I'm going observe DD at school today because um..

TwoChickens

Every morning she cries saying she doesn't want to go to school.

She told me this morning that several kids in her class hit her (she named the individual kids) but then she said "I get in trouble when they hit me.  The teacher smacks my bottom and puts me in the corner".

So...I'm going observe and if I see something I don't like, I'm going to be livid.

Now.  If you were in my shoes, would you believe your DC or chalk it up to imaginative 3 1/2 year old?

Temp108743750006959

eeek. I don't know what I would do, but I would be inclined to believe my child -- but my kid is not much of a liar or into 'made up stories for dramatic effect' (so far).

FriskyPanda

Do you spank her at home? I'm trying to understand how she knows people get swatted on their bottom.

Mrs.Tony

It's hard to say but I'd go in in observe for sure!!! My DD tells me she talks to "nobody" and I am not sure I believe that.

rbidi

Observing is a good idea. Just make sure you truly observe first, meaning stand quietly off to the side, don't say anything, don't interact. You'd be surprised how natural children will act when your there and they don't realize your there. But if you interact, you may not get an actual picture of whats going on. The other kids may not do what they normally do. I would never chalk anything up to an imaginative 3 year old, not these days, I always check on things first.

Sunflower777

To tell you the truth, I don't think I could decide until I observed my 3.5 year old DS in class, either. It could easily go either way. 

Are you going to be incognito in the classroom? DS acted very different the day I was in his class as a class helper. I'd imagine the other kids would too, if some hitting was really going on and they knew the child's mom was there that day.  

TwoChickens

She gets the rare smack on the hand but I've never spanked her on the rear.  And to add to it, I NEVER put my kids in the corner.  Never ever. 

And she has a very vivid imagination but not one that would make her cry or make her upset.  She's good but not THAT good.

TwoChickens

There's a 2 way mirror in the classroom.

VivaAmore

My DD likes to make up stories but it's pretty clear to me when she is and isn't making it up. It can't hurt to go and observe though.

Bride2b2004

I would believe my child.  

I see others say it is a good idea, but what is observing going to do?  Kids sometimes fight, so even if you see that, IDK if I would be concerned, but it is the teacher that is a concern... Doesn't the teacher know when you are observing?  So even if she meets your expectations, would you feel comfortable?  I wouldn't because it would be what she does when I am not watching that would worry me... 

I would ask the teacher to see what her story is and if it doesn't clearly show as a reasonable misunderstanding (e.g., the girls were fighting over chalk and when I pulled away your DD I saw chalk on her bottom from sitting in it and I was trying to wipe it off not spank her), I would not be sending my child back there.  

IMO certain things can be worked around for a good school, but nobody hits my child.  Ever.

TwoChickens

The teacher won't know I'm observing.  The classroom door is always closed so unless she walks out, she won't see me.

ridesbuttons

TwoChickens:

There's a 2 way mirror in the classroom.

But the caregivers will still know that you are there, right?

I'd still go watch, but don't expect to see much with respect to any out of line discipline with the caregivers (if it even ever happens).

Bride2b2004

TwoChickens:

The teacher won't know I'm observing.  The classroom door is always closed so unless she walks out, she won't see me.

Okay, that makes more sense.  Even if things go well today, I would ask her about the situation your dd mentioned. 

Jodi&Joe

I would be suspect of a classroom that has a two way mirror and a way in to that room w/out the teacher knowing.

I'm all for security -- and observing.  But good God, it sounds like a police precinct -- not a classroom!

Bellisimo

Actually the two way mirror classroom deal is more common than you might think.  The child development center on the campus of the college I attended was set up this way and even had headphones for listening to their interactions and dialogues.  It had its own entrance separate from the classroom entrance.  The purpose of it was for child development students to observe as part of the lab portion of some of our classes....and for parents to be able to come observe any time they wanted.  

Yodajo

DS's preschool has a two way mirror as well.  Its in a high school and the high school students teach in the class as part of their curriculum. 

I would believe my child if he came to me and said this.  He is very articulate though and truthful.  You know your DD and if your instincts tell you she's telling you an accurate story, I'd listen.

GL.  I hope observing helps.  I'd have a meeting with the teacher as well.

#6

There is a 2 way mirror/window in ours as well and I love it. I like being able to go and watch how my kids interact with other kids and see how they do in "class". 

I go on my days off all the time. 

JOEBunny

My 3.5 year old is always saying that people yell at her when in fact, they just tell her she can't do something she should not do.  3.5 year olds are very imaginative.

knmommy

My 3 1/2 yo LOVES school, I don't think she is being imaginitive.  I tend to believe my children. 

I doubt they will do anything to her w/you "observing" though.  KWIM?  I would be livid if my DD came home saying something like that.