I have had a breakdown... long

farrellashleigh

During the holidays we always make rounds to all of the families houses, my parents are divorced so that's 2 houses and my DH's family always goes to the mountains for holidays so we ultimately make the hour and a half drive up there and stay the weekend.

All was going as planned until we got to the mountains thanksgiving night. One of our dogs decided to get sick and was pooping/puking all over and my DS had been sooo extremely fussy from his gas the past 2 days it all became WAAAY too overwhelming.

I broke down at 2am telling my DH that we needed to go home, that it was too soon, and I couldn't do it. He told me I was insane and that we weren't going home despite the fact that the child had screamed his head off literally all night long with the gas pains no matter what we did. And all I could hear when he would taper off for 5 seconds was my dog downstairs whining and whining.

UGGHHH so I held out until the next day but by about 4:00 I was done, I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like we were so far out of our routine, that DS was too little to be uprooting him this soon. We had tried our best to bring EVERYTHING he needed up with us and packed he car to the brim with baby gear. But it just wasn't the same, it wasn't home. There was soo much chaos in the house between our 3 dogs and the other 3 dogs and the 7 people that I literally had a melt down. I cried to my DH that we needed to go home, that the baby would do better at home where we were back to "normal".... I needed to feel a sense of normal again, quiet, back at home. Long story short DH finally reluctantly agreed and we packed ALL the crap back up and came home.

Now I had all of this guilt that DH didn't want to leave and his parents were both really "upset" about it all which is making me feel horrible. All yesterday I was just so restless I couldn't figure out what I wanted. I didn't want to sit in the house anymore but I didn't want to go anywhere. This is an AWFUL feeling, I just feel miserable.... I ended up taking 2 Advil PM and went to bed at 5:30 last night it was so bad. My poor DH ended up taking the baby out to run errands since he was bored out of his mind with me sleeping. Ughhh... I just feel like crap and I feel like it's not going to get better.... is anyone else feeling like this? Any advice? My DS is STILL having horrible gas pains but I think this new formula is helping but it's not 100% better yet.

I just don't know what else to do with myself. I'm so bored but not, I want to escape but I don't, I just feel hopeless and it makes me feel like a horrible mom and I wonder how anyone ever gets through this! Are their kids just easier or what?? Because the way I'm feeling I feel like there's no possible way I can keep going on like this, let alone have any more kids!

Thanks for letting me vent... any encouragement would be really great if you've been where I am at...

ChickadDeedee

That whole situation would have stressed me out as well, and don't feel guilty that you needed some stability and a routine. Traveling alone is stressful and then to add in a sick FB and a fussy LO just compounds it. It sounds like you may have been feeling like this for awhile though, and it might help to go talk with someone to let out all your frustrations, and who will not have a biased reaction to them

firsttogo

Post partum hormones or not, taking a three week old on a trip like that is too much. You were fine in your decision to come home. DHs do not always understand how we feel after having babies. Your body has gone through A LOT, and it has not been a long time. You are not healed, or recovered. They call the 6-12 weeks postpartum the 4th trimester for a reason.

Your job is to sleep, bond with baby, and heal. It will get better. 

MrsBatty

I felt the same way two weeks ago when we went 3 hours north to my mom's house for a long weekend.  Sometimes I think it's harder on the mom when the "routine" gets out of whack, because it's the only thing that keeps us feeling sane.  The trip was also difficult on DD.  She was tired, missing naps, and just generally stressed out at all of the new people in her face and the new surroundings.  By the end of the weekend I was a basket case and flipped out on my mom who kept telling me " you just need to relax" I have realized that traveling with an infant is THE hardest thing to accomplish.  Don't be hard on yourself.  I got down on myself for stressing out so bad ... but now I realize I couldn't really help it ... cause it is stressful.  This story is *part* of the reason why we bailed on going up to see family for thanksgiving.  It just seemed too overwhelming.

rosesandpeonies

First, I think everyone with a LO has trouble when they are somewhere else.  It is a hard adjustment for a LO, especially one that is very young.  So don't feel bad.  I had people at my house day after day for this entire week, and it messed up my three month olds routine so bad that she is a wreck....so had trouble sleeping, napping, etc. 

