How would you feel if your child changed their name?

Sxia

(Not for marriage purposes-- girls only). My aunt was named Lynn Robin and changed it to just be Robin. My friend was Anita, always hated it and now changed her complete name. (FN is now Miriam.) DH and I both changed our last names when we got married.

How would you feel if your child changed their first name?

How would you feel if your son changed his last name?

 

FemmeNat01

I am not going to lie, I would be kind of hurt. I put a lot of thought and effort into naming them.

BUT, if they could give me a good reason, then we might be able to work it out.

I never felt that Natasha fit when I was younger but my mom told me she would be hurt if I changed my name, so I didnt and I eventually grew into Natasha and now love it and it fits me.

If my son changed his last name, I think DF would be hurt. That's his heritage and his lineage. He is carrying it on and I would be hurt as well and I know DF would be if he changed his last name.

wheelenl

As long as they are old enough to have given their names a fair shake, and know what they're doing, it would bother me but I would embrace it. I think self expression is really important.

cc_fame

I would be hurt if LO changed their name.  I think the name we picked is nice, pretty, and not odd or unusual.  I can see a child wanting to change their name if it was crazy or caused a lot of teasing, but it would bother me.

Kiki-licioius

I thought about changing my name when I was kid.  My mom told me she wouldn't call me by my new name though.

I would be a little hurt and it would be hard to call her by a different name.  I guess i would get over it eventually...i hope. lol

FutureMrs.Steen

I would be upset if they changed their name. We named our DD Sarah Catherine because my grandmother Catherine's favorite name is Sarah. We wanted to honor her because she is an amazing woman who went through so much plus DH and I loved Sarah. 

I also would be very sad if my son changed his last name. I just feel that it's a lack of respect to his family and culture. Obviously I would get over it, but it would definitely bother me.

mrsseguin

My sister changed her name.  My mother named her Charlene Dawn.  She changed it to Dawn.  My mom was upset because she loved Charlene so much.  I think I would be upset if my child changed their first name...you go through a lot to pick it out...but then again if they really hate it, and change it, there isn't much you can do about it.

LadyXaverian

Sxia:

(Not for marriage purposes-- girls only). My aunt was named Lynn Robin and changed it to just be Robin. My friend was Anita, always hated it and now changed her complete name. (FN is now Miriam.) DH and I both changed our last names when we got married.

How would you feel if your child changed their first name?

How would you feel if your son changed his last name?

I have to admit, I'm curious about this!

I think I'd be sad...

I had such a hard time trying to decide which of my names to drop/change when I got married, that I kept them all. So now I have FOUR names.. First, middle, maiden, married. No hyphens. lol

anna7602

I wouldn't mind if DD chose to use her middle name instead of her first name. I put a lot of thought into both and each name has a lot of meaning for me.

If she ditched both names entirely and picked a new one, I guess how I feel would all depend on the reason.

GeoffreytheGiraffe

I'd be ok with them changing their first names.   I will be a bit disappointed if my daughters change their names at marriage.   Before or after? ok.  But not just because they get married.  I'd get over it and keep my mouth shut, though :O)

angelika78

If he just absolutely HATED his name (or there was some horrid nickname associated with it that I didn't think of prior to naming him) I would be ok with it...it might sting at first and take some time to get used to, but ultimately he has to live with his name and so as long as he is old enough to really understand the decision, the decision needs to be his.

As far as the last name goes, *I* would not really have a problem with it (because I kept my maiden name and he has DH's last name) but DH might.  I don't think it would be a massive fight or anything, but I think his feelings would be really hurt.

angelika78

FutureMrs.Steen:

I also would be very sad if my son changed his last name. I just feel that it's a lack of respect to his family and culture. Obviously I would get over it, but it would definitely bother me.

 

Just out curiosity - would this apply to a daughter?  I am not trying to start an argument, but part of me not changing my last name (besides the whole pronunciation thing) was that my dad had two daughter's so really no one to carry on his last name...I thought that was important.  But people give me a lot of crap about not taking Dh's last name.

Fierylocks

I would be upset if my kid completely changed his name (especially if I didn't like it.)  If he just wanted to go by his middle name, then I wouldn't be so upset.  I actually wanted to use his middle name as his first, but DH wouldn't go for it.  DH actually decided to go by his MN when he was about 5 years old and eventually his parents went along with it. 

If my son changed his last name I would think that was weird.  If I had a daughter and she changed her last name when she got married, I would be fine.  If she didn't change her name I would be fine, too.  It seems like hardly any women change their last names when they get married these days..  I found that out when I was mailing out my wedding invitations.  I changed mine, though.  I had a Polish monstrosity that I was all to glad to abandon. 

Pamiejane

My mom decided when she was 5 that people needed to call her by her middle name from that point on.  She hated the fact that people shortened her name first name to Mags or Maggie.

If my son changed his last name I probably would not mind too much but my DH and his family would be very upset.  When we got married I wanted to keep my own last name, but they all got so upset about it so I figured it was not worth fighting for.  I loved my surname - it is short (5letters) and just "goes" with my first name.  My DH's last name is long (11 letters), unspellable and basically just does not work.  But for the sake of family peace I took it.  If my son wanted to change it I would understand (especially if he changed it to mine. lol)

Matildasun

FutureMrs.Steen:

I also would be very sad if my son changed his last name. I just feel that it's a lack of respect to his family and culture. Obviously I would get over it, but it would definitely bother me.

