doesn't seem real yet

Kandie35

i had all these plans and ideas of how things were going to be..how Orchid and her little brother or sister were going to play together and fight and annoy their big brother Ari...about how Orchid and baby would get to go to preschool together, the same one Ari went to - but they'll have each other to adjust better, and how we were not going to find out the baby's gender this time since we have all the baby things for either gender so we wanted the gender to be a surprise until his/her birth day...   anyway, i just caught myself thinking about it and then realizing that none of that is applicable any longer. prior to this i have lost twins in '97, and singletons in '99, 2003, 2004, and 2007. i don't think i can go through this again..i know i have five children already and believe me i know blessed i am that i have five healthy, well-adjusted, intelligent, benevolent children!!!!! it just feels so out of my control...i use birth control and still end up pregnant...meh. i'm not looking for sympathy here, i just needed to get that out of my head.

edbetsy1

Vent away that's why we are all here.  Lots of hugs mamma your a great mom!

Pesky

 

Daisiesinmygarden

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. While your other children are a wonderful source of joy, comfort and (well deserved) pride, you can and should still mourn your loss. You are welcome to vent here all you need. You've had a lot of losses and I am so sorry that you and S.O. are going through it again.

mama.bear

A loss is a loss and it hurts - regardless of how many children you have. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. While I am blessed to have two healthy older children and a surviving twin, he is not a replacement for the one we lost this pregnancy or the two others before him. I mourn the loss of Robert growing up without his brother whom he shared a womb with for 9 months. I mourn the loss of a child I will never know. I know that feeling.

I wish I was there with you right now, Kandie. I know how bad it hurts. I am so sorry! I'm praying for you, friend!

JenniferTCU

Kandie, I said a prayer for you this morning and will continue to do so. I am so very sorry.

fauxshelley

Kandie, I am so very sorry for your loss. 

stever

Take all the time you need to get it out Kandie.We're all here for you.

&&

so sorry for your loss Kandie, you have been and will remain in my thoughts.

Peppernut

We're here to listen, and help when we can!

You can make it through!  Even if stinks that you have to

Kandie35

mama.bear:

A loss is a loss and it hurts - regardless of how many children you have. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. While I am blessed to have two healthy older children and a surviving twin, he is not a replacement for the one we lost this pregnancy or the two others before him. I mourn the loss of Robert growing up without his brother whom he shared a womb with for 9 months. I mourn the loss of a child I will never know. I know that feeling.

I wish I was there with you right now, Kandie. I know how bad it hurts. I am so sorry! I'm praying for you, friend!

I am an ass. I have no reason to whine. I suck. I could never have gone through what you have!

Moiselle

What kind of bc were you on?

mama.bear

Kandie35:

mama.bear:

A loss is a loss and it hurts - regardless of how many children you have. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. While I am blessed to have two healthy older children and a surviving twin, he is not a replacement for the one we lost this pregnancy or the two others before him. I mourn the loss of Robert growing up without his brother whom he shared a womb with for 9 months. I mourn the loss of a child I will never know. I know that feeling.

I wish I was there with you right now, Kandie. I know how bad it hurts. I am so sorry! I'm praying for you, friend!

No, no, no...

Sorry to use your post to talk about me. I just want you to know that I'm with you. People often say stupid Sh*t when you're hurting. A loss is a loss period. It hurts. It sucks and I'm sad. No one should ever lose a child.

Big hugs

I am an ass. I have no reason to whine. I suck. I could never have gone through what you have!

pahokie

I'm so very sorry, Kandie.  Tons of hugs to you.

Kandie35

mama.bear:

No, no, no...

Sorry to use your post to talk about me. I just want you to know that I'm with you. People often say stupid Sh*t when you're hurting. A loss is a loss period. It hurts. It sucks and I'm sad. No one should ever lose a child.

Big hugs

Please don't think that i am upset about you talking about your situation in the post that i originated. I welcome everyone's thoughts and experiences all the time. I was just thinking that it would have been far worse had i been in the second or third trimester and i need to suck it up and get over it all ready. 

You're so right about people saying stupid shiit. when i lost the twins the surgeon literally said to me "i don't see why you're getting so upset. you have THREE kids all ready! how many do you want?!" i was dumbfounded and embarrassed. why a professional would say that to a woman still in ICU after emergency surgery that resulted in the loss of her baby(in this case babies)is beyond my realm of comprehension.

Kandie35

Moiselle:

What kind of bc were you on?

well, i've gotten pregnant on birth control pills (low est), with a copper IUD, and this time with condoms used religiously.  don't know what the hell to use now...not that sex is on my itinerary any time soon, but it is inevitable.

mama.bear

Kandie35:

mama.bear:

No, no, no...

Sorry to use your post to talk about me. I just want you to know that I'm with you. People often say stupid Sh*t when you're hurting. A loss is a loss period. It hurts. It sucks and I'm sad. No one should ever lose a child.

Big hugs

Please don't think that i am upset about you talking about your situation in the post that i originated. I welcome everyone's thoughts and experiences all the time. I was just thinking that it would have been far worse had i been in the second or third trimester and i need to suck it up and get over it all ready. 

You're so right about people saying stupid shiit. when i lost the twins the surgeon literally said to me "i don't see why you're getting so upset. you have THREE kids all ready! how many do you want?!" i was dumbfounded and embarrassed. why a professional would say that to a woman still in ICU after emergency surgery that resulted in the loss of her baby(in this case babies)is beyond my realm of comprehension.

It's hard for me to project a tone in email, or this case, a post. Whew. As we both know, people love to put their foot in their mouths all the time. Can't believe a doctor would say that shiit to you! I've heard a lot of insensitive stuff. One would think a professional who deals with loss repeatedly, would have more compassion than that. I was going to PM you but, I don't know how. If you want to talk, please reach out to me. I'm hear for you. kdbennett at gmail dot com.

Mango2

fiazo

Send some of that fertility luck my way.

busybea

Kandie, this is exactly why this board of mature women is here and why we are on it...you have the right to vent, cry, be sad, whatever you need to be, we are all mature women and here for you.  We have all had our own losses in different ways, but no matter what or when or how, it sucks the big one!  and I'm so very sorry you are going through one now, my T&P are with you and your family.... {{HUGS}}

ougrad1

fiazo:

Send some of that fertility luck my way.

Me too!

robynlesley

Kandie... any loss should be mourned. Give yourself time to heal?though you'll never forget.

maschmidt16

so sorry for your loss...