info: Miller was born on February 29, 2008, at 17 weeks.

Nest Name: Timmylulu
Real Name: Cindy
Angel Info:  I delivered our son at 21w2d on March 10, 2008.  We don?t know why, but I went into pre-term labor, hopefully doctors will get us some answers with the tests they will be running.
SAL: Currently PG and expecting in October 2009.

Nest Name: tpetters
Real Name: Trisha
Angel Info: Missed M/C discovered at 19w2d at big U/S.  Delivered baby boy Nathan Mitchell on August 20, 2008 at 20w.  No cause known.
SAL: Healthy baby boy delivered in August 2009.

Nest Name: September 2006
Real Name: Shelly
Angel Info: William was born August 25, 2008 at 24w3d.

Nest Name: Eschall
Real Name: Emily
Angel Info: We lost baby Taylor October 8, 2008.  I started spotting on 10/5 (my birthday) and talked to the doc.  We got in for an u/s a few days later and baby was measuring 15w1d.  I was 18w5d.  We had a D&C on the day we were supposed to have the "big" u/s.

Nest Name: LV2006
Angel Info: Audrey Lee became an angel on October 17, 2008 at 19w6d.  She is missed every single day?

Nest Name: shellyrmmi
Angel Info: M/C at 17w6d discovered at survey U/S.  Delivered October 17, 2008.  M/C at 8 weeks 5/2000.

Nest Name: str8ota
Real Name: Terri
Angel Info: Patrick Henry was born on November 14, 2008 at 17w.  M/C in December 2006 and ectopic in March 2007.

Nest Name: BAM_2780
Real Name: Beth
Angel Info:  Owen Joseph passed away on August 6th at 23 weeks.  I had a D&C the following day.

Nest Name: DebbieJS77
Real Name: Debbie
Angel Info: While on vacation, my water broke and unfortunately at only 22 weeks and 4 days, our little baby girl was just too little to survive. She was born on Thursday, May 21st at 8:56pm, but she did not make it through labor as expected. At this point the doctors are not sure why my water broke so early.  We hope to get testing results back soon.

Nest Name: brandoonie
Real Name: Brandi
Angel Info: We lost our daughter, Katelyn Leigh Lee at 16 weeks 5 days. I went in for my routine monthly appointment, and there was no heartbeat. I had to deliver as I was too far along for a D&C. Katelyn was born to heaven on April 30, 2009. As of now, we don't know what happened, but I hope to find out more at my next appointment.

Nest Name: Believe15
Real Name: Kristen
Angel Info: On 04/16/09 I started to feel abdominal pressure. I went to the doctor to get checked because DH and I were leaving for vacation that weekend. Ultrasound showed that baby's heart had stopped beating at 17wks0days. I was at 17wks1day. I was induced that evening and delivered our Baby K on 04/17/09. Reason is unknown at this time. May our Baby K rise on the wings of eagles.

Nest Name: babyski14
Real Name: Erika
Angel Info: Our Baby Connor was born into heaven at 36 weeks on April 14, 2009.  Reason is unknown.

Nest Name: Elybride
Real Name: Stacy
Angel Info: I went in for my regular prenatal appointment at 19 1/2 weeks looking forward to scheduling our "big ultrasound" for the following week where we would find out what the baby was.  Unfortunately my doctor couldn't find the baby's heartbeat and an ultrasound confirmed our worst fears that they baby was no longer with us.  I was induced and our beautiful baby girl, Brady Marie, was born on 4/10/09.  All of the tests have come back showing everything was fine and she had no chromosomal abnormalities.  My doctor did say that her cord was wrapped twice around her neck & 3 times around her arm so this may or may not have been what caused her death.  We also had 2 m/c one on 7/3/06 and one this past summer on 8/1/08.
SAL: Blake born August 2007.

Nest Name: cmjv
Angel Info: I went into triage after not feeling movement on Friday, March 20, 2009.  No heartbeat was detected and my husband and I were devastated and in complete shock, as our baby's due date was so close, (April 11th).  I was induced that Friday and delivered a baby girl, 6 lbs. 5 oz. and beautiful on Sunday, March 22, 2009.  We named our baby "Hope", which symbolizes so perfectly what she is and means to us. No known cause for why she was taken from us.

Nest Name: JacobsGirl
Real Name: Amanda
Angel Info: We discovered that our little boy Michael had died when we went in for the "big" u/s when I was 18 weeks on February 16, 2009.  I was induced 2 days later.  No obvious cause for his death... they were unable to extract fluid during the amnio, so we may never know what caused it.

