still not used to not having my baby

cinnamonbuns28

ds is 4w2d old today. he probably has a good 2 or 3 wks at least left in the NICU. he just got put into an open bassinet friday night. he is still eating by feeding tube and still having some a's and b's.

 so i was in target and there was a lady with a small baby, looked fairly newborn, and she and another lady were just shopping without a care, and he was laid up sleeping in his carseat, just having a nice trip out. and i kept looking at him, he was so big and purty. and i was so jealous. and i went strait back to my husband and just started crying. he kept asking why, and i turned and pointed to them, and he said i know, i saw it too. it just sucked. no need to reply, just knew you ladies would feel me on this.

Sweets2005

HUGS!!

 

I felt the same way. That will be you one day, soon, too. And this will all be a distant memory.

gizmo909

Ugh, I'm so sorry.  I know it sucks.  Even though DS is home, I still feel jealous and struggle not to cry when I see people out with obvious newborns.  I can't watch a baby story or any shows/commercials with newborns, etc.  It's just an experience I feel cheated out of since I never got to experience it.  Hang in there!

lemen99

awwww (hugs))))))

danlexi04

Sweets2005:

HUGS!!

 

I felt the same way. That will be you one day, soon, too. And this will all be a distant memory.

This was the best advice I recieved while my boys were in the NICU. In less then a month, it will all be a memory. But I know exactly how you feel! My SIL was due 2 weeks before me (but my guys came 7 weeks earky) and after the boys were born I couldn't even look at her because she was still pregnant and I wasn't, then to top it off her baby came home before mine did. I cried. ALOT, BIG HUGS!!!!

cinnamonbuns28

gizmo909:

Ugh, I'm so sorry.  I know it sucks.  Even though DS is home, I still feel jealous and struggle not to cry when I see people out with obvious newborns.  I can't watch a baby story or any shows/commercials with newborns, etc.  It's just an experience I feel cheated out of since I never got to experience it.  Hang in there!

 

i feel the cheated thing too. ha i went across the street from the hospital to pick up some magazines to read while i spent the night with him last night. i got some gossip rag with the preg kardashiam girl on it. i read the article about her baby shower.she was all pregnant at her nice shower, and mine was like nobody showed but a few older ladies from the church and it was really small and throwed together since i had already had him. i was so insanely jealous i had to quit reading! LOL that's pretty sad!

Ali05

((hugs)) it isn't easy. Just hang in there. Somehow we find a way to make it through the NICU. Hopefully he is home soon.

AFwife1106

I had days like that.  The worse one was when we had our fantasy football draft "party".. one of our "friends" left their LO with a babysitter and towards the end, she said something about how she was happy to not have to deal with her 10 month old (she was with a babysitter).

I was pissed.. LO was in the NICU and I would have given anything to be able to have her around me and not stuck in the hospital.  I don't go places that I can't bring LO.  I miss out on some parties and going out to bars, etc.. but I'm not really into the whole drinking thing anymore.  My liver hates me.. ha ha  Anyways, I was on the verge of tears.  I was sitting there, depressed and sad that LO wasn't home and she was talking about how happy she was that her full term baby wasn't around.  

I left to go see LO at that point.. while I was gone she said to DH that she thought LO was scary.. I flipped when I got home and he told me about it.  She was talking about how scary all the tubes and cords were.  I dont really care if LO IS scary, you don't say that to someone.  

It's all about perspective.  Most people don't get it.  I try to not complain about our situation.  LO was only in the NICU for 62 days, she came home 3 weeks before her due date and although she came home on oxygen, she never had any real complications.  I consider us lucky, because she could still be there right now.  We ended up with a happy, healthy, awesome baby.  It took a while, but she's doing great.  She's put on over 3 lbs since she came home a month ago.  

One thing that helped me, whenever I would get upset/jealous is I would think about how many women had to deal with a miscarriage or stillbirth and how they would give anything to be where I was.  No matter what, there is always someone who has it worse.  So I tried to be thankful that we even got a baby.. she might not have come when and how we wanted, but she is alive and happy.  I can't really complain about that.  

The NICU is hard, but when it's over it becomes a lot easier to deal with.  I was never very patient, so having to wait for her to come home was awful.. but now that we are done with it, I wouldn't change a thing.  

borc0080

The day before my BIL's wedding, while DD was still in the NICU, I went to get a pedicure since I was in the wedding.  I felt like such a terrible mother not being with my LO and was so frustrated with the fact that she was still in the hospital.  It's true what they say - it will all be a distant memory.  It sounds hokey, but I think it really does make us appreciate having her home all the more.  Preemie moms have a very unique perspective on things like middle-of-the-night feedings and poopsplosions.  They're not that bad because we know how much worse it can be.

Hang in there!  We're rooting for you!

cinnamonbuns28

it is hard sometimes to just sit and laugh at a movie or go shopping to pass time b/c it makes you feel like a bad mommy, like you have to be there all the time.

At1stsight

It's so hard! I remember how sad I was in the hospital just hearing all the other moms with their babies in their rooms with them in the maternity ward, and DH and I just kept looking at each other saying how unfair it was. Then going home without him was SO hard. Other moms will never know what it's like to be away from your baby for so long. I'm so sorry you had a rough time today! Hugs and prayers for him to get ready to come home soon...

kiki408

Ughh, I feel the same way! It is SOOO hard. I cry cry cry all the time, even though I know my babies are in good hands. You are not alone here, which is why the board is so nice to have. Hang in there....((huggs))

clyoungsey

((Hugs))  I know this sucks...even today, while I have had my baby home for almost 4 months, the blissful ignorance of FT mommies taking their newborns into the germy abyss while I carefully make arrangements to have him watched over not to be exposed to germs makes me sad too.  But there is no way it compares to having your little one away from you...hope he comes home soon!

SkypekWithoutAC

Ditto the PPs...and you are not alone. When DD was born, I was (and still am) shocked at the number of people who had also had preemies. People at church, the lady at Motherhood, tons of people. And once the babies are home and getting a little chunkier, it's so hard to tell preemies from full-term babies. People think Ellie's a full-term newborn all the time, so you never know. *hugs*