XP:weaning

angelynn8411

sorry if this gets asked a lot, but DD is 11 months old, and I thought i'd ask you guys a little about weaning...what to expect, how you went about it, etc. The plan is to try to start weaning her at 12 months or so.

Any advice would be appreciated. I don't know anyone IRL that weaned at or around 12 months. Most people I know weaned much sooner, and a couple of my friends nursed til 2. 

I just feel like I have no real idea where to begin. I know to give her a sippy of whole milk, and to cut one feeding out every 1-2 weeks, starting with non-sleeping times first.

I just think it's going to be incredibly difficult on both of us, as this has been a big part of both of our lives for 11 months so far. I think she'll be fine with milk in a sippy, but nursing is a habit and her comfort.

sorry, i am just starting to freak out b/c i know it is soon.

 TIA!

ETA: she nurses 5x/day right now. I can see her cutting out 2 feedings with a sippy, but it's the other 3 i am worried about, esp at bedtime. I heard daddy putting her to sleep might help.

and the main reason we are trying to wean at 12 months is so we can ttc again.

suzymarie

At 12 months, no way would DS have been ready.  It would have been a total freak-fest to reduce his nursing.  So I think it really depends on the kid.

When we did start reducing around 16-18 months, he was ok with it.  He needed to be majorly distracted- like other yummy snacks- and get mama touch time in other ways- like rough-housing.  We also had to change up our routine- DH started picking him up from daycare as that was a big nursing time for him. 

Does your DD eat a balanced diet of table food? 

I wouldn't necesarrily commit to 100% weaning if your only reason is to TTC again.  I think most people on this board feel pretty strongly that you should nurse beyond 12 months and that TTC isn't a good reason not too.  Your Bmilk will continue to benefit your daughter past 12 months- especially since we are in the middle of a nasty flu season right now.  You may find your cycle comes back just fine if you reduce nursing vs. stopping entirely.

MrsAmers

I can't give you direct advice since I let my DD self-wean, but I can tell you a little about my experience.

Around her birthday DD starting eating more at meals and snacks naturally.  We did 3 meals a day with 2 snacks in between, so she was being offered food every 2-3 hours.  In the month before her birthday she went from drinking 2 full bottles at daycare to only drinking 3/4 of one and 1/4-1/2 of the second.  She just naturally started eating more and drinking less.

At 1 year, I did  "don't offer, don't refuse".  She went from 5-6 nursing sessions a day down to 3 over the course of 6 weeks by herself.  (She also never asked for another bottle at daycare - she just started drinking milk with meals.)  So we were left with wake-up, pre-nap and bedtime somewhere between 13 and 14 months.  And I think the pre-nap session was gone by around 14 months.

For bedtime, we switched the order of things around so that we were doing books and hugs/rocking after nursing.  At some point DD stopped asking to nurse - I think around 16 months.  She picked that session up again at 17 months (eye teeth) and dropped it again around 19.5 months.  She dropped the wake-up session really slowly.  First it got shorter.  Then she would just ask for it every other day.  And at the end she was asking for it twice a week.  She was done at 22 months. 

And in all that, my period returned at 13 months and I got pregnant at 18 months.  I know that some women have to totally wean to get their period back, but that might not be the case for you.

My advice would be to start with "don't offer, don't refuse" and to try to keep yourselves busy during the usual daytime sessions that aren't before a nap.  You really don't want to fill her up with a lot of cow's milk, so I wouldn't even offer a sippy of milk unless she *really* needs a replacement for nursing.  It's just one more thing you'll have to wean her off of later.  You're eventual goal is 3 meals, 2 snacks, sippys of milk with food and sippys of water in between.  Make sense?

And even though DD didn't finish weaning until 22 months, I think it would have been pretty easy to finish weaning her between 14 and 16 months if I would have needed/wanted to stop.  She was nursing 2-3 times a day, but she wasn't attached to it like she was at 9 or 10 months old.  KWIM?

Good luck!

angelynn8411

MrsAmers:

I can't give you direct advice since I let my DD self-wean, but I can tell you a little about my experience.

Around her birthday DD starting eating more at meals and snacks naturally.  We did 3 meals a day with 2 snacks in between, so she was being offered food every 2-3 hours.  In the month before her birthday she went from drinking 2 full bottles at daycare to only drinking 3/4 of one and 1/4-1/2 of the second.  She just naturally started eating more and drinking less.

At 1 year, I did  "don't offer, don't refuse".  She went from 5-6 nursing sessions a day down to 3 over the course of 6 weeks by herself.  (She also never asked for another bottle at daycare - she just started drinking milk with meals.)  So we were left with wake-up, pre-nap and bedtime somewhere between 13 and 14 months.  And I think the pre-nap session was gone by around 14 months.

