Anyone's DCs' grandparents show favoritism

hethr519

One of my children's grandparents seems to focus a lot more time and attention on DC#1.  Just wondering if this is common and how to cope. I feel very sad for DC#2.

susansev

yup...my parent's visit my nephew/niece more and take them out to breakfast or lunch...they hardly visit us and never bring my kiddos out...

katykat17

My nephew lives with my parents (my sister does on and off, and is pregnant with #2, has no interest in children so don't know why she is having another)

So grandparents pay for all nephews drs appts, expenses, food, toys, and live with him so he is more like a son, I definitely feel bad for DD as we live out of state and she will probably never have a close relationship with them. Also wonder if when she gets older she will notice the difference?

Vrbka

oh my sister is back at my folks EVERY weekend so my folks see her kids all the time.. and they get mad if they don't see my boys that much.. i also feel that with my husbands mother favors DS#2 and my father in law favors DS#1

soon2Bmrspower

Yes. I feel like they focus a lot more on DS#1. It makes me extremely sad for DS#2. They really wanted us to have a girl the second time around, so I can't help but think that is part of the reason. They give them the same amount in their savings and things like that, but for example, they mailed DS#1 packages just about every month when he was a baby. The packages always had fun new toys or books, and they would write sweet personalized messages in the books. DS#2 hasn't yet received a package. I don't know if it was just the big hype of DS#1 being the first grandchild or what.

akgram

You are not alone!!  We also deal with favortism too towards DD#1 and I'm sure once the only grandson arrives it will carry onto him.  Makes me sad for DD#2.  I swear when I'm a grandmother I will NEVER do this!!!!!!!!!

Pesky

Good grief yes.  This has been my primary complaint this visit with my ILs, primarily MIL.  She spends almost all of her time with DD (to the point where DD has started to rebel against her) and practically ignored DS.  I feel so bad for him.  But when my parents come, my mom is all about the baby and kind of ignores DD and doesn't seem to know how to play with her.  Hard for both of the kids really.

pamelainswo

We only have one so far, but I know that when my cousin had her second, she kind of felt like her mom favoured the older child.  She talked to her mom and her mom told her that the baby got so much attention, she wanted to give special attention to the older child.  Also, the older child would notice if Grandma was spending a lot less time with her, while the infant wouldn't notice.

 Things have evened out as the second child become older and more aware.  He's one now, and there is definitely no favourtism now.

jlw2505

My MIL does this. Part of it seems to me is that she is just better with older kids.  As my younger DD has gotten older, she seems to be evening out some but not totally.  I think some of it could also be that my older DD is her 1st grandchild.  She has made comments though and I call her on it everytime - at dinner once, she made a comment about my older DD not sitting next to her (she had chosen to sit next to Grandpa) but my younger DD was sitting next to her which I happily pointed out to her and she shut up fast.