Did you change your name when you got married? If so, isn't that disrespectful to your family and culture?

I hate the double standard in this. I didn't change my name and neither did my husband, which I personally think is respectful to both families, however his family was put out with me.

If we had both changed our names to a new family name there also would have been backlash.

I get the legacy of names, but it bothers me that it is always only the paternal line.

northtamarack

Sxia:

(Not for marriage purposes-- girls only). My aunt was named Lynn Robin and changed it to just be Robin. My friend was Anita, always hated it and now changed her complete name. (FN is now Miriam.) DH and I both changed our last names when we got married.

How would you feel if your child changed their first name?

How would you feel if your son changed his last name?

 

DH and I actually had to think about changing his first name when we got married for legal reasons.  His parents gave him cultural name when he was born.  When his parents brought him home, his aunts gave him a nickname which has stuck this whole time.  There are very few people who actually know that it isn't his given name.

Legally, I could see this being a very big headache as he has accounts in both names.  So, when we got married, he actually changed his first name legally to the nickname, and then his birth name (first and middle) are now his middle name.  He did not change his last name. 

I got really mad at him as he told his parents over the phone, so we didn't get to see their expression.  They have never said a peep, but I wonder how they truly feel about this. 

Personally, I would be hurt, but would move on.  Its not the end of the world.

MandyWes

Sxia:

(Not for marriage purposes-- girls only). My aunt was named Lynn Robin and changed it to just be Robin. My friend was Anita, always hated it and now changed her complete name. (FN is now Miriam.) DH and I both changed our last names when we got married.

How would you feel if your child changed their first name?

How would you feel if your son changed his last name?

I would be hurt if my child wanted to change their first name. I think a lot of people don't learn to appreciate their name until they become adults so obviously if my child hated their name as an adult and wanted to change it, then they are an adult and can make that decision but I don't have to like it or agree with it.

My DH and I would NOT be okay if my son changed his last name. I think we would look at it as disrepectful. My DH's father recently died at a young age and we hope to have a boy one day to keep the last name going. There are only 2 males in my DH's family to carry on the last name (including my DH).

scubaspot

I would be hurt. My sister has a "boys" name and always hated it. She didn't mind her middle name so we have always called her by her middle name or the nn associated with her middle name. She never felt a need to legally change her name.

If my child decided to go by their mn I wouldn't be hurt. For me it would be the legally changing of the name. To go through a legal process to change their name would tell me that they hated it so much that they weren't able to even slightly tolerate it. 

If my son changed his last name both DH and I would be hurt. As a man your first name is something that represents you as a person whereas your last name represents your family and culture.To have my son change his last name would make me feel like the history of his family was irrelevant to him. 

If my daughter decided not to take her husbands name when she married I would be disappointed. It would tell me that she wasn't proud of becoming part of his family and their history. We are choosing to give our DD family names so that she will always have a piece of our family even after she marries and changes her last name. 

GeoffreytheGiraffe

scubaspot:

I would be hurt. My sister has a "boys" name and always hated it. She didn't mind her middle name so we have always called her by her middle name or the nn associated with her middle name. She never felt a need to legally change her name.

If my child decided to go by their mn I wouldn't be hurt. For me it would be the legally changing of the name. To go through a legal process to change their name would tell me that they hated it so much that they weren't able to even slightly tolerate it. 

If my son changed his last name both DH and I would be hurt. As a man your first name is something that represents you as a person whereas your last name represents your family and culture.To have my son change his last name would make me feel like the history of his family was irrelevant to him. 

If my daughter decided not to take her husbands name when she married I would be disappointed. It would tell me that she wasn't proud of becoming part of his family and their history. We are choosing to give our DD family names so that she will always have a piece of our family even after she marries and changes her last name. 

 

oh, so only men get to have culture and history, got it. 

 So women never get thier own name?  It always belongs to some other male?  Bullshit.

A baby is given a name at birth that becomes their own.  It is the baby's moniker to do with what they will...be it for good or evil.   It is no longer that baby's father's name, but rather the baby's name boy or girl.

I cannot fathom a woman who would  declare a female has no name of her own...

WheelerToBe

matildasun:

FutureMrs.Steen:

I also would be very sad if my son changed his last name. I just feel that it's a lack of respect to his family and culture. Obviously I would get over it, but it would definitely bother me.

Did you change your name when you got married? If so, isn't that disrespectful to your family and culture?

I hate the double standard in this. I didn't change my name and neither did my husband, which I personally think is respectful to both families, however his family was put out with me.

If we had both changed our names to a new family name there also would have been backlash.

I get the legacy of names, but it bothers me that it is always only the paternal line.

I feel like not changing my name would make me an outside in my new family.  My husband and 2 kids share a last name and I keep my own.  It looks like I wasn't fully a member of the family.  Like when famous people don't change their last name I think it is because they know they will get divorced and want it to be as easy as possible.