Nest Name: audrey10607
Angel Info: I lost my son Nicholas January 31, 2009.  He developed until 20w1d.  My water broke, no symptoms.  No diagnosis as of yet.  Waiting for the pathology report of the placenta.  Dr's said it would be highly unlikely that this would ever happen again.

Nest Name:JennyTom
Real Name(optional)Jennifer
Angel info: BFP 2/13/08 - Terminated due to T21 4/24/08  Alia Jane
                BFP 3/2/09  - Found out at 20 week appt there was no heartbeat.  Induced and delivered after 60 hours on 6/27/09.  Ella Patrice
                BFP 9/8/09 - Chemical Pregnancy 9/14/09

Nest Name: travers081906
Real name: Tracy
Angel info: 1-April 09, didn't know was pg and we weren't TTC, ectopic pg ended with a n m/c. NA on EDD.  STTC in April, 3 BFP's July 10, best day of our lives. EDD March 8th, 2010! 1st u/s August 13th (suppose to be my lucky #), no heartbeat =( Also the day my gpa passed 10 yr ago. Baby passed at 8w 2d detected at 11 weekssnd is now safe in heaven playing w. gpa. Resulting in d&c August 14th, 2009. Worst day of my life. =(

NestName: goillini823

real name: Aby

Angel Info: went in for big u/s on 11/24/09 was told baby had stopped growing at about 17 weeks. No reason given yet, will update if there is ever one. I was treated for Swine two weeks ago though, and even though the drs. don't believe that caused my baby to die I can't help but wonder.

Nest Name: Jetskreemr
Real Name: Joanna
Angel Info: Bebe was lost yesterday (11/24/09) at 22 weeks, 5 days. I had started cramping and bleeding for a few days before, then put on bedrest, and then my water broke and we were in the hospital trying to stop my contractions the day before she died. She had been perfectly healthy up to that point, and needless to say we are devastated. We are awaiting test results to see if we can find out why I went into labor so early and also why she died.

Bump Name: Court1

Real Name: Courtney

Angel Info: We went for our big ultrasound on 11/25 at 17 weeks 3 days and discovered our baby was measuring small and had no heartbeat.  We believe the baby passed away around 14 weeks.  We had a D&C later in the day & are awaiting genetic testing & pathology reports.

Cow-girl

1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.)

Im feeling ok but thinking that TTC is going to make me crazy (oh wait I already am)..  I passed Grace's due date in August and it sucked.  I lost Grace in March of this year, but just had another early loss on 10/7

2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up?

I am very open in talking about my loss with people.  I figure I will pave the way for it to be an acceptable topic of conversation for those women who come after me.  Even my 5 yo DD talks about her baby sister Grace who is in heaven with Jesus!

3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays?  I found a new pair of angel wings ornament in our christmas stuff (I dont remember buying them) and my 5 yo DD put them on the tree in honor of Grace.  I am also buying poinsettas to be displayed at my church iho my babies that have gone too soon!

4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

Court1

1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.)

Still very sad & a lot of anxiety.  Today marks one week since we went for our big ultrasound and were told the baby had passed.  So far, it's been a rough morning.

2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up?

I haven't had to cross this bridge yet, and I do have one living child.  I made a public announcement on FB yesterday about our loss, in hopes that distant friends and co-workers will stop unknowingly asking questions about the pregnancy.

3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays?

I have no idea, but I've thought about getting an angel ornament for our tree.  Christmas day will be one month from the day we found out, so it will be tough.  I want our ds to know about this child, so we'll probably start some kind of holiday tradition to honor the baby we never got to meet.

4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

I hate that this group has to exist.  It breaks my heart that so many of us have been through this.  Any tips from you ladies on how you got through the first few weeks/months would be greatly appreciated.  Sometimes I think I'm ok, and the next hour I find myself crying all the way home from work.

jetskreemr

Hello,

I am new here, and I do not know how to PM, so I will post as a reply to this:

Nest Name: jetskreemr
Real Name: Joanna
Angel Info: Our sweet Bebe left us last Tuesday, Nov 24, at 22 weeks 5 days. She was born the next day, and we picked up her cremated remains yesterday. I had been fighting preterm labor with bedrest for the week prior, but then my water broke the night before, and she could not make it. It is still too early for a full diagnosis, but based on what happened, the doctors think it was placental abruption.

1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.)

Still lost and devastated as it's only been a week. Very depressed. The support of our family and friends has really helped us get through this though. Also not yet physically healed, so that is tough to deal with as well.

2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up?

