Attachment to mom vs dad...

rianals

I tend toward APing, I think.  DH is supportive of me parenting the way I think is best, because I have been around more kids and I have done a lot more reading.  DH is much more on the back burner as a parent.  He is a great husband and is a great father (although he is not taking NEARLY as active role as I am, at this point.)  I am worried/wondering what to do (if anything) about DD seeming more attached to me than DH.  Is this just normal and nothing to worry about?  DD is 4 months old and EBF.  DH has never put DD to bed and has only been alone with her for about ten hours (on about six different occasions) and she was asleep for six of them.  Logically, it makes sense that I am DD's favorite parent, but emotionally I worry that this isn't okay.  Will she attach strongly to DH as she gets older?

flutiefrostie

I think it's ok during infancy. I would encourage him to find an activity that is his special "thing" with her, though. DH and DS have man play-time in the mornings before DS's first nap so that DH can see him before work and I can get more sleep. I think it's really helped them bond and I keep finding cute pictures and videos he takes on my camera of them being goofs.

rianals

Until just recently, DH would sit and talk with DD in the evenings, but lately she has been a lot fussier (screaming hysterically) so we  (I) do anything I can to keep her calm.  It is a really good idea for them to spend some good quality time together during the mornings when he is home, though...

catrinawaves

flutiefrostie:

I think it's ok during infancy. I would encourage him to find an activity that is his special "thing" with her, though. DH and DS have man play-time in the mornings before DS's first nap so that DH can see him before work and I can get more sleep. I think it's really helped them bond and I keep finding cute pictures and videos he takes on my camera of them being goofs.

We actually do this same exact thing. DH takes DS after his 6 am feeding so that I can get more sleep and they get some father-son bonding time. I think it's great

Maybe your DH could do something similar? Could bath time be his domain? DH also likes to take naps on the weekend with DS (DS sleeps on DH's chest-it's pretty friggin cute) which he says is his favorite bonding time.

I think it's inevitable that a baby is going to be closer to mom in the beginning, especially if you're BFing. But I think it's really important that dad and baby get some one-on-one time. Not to mention that they getting some together time means you get some "me" time, which is important too!

Meg&Jesse

In the beginning, especially with EBFing moms seem to have a "bigger" role.  Now, we do struggle with DS being "more attached" to me.  I have this in quotes, because I don't really believe that DS is more attached to me in that he doesn't have a strong relationship with DH, it is just that he is with me more often. 

Another thing I noticed for us was that the older DS got it was easier for DH to do different things with him, because DS started interacting more and they could engage in different play activities. 

I agree with PP thought that your "me time" is important.  I sometimes leave DS at home and just go to Target or something.  It gets me out of the house and DS and DH can play alone.

 

Joey Amanda

M helps dh get ready in the morning watching him put on his tie and shirt and even hangs out in the bathroom while dh showers... then when dh gets home from work they go bond for a half hour when i get dinner ready they go far away from me and sing crazy songs

Daisiesinmygarden

DH has DD in the mornings. He *usually* changes her diaper and talks to her until its time for him to leave for work.

It kind of hurt DH's feelings that M was more attached to me in the beginning. Telling him that it was because she was EBF and I was home with her didn't help his feelbads, even though he understood. At about 4 months she started really noticing that he came home and was/would pick her up. I made sure to say something about her noticing and that made him feel better (both that it was happening and that he was getting some daddy kudos).