Terrified for my first day back in the "real world"

Court1

We found out about our m/c on Wednesday & while it was hard to have a holiday week, we took the time to be alone as a family.  I'm starting to feel like a functioning human again, but I'm so scared for my first day back at work and in my normal routine tomorrow.  We were 17 1/2 weeks, so obviously everyone knew about the pregnancy, which means we're going to have to reopen this wound over and over again.  Please send thoughts & prayers my way that I can just make it through the day tomorrow.  I know it will be hard.

vegas517

oh hun, consider t&p sent...I'm so sorry for your loss.  I admit, I chickened out and didn't go back when I was supposed to.  I  finally sucked it up, pasted a fake smile on my face, and went back last Tuesday.

I never left my classroom except to go to the restroom for the entire day. I only snapped at one nosey woman who wouldn't stop coming by to see if I was okay (she was just snooping for info about why I was out, she wasn't in the loop about the pregnancy for a reason!).  I survived, cried the whole way home, and had a glass of wine with DH, and more tears.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow.  Do the best you can, no one expects any more or any less. (((hugs)))

calico04

I am sorry for your loss. I had a hard time at work my first day back. I kept myself busy throughout the day and had a Kleenex close by.   I will be thinking about you tomorrow.

 

stellahav

I'm so scared too.  After finding out on Tuesday, I emailed a couple people at work.  I told them to spread the word and to let people know I don't want to talk about it when I come back.  I know there are going to be some women at work who will ask too many questions.  And I know I'll cry. 

I keep thinking about other people who I will have to tell.  It's awkward to call or email someone who I don't talk to every single day.  But I figure it's better to do that then have them ask about it down the road.  

Having just a couple people at work who I can talk to is going to help me tremendously.  I'll be thinking about you and everybody else when we go  through the (hopefully not too difficult) first day back.  

jgoetz:)

My T&P are with you.  Try to keep yourself busy and if anyone pries too much, just be straightforward and tell them you don't want to talk about it.  I only had one nosy coworker and I just had to be firm with her and then she left me alone.  You will get through it and then you can continue with your healing. 

lindsay.lou

I can relate. My first day back is supposed to be tomorrow and I'm chickening out and calling in sick. I went to Target and felt like a freak. I feel like it's written on my forehead.

JuJuBe3

T&P your way!  The first day back at work for me was hard and no one knew.  I ended up telling on co-worker.  I will say once the morning went by, it was better.  I know it will be different for you, since people knew, but I'm hoping they show some respect and consideration for you.  Good luck.

lenabeth

When I returned quite a few people new I was expecting, cause morning sickness was so bad, and I just send a general email to everyone saying "I am not pregnant anymore and do not want to talk about it right now.  If anyone asks, tell them I'm not pregnant."  That helped me cause then everyone knew right away and they told others.  I know it sounds really cold, but there is no way to sugar coat all the sh!t we have gone through.  So far no "how far are you now?" inquiries so maybe it worked.

I cried off and on for a couple days, but it was nice to only get hugs and no questions.  I just was a busy bee and didn't socialize until I was ready.  

I hope all this helps.  Sending you some strength for tomorrow!

monica92603

When your pg is out in the open and ends sadly, it is difficult to find that next step.

I had a c/section and was out of work for a total of 12 weeks. My team knew what was going on so fortunately I didn't have to deal w/ coworkers but I did have to deal w/ some customers and my extended team.  I won't lie....it wasn't fun, but it did help in a way to talk about it.  I'm now to the point where I just feel bad for those who ask b/c THEY feel bad.  I do not mind talking about it b/c I do love my angel and don't want anyone to ever forget that they did exist.

If you can, even though it is a bit late, send an email to HR (if you have it) or other people who can spread the word.  Let them know you are ok but just don't want to discuss anything at this time.  Even if it means you go into work late tomorrow, ask a friend you trust at work to let people know first thing in the AM.  Yeah, you are going to have people look at you like a deer in headlights but it's just b/c they don't know what to say.  Let them know you don't need them to say anything, you know that they care and feel badly.

Lots of vibes and thoughts that you have an easy day.

jetskreemr

My first day back was supposed to be tomorrow as well. We lost our baby girl at 22 weeks 5 days last Tuesday. I have decided to take tomorrow off, then come in for half a day on Tuesday to slowly work my way back into it. Thankfully my office has been very supportive and understanding. Good luck with everything, and realize there are others going through what you are as well and we all support you.

goillini823

I'll be thinking of you. I dont really have any advice as I SAH, but all I can say is hang in there, and just take it easy.

sunsetlove

prayers are with you& your dh.. ((HUGS)))..

Clerk9

I'm so sorry for your loss, & good luck tomorrow back at work.

Tomorrow's my first day back since finding out, too.  Luckily, I have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, so I'll likely take a half day.  

My absence at work was really obvious last week because I'm a veterinarian & there are only 4 of us, so the whole staff will be wondering what happened.  I was supposed to be 10 weeks, so I hadn't told anyone yet (a couple figured it out, though, because of some things I wasn't doing anymore).  Because of the nature of our workplace, I'm thinking about just calling everyone together first thing tomorrow morning to tell them what happened, that way I only have to do it once (we don't have any e-mail network, so I don't have that option but it sounds like a good one to me).  I know not everyone can/will want to do this, but it makes the most sense to me.  You need to do whatever feels right for you, even if it's to tell everyone to mind their own business.  

Best wishes as you go through this rough time, & know that there are others out there who know what you're dealing with & are here for support!  Hope everything goes as smoothly as possible.