Dilemmas, dilemmas...what to do....

DandR

So, until last night, I was all about "redshirting" Audrey next year for Kindergarten. Why?  Because the nest said so.  Ok, not entirely, but some conversations here did sway me that way and the more I thought about it, I thought I should....but then at conferences last night her teacher surprised me and said I really shouldn't.....but the decision is mine to make.  I know i have plenty of time to obsess about this, and I will probably obsess a lot over the next few months.

I'm going to do a clicky poll after I write all this out.

Reasons TO redshirt Audrey.

1. Then there will be a "buffer" year between her and Tay....less competition when they are older.

2. Sometimes I think maturity wise she's not ready.  At least at home.  Teacher was "shocked" when I brought that up.  She is very mature acting at school and her teacher called her the "glue" among the girls friendship wise...she's the girl they all go to for whatever.

3. Her b-day is in September..towards the end...the cutoff here is October 15th, so she really will be one of the younger ones and the cutoff everywhere else is so much earlier....ok I found a website and added up and of the states that were listed, exactly half have a cutoff before her birthday and half are after.

4. My mom who is a teacher thinks I should, based soley on the fact that "teachers can tell a difference" and she "prefers" the older kids in her class....but that is mostly about her and not Audrey.

Reasons NOT TO reshirt Audrey.

1. Acedemically she is the same level Tay was last year, so she is ready, acedemically...and Taylor is bored in school already...so waiting a year, I'm afraid A will be insanely bored...(I'm not real pleased with Tay's teacher and have a meeting set up with her to discuss Taylor's boredom)

2. Having a sister that is a grade older will sort of pull her along if she ever were to fall behind (not that I see that happening, but you never know)

3. Her preschool teacher said last night at conferences that she shouldn't be held back...and I trust her "expert" opinion (she was a kindy and first grade teacher for 30+ years and this preschool gig is her retirement job...so she **knows** and wouldn't just say that)

4. I don't think its that common around here to redshirt.  So it isn't like she will be the only 4 turning 5 year old starting kindy.

5. I'd almost rather have her the "last" in her class to drive, or whatever "milestone" happens at birthdays...because I was the oldest in my class and it sort of sucked to always be the one who had to drive everywhere.  (yeah, I know that one is about me, not her.)

6. Plus, Tay and her will be in the same schools most throughout their school life....which will be nice for carpooling or for when Tay can drive.

[Poll]

AnnapolisLari

I would hold her back if she's that close to the cutoff.

I was a 9/16 baby with a 9/30 cutoff, and I was always one of the 5 youngest in the class. (I graduated with 692 people).

Academically, I was fine, but probably could have used the extra year in other respects. Makes me glad that it won't be an issue with both of mine-- they will be nearly 6 before they start Kindergarten.

Brewster

I was an Aug. bday, so one of the youngest.  I should have been held back, as I was not ready.  I always struggled in school and was later diagnosed with learning disabilities. (That's obviously just my personal experience.)  You hated being the oldest, as I hated being the youngest.  Maybe it's the grass is always greener type situation. 

Since she is that close, I would play it by ear.   I voted for now to send her, but I would just keep an open mind as the year goes along.  

CBKMRB

I'm 12/15 and at the time the deadline was 12/30.  Back then my parents decided to keep me home another year and to this day they say they regret that decision.  They say they should have sent me when I was old enough and not kept me the extra year, I was ready, they were just nervous. 

DandR

Brewster:

I was an Aug. bday, so one of the youngest.  I should have been held back, as I was not ready.  I always struggled in school and was later diagnosed with learning disabilities. (That's obviously just my personal experience.)  You hated being the oldest, as I hated being the youngest.  Maybe it's the grass is always greener type situation. 

Since she is that close, I would play it by ear.   I voted for now to send her, but I would just keep an open mind as the year goes along.  

this is exactly what I'm thinking brew!!!  Pros and cons to being the oldest and youngest. Yeah, I'm not ruling out either option yet....I probably should stop obsessing about it until 2010 though! hahahaha.

shopgirl78

I was also one of the younger kids in the class (with a summer birthday).   Socially and maybe acedemically I was immature however I didn't go to prek or daycare which I think can be advantages....I plan to send DD to K next year and she is NINE days before the cutoff however she is in Prek4 FT in the same public school system that she will be in next year.  Her teacher has nothing but wonderful things to say about her and stated she is one of the smarter kids in the class.  I have no doubts about the teacher holding her back and I also trust her opinion.  We talked about this (brought up by me) at the last teacher conference. (and I also got the feeling redshirting isn't popular here)  Unless somethings changes, its a go for us.  I think she would be utterly bored sitting through prek again.  

