Question about wanting 3 kiddos.....

adri77

Just out of curiosity, not trying to insinuate that people don't know what they really want.....but I see a lot of moms here with 1 child saying they want 3....before they even had 2, or became pregnant for a second time.  Has anyone on here that originally thought they wanted 3 kids- and are now either pregnant with #2 or have 2 kiddos- have any of you changed your mind on wanting 3 now that you are experiencing life being pg and caring for a toddler or with 2 kids?  I know I always said I wanted 2, but now that I have 2 I know I want 3....a decision I came to only after having my second baby.  Does this question even make sense?  I feel like I can't word it right via typing it out!!!

GrowingFamily

Since I was 12 years old I have said I wanted 4 kids.  Now, I am thinking that I might want 5....DH is on board if I do.  We will wait another year or so & see.  I have always known I wanted lots of kids, though. 

mlf625

So far, I haven't wavered. ?I've always said I want 3, and being pregnant with a very active toddler hasn't changed my mind. ?I do know we'll be waiting a bit longer this time, though!!

I grew up in a family of 3 kids and that just seems ideal to me.?

July28 2006

I see what you're saying.  DH and I have said we want 3 kids before even having 1.  We're both from families of 3.  We love the dynamic, the friendship, and the bonds that we formed uniquely with each of our siblings.  Without even having 2 kids, I can tell you that I want 3 kids.  I want my children to have what I have with my siblings. 

Mominator

It's funny. When I was younger I never wanted kids and then had an Oops! and got pregnant with my oldest. Then I was sure that I only wanted 1. After meeting my husband I completely changed my mind. We had 2 kids and if we hadn't split up I would have wanted one more. I guess you just never know for sure.

lpennie16

I always wanted 2 or 3 kids. Having two kids now, I'm not so sure about three. DH and I agreed we'd discuss the possibility of #3 when I turn 30 in two years. Being pregnant isn't fun; labor isn't fun and neither is getting up several times in the middle of the night.

I miss sleep. DH is a schoolteacher so we aren't the wealthiest people and I want to go back to work when the boys are kindergarden age. This will take longer to accomplish if we do have #3.

preg_amy

I say that I want three, but I only have one.

That's because DS came a little earlier than we had originally planned for our life.  He was a wonderful surprise, but we have a lot of things to do before we have more kids.  

However, we would like to have two kids close in age.  So we like the idea of having an older kid, and then having two younger ones closer. So it will be different than having three kids right in a row.

 

I also want to add that those plans could easily change.  We might decide to stop at two, we might decide to keep going and have four.

Ciconrad

This isn't exactly what you are asking...but I am pregnant with #2 and know we definitely want 3 kids.  There is no way I am ready for this to be my last pregnancy - plus we would love a little girl if it works out.

What I am definitely not ready to plan until this baby is born and we get through infancy, is how close we want #2 and #3 to be apart in age.  I can pretty much guarantee they won't be 2 years like #1 and #2.  Probably more in the 3-4 years apart range.  I definitely think I am going to want my first in school before having another.  3 kids at home all day - I don't think so!

Andrewsgal

I totally get what you are saying. I have a friend who has always said she wants 5, she just had #2 and is so very overwhelmed and sad. I understand planning the number of kids, but I think you also need to be flexable.

I also only wanted two, now that I have two I want three:)

JulyFiveBride

DH and I think we want a big family, but we have agreed that we will take it one at a time, because we don't really know what it will be like. After DD was born, I wasn't 100% sure I even wanted two, because my pregnancy was so miserable, I just couldn't imagine doing it again. But, obviously, I changed my mind. After this baby is born, then we'll decide for sure if we want number three. But when people ask, we always say we want more kids, because for now, we do.

adri77

July28 2006:

I see what you're saying.  DH and I have said we want 3 kids before even having 1.  We're both from families of 3.  We love the dynamic, the friendship, and the bonds that we formed uniquely with each of our siblings.  Without even having 2 kids, I can tell you that I want 3 kids.  I want my children to have what I have with my siblings. 