Haven't had to deal with that much yet.....although seeing other people pregnant or with new babies is so painful.

3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays?

We had her cremated and brought her home in a beautiful carved silver heart-shaped box. Not sure about anything beyond that yet.

4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

I just wish I knew how long until we see a light at the end of the tunnel. We are still so devastated and in pain.

ShandaB

Can you add me to the list?  I'll PM you the info.  1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.) It's been 1month 3days since our little girl left us and it's still really hard for me.  I had my postpartum dr. appointment yesterday and I thought I was going to be able to keep it together for that but I completely lost it and cried the entire appoitment. 
2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up? We haven't told anyone new about our loss.  I was far enough along in my pregnancy that I was already showing everyone pretty much knows about our loss without me having to say anything. 
3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays? I plan to go out this weekend and get an ornament for her and put it on the tree.  4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

MSC03

Court1:

4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

I hate that this group has to exist.  It breaks my heart that so many of us have been through this.  Any tips from you ladies on how you got through the first few weeks/months would be greatly appreciated.  Sometimes I think I'm ok, and the next hour I find myself crying all the way home from work.

My best advice:

Cry when you want to cry. I figure I'm either going to cry now or cry later, so just let it out whenever the mood strikes you--and do not apologize or feel bad for it. Grieving can feel very selfish at times, but it's the right thing to do.  
Tell people what you need to avoid disappointment when they don't guess correctly. There are times that I preface an entire conversation with something like, "I know you're going to want to tell me that it's going to be okay and help me find the bright side, but at this moment I just need to you listen and tell me that you're sorry/this sucks..."

Other than those two items... I have no idea how to move on. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Days and weeks pass and suddenly it's been three months, it still feels like yesterday, and I'm shocked to find myself still standing. My heart felt like it had been ripped out, but somehow I'm still alive. This shocks me sometimes.

MSC03

1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.)

I think we're on the cusp of deciding to TTC again. We were waiting for January so that I could avoid a similar EDD to the date that I lost Jude, but right now I'm feeling like I give up on the how/why/when's of life and just want to admit that it's all out of my hands.

YOU HEAR ME, UNIVERSE? I GIVE UP! ;-) UNCLE, ALREADY!

2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up?

Well, when you see me in person, it's pretty obvious that I'm not pregnant. I did run into someone who was completely clueless who said, "I hear congratulations are in order!" I looked at her funny and she said, "Aren't you having a baby?" and I just said no. At that point she realized what I was saying, said she was sorry and I said thank you.

I didn't get into the whole story because... well, I never really liked her.

As for strangers asking if we have kids, I just say no. If they pushed the issue any further than that I'd probably mention we have a daughter that we lost, but it hasn't gotten to that point yet.

3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays?

I'm buying an ornament to put on the tree. It's a hand blown glass "tree of life" ornament from a local glass shop.

4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

BeachBride72106

I hope my siggy picture does not bother you ladies.  If it does let me know and I will do like another bumpie I saw and create a seperate bump name to respond here. 

 1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.) It has be a just over a year and a half.  For whatever reason Thanksgiving is hard for me.  Two years ago I was 7 weeks pg at Thanksgiving my whole immediate family was together (several members work jobs that include holidays so it was awesome everyone was off that year).  We were all so thankful and thinking next year there will be a little one, etc. and that didn't happen.  So this year with a little one was bitter sweet because the feelings of what coul of been still exist.

2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up?  I always talk about Wyatt.  I want others know this can happen and that it is ok to talk about.  I don't want there to be a feeling that Wesley "replaced" Wyatt so I make sure everyone knows I have two sons.

3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays?  I hung Wyatt's stocking we purchased last year.  Again don't want it put away like he was replaced.  We hung the rememberance ornament we got ourselves and the grandparents last year.  My IL's sent a new ornament with Wyatt's picture that says "always remembered" so that was hung on the tree.  We took the wreath out to the cemetary just yesterday.  I would like to get another ornament that would be ok outside to hang on the shepards hook that is at the cemetary as well.  I am trying to establish traditions to be carried on so Wyatt will always be remembered and part of our lives.

4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

Hang in there ladies.  The holidays are going to be difficult but the hardest part is already behind all of us and everything will only get easier albeit changed.

schen0510

Hello All

1.  Update:  So I actually started counseling yesterday.  My first session went really well and I think the psychologist is going to be a really good fit.  I will be working on my negativity towards others, negativity towards myself, and positive thinking.  I am looking forward to having a more stable likable new version of ME!!!