Also, I think our school system assigns classrooms with birthdays in mind, most of DDs class has summer birthdays.  

shopgirl_07

I was always waaayyy younger, as my bday is in Dec. It was never an issue for me, as I was ready for school and was always ahead academically.

It sounds as if your girl is ready and that her teacher really believes so too. In this case, I think it would be sad to hold her back. As far as I can tell from what you've written, there's absolutely no reason for her not to go next year.

VivaAmore

I'm torn. My DH and my sister were both "young" in their class and both suffered from LOW self-confidence. DH (32yo) has since overcome this, but my sister (at 35yo) still hasn't. I really do believe (in their case) it was from always being the youngest in their class and the last among their peers to reach milestones.

Goose51504

I voted to send her. Academically, she's 100% ready. Socially and emotionally, she's got an entire year yet to grow and mature. Play things by ear and see where she is this summer. And, definitely don't let the cut off scare you.

Girls typically do better being the youngest in their class. My b-day is 8/22 and I had only been 5 for about two weeks before entering K. I did great all throughout school. Then again, I was the oldest child, had two years of preschoo/Pre-K under my belt and had a teacher as a parent. I would have been extremely bored having been held back. (I was actually a little bored in K, according to my parents).

Don't worry about this now. Seriously, think about it around June and see how much A has matured. And, don't let Tay's anxiety issues this year cloud your judgment. A is your little independent girl and might just surprise you. Good luck! I know you'll make the right decision.

 

Brewster

Oh, and I will say 9 times out of 10 those that struggle are the summer bdays/youngest ones.  That doesn't mean every summer bday struggles though. 

MommyofAlissa

I voted to not hold her.

Here are my reasons: Alissa is a 9/10 baby. We could have held her because she was so close but chose not too. I am glad we didn't. You probably remember that I was worried about her emotional level and whether or not she would do well because of that, well let me tell you.....Alissa is a new kid since she started kindergarten. She doesn't act up as much, she is interested in learning, loves being around the other kids, etc. She was such a shy kid before K and now she isn't. It's really been a wonderful change.

neesernicole

I would really keep tabs on what her current teacher is saying.

My sister, also middle child, had a 8-23 bday with a 9-1 cut-off. My parents sent her b/c she was a lot like Audrey (academically ready) and the preschool teacher felt she would succeed. And she did.

I wouldn't focus so much on the Audrey/Taylor "buffer" thing. At least I would try not to. If Tay were 5 years older, would this be such a big part of the decision?

GL and really, try not to worry about it. When the time gets closer, you'll know.

mauceddie

I've always heard the rule of thumb was to redshirt boys but not girls (unless there was an obvious reason to do so).

 

Ciarrai

My mom (also a teacher) almost always recommends "red shirting" these days.  First of all, so may parents do, your DD will be over a year younger than some of the kids in the class.  As many people said, being the oldest or on the older end of a class is rarely a bad thing but being the youngest can be.  It's not as much of a concern now, but what about when she's 10 and in class with 12-year-olds or even 13-year-olds who have been held back?  She's maybe still playing with dolls and some of the other girls in her class are "going on dates" or more.  It's rarely an academic things or even maturity at age 5 (according to my mom) and more often a social thing.  Just MHO.  YMMV

DandR

Ciarrai:

My mom (also a teacher) almost always recommends "red shirting" these days.  First of all, so may parents do, your DD will be over a year younger than some of the kids in the class.  As many people said, being the oldest or on the older end of a class is rarely a bad thing but being the youngest can be.  It's not as much of a concern now, but what about when she's 10 and in class with 12-year-olds or even 13-year-olds who have been held back?  She's maybe still playing with dolls and some of the other girls in her class are "going on dates" or more.  It's rarely an academic things or even maturity at age 5 (according to my mom) and more often a social thing.  Just MHO.  YMMV

ugh!  See...now I was leaning towards sending her until THIS!  hahahaha...

 

JenniC1135

I'm of the opinion that far too many parents redshirt their kids hoping the extra year will make them ready for the highest reading and math groups, and I don't like that.  I taught 1st & 2nd grades for eight years before staying home with my kids, and age rarely mattered when it came to success, especially with the girls.  I think that unless the child is unusually immature or behind in certain areas, that they should start Kindergarten on time.  FWIW, I was 4 when I started K, with a Sep. birthday and an August start date, and a Dec. cutoff - lots of 4 year olds started with me.