Yeah, that makes total sense to me!!!

Spin313

I used to say I wanted three kids until I had DS.  He has been a semi-easy child and it's still tiring to be a mom.  I think two is plenty, now.

adri77

Ciconrad:

.

What I am definitely not ready to plan until this baby is born and we get through infancy, is how close we want #2 and #3 to be apart in age.  I can pretty much guarantee they won't be 2 years like #1 and #2.  Probably more in the 3-4 years apart range.  I definitely think I am going to want my first in school before having another.  3 kids at home all day - I don't think so!

This is exactly how I feel.  It's already too late to have 2 and 3 as close together as 1 and 2 are,but I think I really need DS1 to be in kindergarted when I have a newborn!!!

Kriz_b

Not really what you are talking about but I did want 3 kids.  The only thing that has changed is that we will decide after pregnancy #2.  I had SPD with DS and it gets worse in subsequent pregnancies.  We will see how #2 goes as to whether we will end up having #3.  Who knows, maybe #3 will be adopted if I really want another one but can't deal with the pain of another pregnancy.

LilMissLadybug

I wanted four kids. Then I had DD and DH was one and done. Finally after much discussion we agreed two kids would be it. Sometimes I would love a third child but I don't think I could do it.

caymanbride

I'm one of 2, and DH is one of 3. We've always said we want no less than 2 and no more than 4. I just don't know that I will really feel 'done' after # 2. I think after # 2 comes, we will just be wondering how much time to space between #2 & 3.  I will probably want a little more space than 2 years, but not too much more because DH is already 40, and I'm 31. I don't know....we'll see how the spacing works out between DS and our next one. But in my heart, I don't think I'll feel like I only want to have 2 babies/pregnancies.

KeepingItLowKey

I've never wanted 3 kids! I don't want more kids than I have arms. I always wanted 2. Until I had 1, and then I said I'd be perfectly happy with just her... but alas, we're going to have a second and then that's it!

auslyn804

Before ds I always thought I'd want 2.  After he was born, I wanted 6.  Then I returned to work and thought maybe 3.  Now that I am pregnant again, I'm thinking we will stop at 2. Pregnancy is hard for me and definitely harder with a toddler. I'm not making any decisions for awhile though. We'll see how we feel a year or so after this one is born.  

618mom22boys

I have always said I wanted 3 kids.  And I already have 2 and my mind is still set on 3.

jen_k2

DD was older when I met DH so he never experienced a baby & toddler. He wanted 2 addt'l kids making it 3 total. I was never 100% sold on the idea. After having #2, it wasn't in my best physical interest to have a 3rd child. After a week home with a newborn, DH said it wouldn't have mattered if we could've had #3, b/c he was FINE with 2. lol He didn't anticipate the amount of work a baby would be.

disbride061103

I have always said two kids and that's it, but now that we have had DS, I don't know that I will want to stop after the second one.  DH and I are on the same page and agree to discuss #3 after we have #2.

lite-bright

We're taking it one kid at a time. We know we want at least two (as I'm pregnant with #2 now) and maybe three. We won't decide for sure on #3 until probably around when #2 is a year old. 

But now that I'm pregnant with my second, I totally go back and forth on whether I really want a third. The first trimester SUCKED. For me, it was easier to work FT during my first pregnancy than be a SAHM with a toddler during the first tri. I dread the thought of going through that again with two kids instead of one.

Plus, we'd almost certainly have to move to a bigger house if we had a third, and I love our house and neighborhood. But we may be moving by then anyway, so who knows.

I'm one of three kids, so I think it's a good number. And I'm kind of sad thinking that this might be my last pregnancy. Plus, to be honest, gender is also a factor for me. I'd love to try for a little boy (we're having our second girl now), but of course there's no way to guarantee that and the thought of three girls close in age -- especially when they get to be teenagers -- kind of freaks me out right now. :P

But luckily DH and I aren't making any decisions on that right now, or anytime soon!