Do you love Babywise? Or how did you did LO on routine?

CA_EAM

I am getting desperate.

DS has zero routine/schedule.  He nurses to sleep.  He takes no naps all day until around 3pm through the rest of the afternoon/evening where he is a tired grumpy mess (I try most of the day to get him to nap).  He eats often, but doesn't really do full feeds all the time.  I am loosing my mind.  And I go back to work in Jan so I would like to est. routine in December and also be able to enjoy it.

I know this is my fault.  He was preterm and weighed less then 5 lbs when we came home, so I thought I was doing what was best for him.  He is now over 11 lbs.  I think we are both ready for sanity.

I have picked up both Babywise and Baby Whisper.  I am so overwhelmed with the switch from eat/sleep/activity to eat/activity/sleep that both books use.  How and where do I start?

lgurian

i use babywise, loosely. we are on the feeding schedule, as for sleeping, they kind of dictate when they sleep. sometimes its eat, play, sleep, sometimes its eat, play, sometimes its eat, sleep play. i dont think they are any worse for the wear and neither am i. we do stick to the three hour eating schedule pretty rigeriously though and that works for us. they pretty much sleep through the night now too (which i LOVE). GL.

NHGirl04

I really really like healthy sleep habits for a happy child. He gives you tips for different ages!  We sort of always followed the, up for two hours then down for a nap.  DD would take three naps a day, 40 mins each, then always went to bed around 7.  Since hitting 6 months, she threw out the third nap on her own so i went back to the book and followed steps to get her onto two naps a day!!  She now takes almost 2 hour naps :)  Good luck.  It is soo hard to find what is right!

 Also, til this day 6.5 months, DD is still bottled fed and rocked to sleep for bed time and sometimes naps too. I don't think you have created a monster!

MrsErinnElizabeth

Your baby is too young for a routine.  And your current 'schedule' with him sounds completely normal for a 2-month-old.  Most importantly, his current schedule is most certainly not 'your fault' since babies this young do not learn bad habits.  You have been responding to his needs, which is exactly what you should have been doing! 

I don't agree whatsoever with Babywise, and I don't believe in parent-centered routines for babies as young as yours, but if you must read something, I would look at The Baby Whisperer or the No Cry Sleep Solution.  

lspinman

MrsErinnElizabeth:

Your baby is too young for a routine.  And your current 'schedule' with him sounds completely normal for a 2-month-old.  Most importantly, his current schedule is most certainly not 'your fault' since babies this young do not learn bad habits.  You have been responding to his needs, which is exactly what you should have been doing! 

I don't agree whatsoever with Babywise, and I don't believe in parent-centered routines for babies as young as yours, but if you must read something, I would look at The Baby Whisperer or the No Cry Sleep Solution.  

This!!

Most of the books will also say that no sleep routine or training should be started until 4 months.

mb~zf

I third MrsEE.  An infant can not learn bad habits.

febgirl

We've done babywise since DS was 2 weeks old. I don't do the CIO, if he cries its for a reason, but we do let him BIO - "biatch" it out. DS set the schedule for eating early on himself, he needs to eat every 3 hours so that is what we do. Dont be overwhelmed - pick a waketime in the morning - usually between 6-8am and then start your 3 hour routine (or 2 1/2, whatever your baby needs). It should be feed/wake/sleep. At 2 months old your babies total waketime should be no more than an hour. When you first start, look for cues of being drowsy and then put him to bed, this will make transition into the crib easier. Make sure you are getting in enough feedings during the day, should be 6 or 7. Once you put LO down at night let them wake you up when they need to eat and obviously, don't do the waketime - just feed and put them back to sleep. Our son has been STTN (10 hours) for a few weeks now and BW is working awesome! I put him in his crib (awake) 1 hour after he gets up and no fussing, he goes to sleep on his own and wakes back up to eat about an hour an a half later! I don't understand why people say its too ealry to put your LO on a schedule... IMO, babies NEED some kind of schedule. His body knows now when to expect to eat and when to sleep, he follows it 100% on his own. Just listen to the cues of your LO... good luck!