Second, have you tried giving mylicon drops after every feeding?  My little one needed them starting around six weeks after each feeding.  My dr. recommended them.  Also, after giving the mylicon drops do bicycling with your lo's legs.  After a few weeks we could taper off with the drops and now at three months she barely ever uses them.

BeanieWeanie

I would've totally felt the same if we had tried that when DS was so little - you are completely right in your decision to leave & the situation would've probably just gotten worse if you had stayed, so please don't beat yourself up about it. And really, the family should've been much more understanding and even come to you, but people forget what it's like to have such a new baby.

The first 6 weeks or so are HARD. It will get much better and much easier to do trips, etc. with your LO. Just try to survive and don't feel so guilty.

Also, you could try gripe water for your LO's gassiness. GL!

snowflake19

I don't blame you one bit! I would have been a wreck going anywhere overnight 3 weeks pp not to mention the extra stress of a sick dog and a fussy baby.  Heck, it took almost 2 days for me and DS to recover from Thanksgiving and my parents live 7 minutes away and DS is 9 weeks old!

Have you tried Gripe water for the gas pain? I can get it at Walgreens here. For us it works in 5-10 minutes max. Hang in there. 

thequeeenbee

You shouldn't feel bad. I felt the same way with DS over our thanksgiving trip, and he is pushing four months old now. Everything was just so out of whack when you're not at home. DS was super fussy all day. I probally would have handled it the same way if DS was only 3 weeks old.

Don't feel guilty, your IL's will just have to get over it.

farrellashleigh

thanks for the support ladies, I really lean on it right now because this is just awful.... I'm a wreck...

We use Mylicon pretty much at every feeding and then Tylenol throughout the day to help with the pain which helps him get to sleep also. I will be going to get some Gripe water today and hopefully that will help. We've tried everything from bathing him to bicycling the legs, to having him sleep on his tummy, to the swing or bouncer with vibration, etc. all seem to work equally poorly to fix his issues...

 

mb~zf

Gripe Water is saving my sanity at night when Olive gets gassy and constipated from her meds.

I had a meltdown after taking her to the mall last weekend with SIL and MIl for a few hours.  I couldn't imagine traveling that far.  Hope you get back in your routine soon and feel better.  ((hugs)) 

SeaMama

We only went to my dad's house for Thanksgiving - it's less than 10 mins from here - and we came home at 8pm.  You shouldn't feel bad, it's all soooo overwhelming at first!  Our LO is just over 3 weeks and I was just telling DH that it's so intense to be the ONLY one that can do everything for him.  As much as my husband is super duper helpful, he can't be the mom.  That is something no one can explain to you until your baby is here.  Hang in there, and I'm hoping/sure that this will pass for all of us new mommies!  DH had a 4 day weekend, and we essentially stayed home the whole time.  I started to feel guilty b/c we used to do so much together, but he just reminded me this is a totally different era, and it's all very new.  It's ok to stay in your pjs all day sometimes and just take care of your baby!  I hope your in laws and DH understand why you needed to go home - and if they don't that's their problem.  You did what you needed to do to best take care of your child.  That's all anyone can ask of a mom. 

MrsSandro

I nearly had a breakdown this weekend and baby girl is at 6 weeks. I know i could NOT even consider taking a trip at 3 weeks. Don't feel bad. You had to do what you what you had to do to keep your sanity.

pivey

Crap. I can't talk now but I think I can help. I've been there (dd is 11mos now). PM me!

jlmoore03

My lo is 3 weeks old and I have been so close to breaking down everyday.  Unfortunately, my DD has milk protein allergy and cannot tolerate breastmilk or many formulas including soy, nutrimagen, alimentum, or pregestimin.  Our pediatrician finally put her on Neocate but the side effect is constipation.  Now we have to treat for that.  I am so tired of seeing her suffer along with being severely sleep deprived.  I am actually considering asking my doctor for some anti-depression drugs.  I hate feeling so weak but I do not know what else to do.