For bedtime, we switched the order of things around so that we were doing books and hugs/rocking after nursing.  At some point DD stopped asking to nurse - I think around 16 months.  She picked that session up again at 17 months (eye teeth) and dropped it again around 19.5 months.  She dropped the wake-up session really slowly.  First it got shorter.  Then she would just ask for it every other day.  And at the end she was asking for it twice a week.  She was done at 22 months. 

And in all that, my period returned at 13 months and I got pregnant at 18 months.  I know that some women have to totally wean to get their period back, but that might not be the case for you.

My advice would be to start with "don't offer, don't refuse" and to try to keep yourselves busy during the usual daytime sessions that aren't before a nap.  You really don't want to fill her up with a lot of cow's milk, so I wouldn't even offer a sippy of milk unless she *really* needs a replacement for nursing.  It's just one more thing you'll have to wean her off of later.  You're eventual goal is 3 meals, 2 snacks, sippys of milk with food and sippys of water in between.  Make sense?

And even though DD didn't finish weaning until 22 months, I think it would have been pretty easy to finish weaning her between 14 and 16 months if I would have needed/wanted to stop.  She was nursing 2-3 times a day, but she wasn't attached to it like she was at 9 or 10 months old.  KWIM?

Good luck!

perfect. this answer was incredibly helpful!!! i am fine with doing it gradually. i think it would be best for both of us.

angelynn8411

suzymarie:

At 12 months, no way would DS have been ready.  It would have been a total freak-fest to reduce his nursing.  So I think it really depends on the kid.

When we did start reducing around 16-18 months, he was ok with it.  He needed to be majorly distracted- like other yummy snacks- and get mama touch time in other ways- like rough-housing.  We also had to change up our routine- DH started picking him up from daycare as that was a big nursing time for him. 

Does your DD eat a balanced diet of table food? 

I wouldn't necesarrily commit to 100% weaning if your only reason is to TTC again.  I think most people on this board feel pretty strongly that you should nurse beyond 12 months and that TTC isn't a good reason not too.  Your Bmilk will continue to benefit your daughter past 12 months- especially since we are in the middle of a nasty flu season right now.  You may find your cycle comes back just fine if you reduce nursing vs. stopping entirely.

thank you. that's what i mean - i don't feel as though Hannah will be ready in a month, ya know?? but I am torn b/c I want to start ttc soon. Hopefully I will get my fertility back and be able to gradually wean her as i am ttc (it took us almost a yr to get pg with her, so I will prob have time). I feel the same way as you about cold/flu season. It would be nice to nurse her through the winter.

suzymarie

Even if she is nursing once or twice a day, she will be getting the immune benefits.  Studies have shown that toddler Bmilk actually gets more concentrated (sort of like colostrum) so that they get all the immune fighters in a smaller volume of milk.

Do you know why it took you so long to get pg with your DD (not that 1 year is *that* long but YKWIM).  Did you ovulate regularly and all that?  Some women get pg 3 months PP (oops!) and others have to be 100% weaned.  Most are somewhere in the middle.  So likely you nursing a bit won't have a huge effect on your fertility.  Doesn't hurt to start charting though, and see what your body is doing.  I got pg when DS was nursing 2-3 times/day-for me night weaning allowed me to ovulate again. 

angelynn8411

suzymarie:

Even if she is nursing once or twice a day, she will be getting the immune benefits.  Studies have shown that toddler Bmilk actually gets more concentrated (sort of like colostrum) so that they get all the immune fighters in a smaller volume of milk.

Do you know why it took you so long to get pg with your DD (not that 1 year is *that* long but YKWIM).  Did you ovulate regularly and all that?  Some women get pg 3 months PP (oops!) and others have to be 100% weaned.  Most are somewhere in the middle.  So likely you nursing a bit won't have a huge effect on your fertility.  Doesn't hurt to start charting though, and see what your body is doing.  I got pg when DS was nursing 2-3 times/day-for me night weaning allowed me to ovulate again. 

we didn't try for even a full yr. we charted for 8 months. i was ovulating regularly, and we did literally everything in the book to try to get pregnant. it just took us time, i guess. I would be fine with nursing DD 1-2 times a day even at 18 months if i'm not pregnant yet. I love nursing her, and it breaks my heart that the end is almost near. but..i want another baby. and..i don't want to make it harder for her by making it last even longer, and even harder for her to end. KWIM? but it seems like the all eventually outgrow the need.