PS... it takes about 10 days of following this to work... you can't really go out, you need to stick to making sure he's getting naps in etc...

bim38106

febgirl:

We've done babywise since DS was 2 weeks old. I don't do the CIO, if he cries its for a reason, but we do let him BIO - "***" it out. DS set the schedule for eating early on himself, he needs to eat every 3 hours so that is what we do. Dont be overwhelmed - pick a waketime in the morning - usually between 6-8am and then start your 3 hour routine (or 2 1/2, whatever your baby needs). It should be feed/wake/sleep. At 2 months old your babies total waketime should be no more than an hour. When you first start, look for cues of being drowsy and then put him to bed, this will make transition into the crib easier. Make sure you are getting in enough feedings during the day, should be 6 or 7. Once you put LO down at night let them wake you up when they need to eat and obviously, don't do the waketime - just feed and put them back to sleep. Our son has been STTN (10 hours) for a few weeks now and BW is working awesome! I put him in his crib (awake) 1 hour after he gets up and no fussing, he goes to sleep on his own and wakes back up to eat about an hour an a half later! I don't understand why people say its too ealry to put your LO on a schedule... IMO, babies NEED some kind of schedule. His body knows now when to expect to eat and when to sleep, he follows it 100% on his own. Just listen to the cues of your LO... good luck!

PS... it takes about 10 days of following this to work... you can't really go out, you need to stick to making sure he's getting naps in etc...

I agree with this. We go based off DD's cues of course, but we follow the Baby Whisperer routine. There's a difference btw schedule and routine and routines are very important for babies. They like knowing what comes next and what to expect. It makes them feel secure. We started from birth w/ DD2 and it has worked our really amazingly! She is 1 month and doesn't put herself to sleep yet so we won't push that until she's ready (we try and if it doesn't work, then I do what works, whether it's rock or nurse).But she sometimes sleeps up to 7 hours at night. With DD1 I just winged it and the NB stage was a disaster. Don't get me wrong, all babies are different and all that But DD1 would have benefited from a routine and not just me nursing her 24/7. She fought sleep and therefore never slept and was miserable. If I had been following a routine I would have realized the problem was her being overtired in addition to stomach issues. (but that's a whole other long story I won't get into)

alybookgirl

My church did a Babywise class and DH and I loved it. We haven't started it yet but plan to this week. DD is basically on a 2 - 3 hr feed schedule on her own, but naps are hit or miss at our house. She sleeps 7+ hours at night already so we haven't been in a hurry to really jump into the feed/wake/sleep cycle. I will get serious about it this week. I don't know why people are so against routines. I get it that newborns need to eat all the time, but it doesn't make sense to let a baby schedule his/her own day. That's what parents are for!! You wouldn't let your toddler or preschooler do it, so why is it so terrible to structure a baby's day? For me, it's about being a responsible parent, not making life easier if my baby sleeps all night. 

jwpbride

We read Ezzo's "Preparation for Parenting" (basically "Babywise" with biblical perspectives) and follow the eat/awake/sleep pattern, and LO put himself on a 3 hour schedule just like the book said he would. He also has been sttn for a few weeks now. We aren't too terribly strict on a waking up time (because I personally don't have a "waking up time"). We fed on demand to establish BFing the first few weeks (just like the Ezzo's reccommend), but after that we've been following the book successfully. We do not do CIO, because at this point, LO doesn't really cry- when he's hungry, he eats, when he's sleepy, he sleeps. It's been really successful for us.

I think that most people who are anti-BW haven't read recent books or done much research on it. It no longer advocates CIO and it's not crazy clock-directed feeding. You baby isn't too young for eat/awake/sleep patterns. IMO, it's not really fair to the baby to not have him/her on a schedule- that's not how the world works. The baby is joining your family, not becoming the center of it.