2.  This actually just happened.  One of my friends on face book saw a comment about me being up at 6 in the morning and I guess I she didn't know about my loss so she asked how far along I was and gave me some suggestions as she currently has twin boys.  I sent her a private message explaining what had happened.  She felt so badly which of course made me feel badly because I was not trying to upset her.  If the topic of children comes up...which it hasn't yet...I think that I would tell them.  Cambridge and Sebastian are my boys, they always will be, so to me I already have 2 children...that were just not able to stay here with me.

3.  Not sure what we are going to do over the holidays.  We were supposed to have them the week between Christmas and New Years.  It is honestly going to take every ounce of my energy to make it through.  So I guess I just don't know.  

goillini823

1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.)I'm still very lost and sad. It was a week ago yesterday that we found out about the baby. Had my D&E yesterday which left me feeling emptier. I needed it done so I can start the grieving process, but at the same time an end was really put to this pregnancy. We also found out that it was a boy. I needed to know the sex, but knowing it was our first son really hurt. I will never forget Gabriel. 
2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up? I haven't had to run into this situation yet, but i'm dreading when it does come up. 
3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays?I"m going to buy an ornament for Gabriel and hang it on the tree. 
4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

andrea z

1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.)

We are doing ok.  Thanksgiving was rough for us.  It was the first time I saw the boys headstone. I saw their little names on it, and that was it for me.  It has been almost 3 months.  We are doing our frozen transfer next week, so we are hopeful to get a bfp around Christmas. 

2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up?

I haven't figured this out yet.  DH is in the military, so we meet new people all the time.  It is also a big topic with military wives.  One of the first things most ask is how many kids you have.  I have tried telling them, but it usually causes an odd silence.  So... I am still trying to figure out what a good response is. 

3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays?

We put two red bows on the boy's headstone last weekend while we were in town.  I am going to order some things for our tree.  I want something on the tree, and one day Ethan and Jacob's brother or sister can put it up there for them.  They will be in everyone's minds on Christmas day. 

4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

andrea z

MrsSummitCounty:

Court1:

4. Any suggestions for questions you'd like to ask the group?

I hate that this group has to exist.  It breaks my heart that so many of us have been through this.  Any tips from you ladies on how you got through the first few weeks/months would be greatly appreciated.  Sometimes I think I'm ok, and the next hour I find myself crying all the way home from work.

My best advice:

Cry when you want to cry. I figure I'm either going to cry now or cry later, so just let it out whenever the mood strikes you--and do not apologize or feel bad for it. Grieving can feel very selfish at times, but it's the right thing to do.  
Tell people what you need to avoid disappointment when they don't guess correctly. There are times that I preface an entire conversation with something like, "I know you're going to want to tell me that it's going to be okay and help me find the bright side, but at this moment I just need to you listen and tell me that you're sorry/this sucks..."

Other than those two items... I have no idea how to move on. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Days and weeks pass and suddenly it's been three months, it still feels like yesterday, and I'm shocked to find myself still standing. My heart felt like it had been ripped out, but somehow I'm still alive. This shocks me sometimes.

 

This is really good.  I completely agree with everything... You will amaze yourself.  If someone told me a year ago that I would make it through this, I would have never believed it... but here I am still standing. 

I also remind myself that I have no choice but to survive.  I can't just roll over and die, that wont bring my boys back.  I have to live my life and make them proud of their mother's strength.  I still cry, but I am strong enough to put one foot in front of the other everyday.  Not to get overly religious... but I plan on seeing my boys again, and I want them to know that their momma loved them with all her heart, but she also was strong enough to make it through this.

julesverne

1. Any updates/how are you feeling? How long has it been since your loss? Have you passed any milestones and how did it go? (Please note if your profile needs to be added or updated.) Olivia is doing well, but with Christmas around the corner, I am missing Jack more. He would have been almost 2, and really have gotten into the whole thing. And with the holidays, I know that his birthday is right around the corner...and that will never be easy.

2. How do you handle new people that don't know about your loss?  Do you tell them about your loss if the topic of children come up? I keep trying to find the right way to handle the "how many kids do you have" question. It's a bit easier now that I have another baby, but its still tough. The easy answer is 2..but then ppl ask ages, and part of me wants to give how old Jack would have been to avoid having to discuss that he died..because ppl naturally don't know how to react when you tell them that you lost a child, so there is that akward silence afterwards

3. What are you doing to honor/remember your baby(ies) for the holidays? We bought Jack an ornament last year, and that will go on our tree. And I am trying to find a simple, but nice looking stocking to hang up...but all baby-ish ones have "first christmas" on them, and I don't want that