My 2nd preg, no one hosting a shower. Anyone joining me in this boat?
XP: Yeah, I know it's a sensitive topic around here, but I must be honest... I'm shocked that no one offered to throw a shower for this baby. In our family, the "norm" is that we celebrate each baby. I know my sis has a 4 month old so she's busy, and my other sis is in college, so she's not thinking of it, but what about my mom or step-mom or bazillion aunts or girlfriends? It's just odd to me and makes me a bit sad. It's honestly not about the gifts... in fact, I really don't need much (maybe a double stroller, but we can buy that). The one thing that may be throwing a wrench in the situation for others, is that we didn't find out the gender this time.
Anyhow, I have a large family, and get-togethers are rare (holidays only), so a simple get-together would be fun so I'd at least have a memory of it for THIS baby and pictures to put in THIS baby's book under the area for "shower pics".
I do have 2 more months to go, but since no one's mentioned anything, I'm doubting it's even entered anyone's mind. So, I guess it's up to me:) I'm thinking of doing a gathering of sorts (without gifts) after the baby is here. What do you think? I've never been to a sprinkle and not even sure that's what you'd call this... what is a sprinkle, really? What do you do? Same things as a shower except that the baby is there and there are no gifts? Thanks for listening:)
Re: My 2nd preg, no one hosting a shower. Anyone joining me in this boat?
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I totally agree with this:) In my family, and around these parts, it is "expected" for each baby to be celebrated (with or without gifts, depending upon how long it's been since your last, and the gender of the next baby... all logical things).
At my work, I'm sure they'll have a shower for me. They are already talking about it. My family, for some odd reason, are not. I'm sure it's b/c everyone is so busy, and I understand that. It just makes me a bit sad considering I always throw everyone else's 2nd and 3rd showers/sprinkles. It's odd, but I'm sure it's slipped their minds and I, in no way, will be upset with them for it. I know it's an honest mistake. But, I still want to celebrate this baby and make those memories... and I talked with DH about it last night and he was like, "Oh, it would be fun to host a meet the baby party and that way *I* can be there without feeling awkward this time:)" LOL!
I thought the original concept of a baby shower was to "shower" the mother with gifts to help her and the father out financially - because the initial costs of having a baby can be insane and, back in "the day", a young pregnant couple would typically not have had much money to buy all the start-up items on their own. I don't believe the intention was to celebrate the baby, it's to help out the new parents. By the time baby #2 shows up, the parents could re-use the gifts from baby #1.
(Disclaimer - this isn't necessarily my opinion, just my observation. I have no opinion on 2nd-baby showers right now b/c, well, I don't even have a 1st baby yet)
The above poster (incognitowifey) is correct. The shower is to shower the NEW mom-to-be with gifts to set up; the nursery. That is why a second shower is kind of redundant...like what could she need? Maybe some outfits for the baby? If that is the case and she really wants to "celebrate" teh baby then a "meet the party" would be ideal. Baby would be celebrated...because she/he would actually be there for people to celebrate and she/he would get some new outfits, etc.
I've only been invited to one 2nd shower and I did not attend. I did, however, send a gift and even snet a gift when the baby was born. I know the woman is really hard up financially so everything I got (including a gift card and diapers for the shower) were things that she would need.
My baby is two!!! Baby girl 9/17/09
My other baby is still a baby! Baby Boy 11-30-11
Shower = gifts
Why do you need a "shower" to celebrate a baby?
Well, to me, shower=party=celebration. To me, showers do not have to have gifts... so I guess it'd be best to call it a meet the baby gathering.
Sprinkles are a new name for a shower for 2nd time + mom's. There are gifts but this is usually a case for moms expecting the 1st girl or babies are many years apart where they wouldn't have the typical and necessary items like baby tub, etc.
It sounds like you want to throw a Meet the Baby party which is great! Essentially, the name of it explains it all. It is a party to introduce your LO to your friends and family. These are lots of fun and you would have tons of pics since baby tends to get passed around more than the food! (Keep that in mind if you are in the middle of a flu season and are concerned....)
Typically the Meet the Baby parties are informal and people don't bring gifts (although those closest to you may if they choose to, but it isn't expected). You can put a simple message on the invites, "Please, no gifts." or something along those lines if you wish to make it clear that you are not expecting gifts and that this is not actually a baby shower. That is all up to you however. Do what you and your family/friends group would be comfortable with and don't worry much about what us complete strangers on the Bump have to say..lol
Have fun with whatever gathering you end up having!!
This.
"This ribbon has been reported." - lovesnina
I get the mindset of celebrating the baby. I also get the historical/traditional meaning and purpose of a shower. There will always be toes stepped on in transitions between traditional and current trends and its impossible to avoid without avoiding the situation all-together!
I never mind going to a 2nd shower. Usually the gift I bring is more cutesy or completely practical in these cases. I also know that since I didn't even want a shower this time around for myself, that I won't be accepting a 2nd for myself. I will however, hope for great weather and timing on my 2nd child so I can throw a big BBQ/Meet the Baby (okay, momma needs some socializing) type party in the backyard or at a park! lol
Essentially the problem comes out though between traditional and celebrating when we want to have the party in a similar fashion as our 1st baby (i.e. before baby arrives) regardless of gift acceptance. We can't call those parties "Meet the Baby" and we shouldn't call them showers traditionally speaking...so then what? It becomes the great debate between "just don't do anything", "wait for baby", and throw a compromise like a "sprinkle" which is still a shower....I think we need a summit to find a new name for a party before baby gets here but without gifts......haha! (Sorry, this drama just cracks me up somedays...but I do honestly get the sticky situation!!)
I am not one of those people who are against a second shower. I feel like a shower is to welcome the baby into the family/world and help prepare the new parents. The only time I may not offer to host or wont attend is if its way too close together. Like less than 3 years. I just feel like they should still have items left. In these cases a meet the baby would be better and I would probably bring a practical gift like pamper and wipes.
We will be having a shower for my second child but my first child will be 9 when LO is born and its the first child for DH and I together so both our families are very excited about it and are hosting a shower for us.
What my family does is, has a large shower for the first child, and if the 2nd is a different sex, then they throw another shower... if it is the same sex or 3rd or more they just get together and have brunch, no gifts expected, just a nice time with all the woman in the family and close friends
The word "shower" means to shower the mother with gifts. A guest would not show up to a shower without a gift without feeling like a true moron. Meet the baby parties are a different story. My friend had a "sip & see" with tea at her home after her baby was born. That would be a great idea! I totally get that you want to have time to celebrate this baby too though & you can definitely think of a way to do it! Perhaps you could just go to dinner with some girlfriends or invite your girlfriends to a Nursery reveal party or something cute.
In my opinion, 2nd showers are tacky (and I am from a place where they happen a bunch). I say this because I have had to attend and/or host a million of them. The only time I disagree with this is when it is twins or when the second child comes LONG after the 1st.
From PP
Essentially the problem comes out though between traditional and celebrating when we want to have the party in a similar fashion as our 1st baby (i.e. before baby arrives) regardless of gift acceptance. We can't call those parties "Meet the Baby" and we shouldn't call them showers traditionally speaking...so then what? It becomes the great debate between "just don't do anything", "wait for baby", and throw a compromise like a "sprinkle" which is still a shower....I think we need a summit to find a new name for a party before baby gets here but without gifts......haha! (Sorry, this drama just cracks me up somedays...but I do honestly get the sticky situation!!)
My F & F call these types of Parties a "Sip & See'" You have drinks = Sip and you get to "See" the new baby....
Wow, you took the thoughts right out of my head!