I know I'm being irrational (longish)

goillini823

but I really can't help it, and I'm annoyed. I text my 3 very close friends yesterday asking if they were open for meeting up for dinner Saturday night. All of them, but my BF said yes. I know it's a busy weekend, and I know I can't expect the world to stop for me, but damn it in a time like this I wish it would. She responded saying that she was going over her mom's to have leftovers on Saturday. I've known this girl for 15 years, and she started dating my brother 2 years ago, and will be marrying him in July. I saw them yesterday and today, but we didnt talk about what just happened on Tuesday at all.

I really just wanted to hang out with my friends and vent a bit, and I really wanted her there. I know that her mother and rest of the family would totally understand if she bailed on them to come hang out with me. I know I sound extremely selfish right now, but I can't help it. I just really want to get all the emotions I'm going through out, and I know the only people that I can vent to are my friends. I found out on Tues. about the baby, and I have wait till this coming Tues. to have D&C. Right now I can't even take it day by day, Im taking it hour by hour. Some hours are okay, and some are just miserable. I still feel very pregnant, and I swear sometimes I think I feel my baby kicking. 

I know I just rambled a whole lot, but I'm just a ball of all kinds of emotions. Just needed to vent. 

Court1

You're not being irrational.  Your friends should go out of their way to be there for you right now, but unfortunately some either don't get it or are totally uncomfortable & don't know how to handle the situation.

I'm so sorry you have to wait so long for your D&C, but I will provide a ray of hope for you.  We found out Wednesday & had the D&C the same day.  While life is no where near normal, the D&C was the beginning of the healing process for me.  Once it's over, you can begin to heal & physically feel better within a day or so.   

I would have bet my life that I felt my baby kicking on Wednesday morning before our big u/s where we were told the baby had passed 3 weeks before.  I haven't gotten more that 3 hours of sleep each night since we found out, but I found myself smiling a couple times today & the thought of being in public isn't terrifying me as much. 

Stay strong on Tuesday & I hope you find comfort in the arms of your loved ones.

Lissa832

You are not being irrational or selfish at all.  Quite honestly, a good friend WOULD drop what they were doing to comfort you right now.  She's not even doing anything in particular except having leftovers.  When my best friend lost someone important, I did whatever she needed me to do in order to be there for her because that is what a friend does.  I expect the same in return.  I think your friend is being incredibly selfish and inconsiderate right now.

Mrs. K in TX

Did you tell her that you needed her?  I know we assume that our friends will know that we need them around, even though we may not feel comfortable opening up yet.  But, with the stress of the holidays, she might not have been thinking about your needing her now.

I'd call her to talk and let her know how much you are hurting and need your friends.  Even if she can't make it for dinner, maybe you can do lunch today or a brunch tomorrow, followed by manis/pedis?