Poll - Name Change

eclaires

I'm just curious about this, because I didn't.  Mostly out of laziness in the beginning and later because I graduated law school w/ my maiden name so I figured I'd eventually add MH's last name if I ever felt like it.

However, now that I'm in TN, I get major side eye for having my maiden name.  I've had it questioned/had problems 3 times in the few months we've lived here.

So on principle because I like to be childish and contrary, I'm considering not adding his name at all now.  LOL.  Not really, but I'm not motivated to add it either.

I do use his name socially, so I don't get all butthurt if someone calls me by his last name.

[Poll]

buffalo_buckeye

I like how they do it in Italy. The woman basically "keeps" her name except in formal situations. So they are Mr and Mrs. Married last name, but otherwise she has the same name. Makes sense to me.

eclaires

buffalo_buckeye:

I like how they do it in Italy. The woman basically "keeps" her name except in formal situations. So they are Mr and Mrs. Married last name, but otherwise she has the same name. Makes sense to me.

Hmm, I should be Italian since I basically do that, LOL!  I do like it, and it does make sense!

karen6784

I have yet to change my name.  I am known by both my maiden & last names.  If I feel fancy, I will hyphenate. 

Funny that you mention this.  I have been thinking about legally changing to my married name.  It sounds like a PITA !

emilykristene2006

I actually changed my middle name to my maiden name and took DH's last name.

cokt

?I kept my maiden name because I liked it and because as a teacher I was used to being called by it and honestly I was too lazy to change it. We have now moved to where MH's practice is so I use his name socially. But seriously, I am still too lazy to change it at this point so I will keep my maiden name. And I didn't answer your poll because there was not a too lazy option :-)

firefightersgal

My BFF struggled with whether she wanted to take her DH's last name or not.  In the end, she decided to take his last name, but have two middle names--one being her maiden name.  So it isn't really hyphenated, but it is still there.

gracendantho26

I took my husband's name but honestly I just don't like the way my maiden name sounds and DH's is super simple and I just prefered it with my first name. Had I liked my maiden name more I would have dropped my middle name and did first, maiden, married name.

Halo79RN

I think it's different when you have certain professional careers...  (aside from wanting to keep your own name).  My dh is a scientist w/ his phd and has many peer reviewed publications.. there were many women in his graduate program who did not change their names b/c of their publications.   I don't see a big deal either way.. I wanted my dh's name for sentimental reasons. it was more symbolic for me.  I don't think it's nearly as big of a deal to not have the same last name.

Goose51504

I did not and will not. MH knew this going into our relationship and is/was totally fine with it. The only thing he asked is that I not hyphenate our names. No problem there, buddy.

Seriously, it's really not a big deal and doesn't make you "less married" or "less faithful." I think the whole concept of changing one's name when you get married is ridiculous. What does it prove? Does it make one's marriage stronger? HARDLY.

 

summerbrideDC

I've just been too lazy.  got married, started back at work, got knocked up, was on bedrest, had a preemie--that was the first year.  Hard to find time to change it then.  Since then, just lazy.  Maybe for our 5th anniversary I'll get it together.

MarchMom06

Mine is somewhat of a special snowflake "no". I didn't change my last name because the concpet of a woman changing her name is completely foreign to DH & he was against it. I was open either way, but in his background/culture women keep their own name.

eclaires

LOL, I SHOULD have added a too lazy option since that was my initial reason.

Now I just don't see the point, because it would be a hassle.  If I do it, I would just add his name, like FFG's friend did.  That way I could use either.

But seriously, I got the side eye for this at the doctor's office [twice] and one of our utilities is in my name and they gave my husband a lot of attitude because he sent an e-check for the bill and on our e-checks, whoever initiates the check is the name on the check even thought it is a joint account [also important to note: he put the account # and the address matched the one the utility company had].  So now he has to put a memo on the check that says FOR ELIZABETH MAIDENNAME b/c the account number isn't good enough apparently.

Kapalua

I changed it because eh, it's just a name.  I don't tie my identity to it (though I might feel differently if I had all sorts of accomplishments under my maiden name-but I don't)  I figured it would be easier when we had kids to all have the same name.  Plus, his last name is pretty cool-if it were stupid I might have thought twice. =p

npeacock

Kapalua:

I changed it because eh, it's just a name.  I don't tie my identity to it (though I might feel differently if I had all sorts of accomplishments under my maiden name-but I don't)  I figured it would be easier when we had kids to all have the same name.  Plus, his last name is pretty cool-if it were stupid I might have thought twice. =p

This, but I took about a year to do it... mostly out of being lazy.

GrowingFamily

When we got married, my maiden name became my legal middle name & I took DH's last name as my last name. No hyphen.   I made my maiden name my MN because my oldest son's biological father would not grant him a name change.  At that time, my son's last name was my maiden name.  So, in keeping my maiden name as a middle name, when I had to do things pertaining to DS, I would sign my full name.  When it was something having nothing to do with DS, I would just sign my first & last name.  DH has since adopted my DS (5 years ago), so it's not an issue now, but for 2+ years it was.

femmegem

I'm the same as you. I kept my last name legally, but socially go by DH's last name.

I had thought about hyphenating, but it just never got around to it and now I'm just too lazy to deal with it.

DevonPow

I hated how my last name flowed with my first (as in, it didn't. At all). I was so excited to change it, just because it sounds so much better now! LOL. Plus, my sister and I are the only girls in something like 6 generations in my family, so my maiden name will certainly live on even without my help.

PinkPiano

I never considered not changing my name.  My maiden name was kind of a weird word...an adjective, but not a flattering one.  Otherwise, I'd want it changed just so I could have the same lastname as my kids. 

gracendantho26

It actually really helps me with work because I work for my dads company and talk to people a lot on the phone to update them on certain things regading the industry and I'd hate to call and say "this is Kelli Maiden calling from *insert company name* with *insert my dad's first name and obviously my maiden name*. Then I'd blow my cover that my employ at the company is legit.

shouldbeworkin

I wouldn't have minded making my maiden name my MN, but it is the same name as BIL's FN so it was confusing.  I had no problems professionally, but I have a distinctive FN that helps.

GettinNervous

I changed mine, only because he wanted me to. I really didn't want to, but I didn't want any noise from him or his family. Now we are divorced, and although I would love to have my maiden name back, it was such a PITA to change it the first time that I just cannot go through that again and don't even care what my last name is now. It's such a ROYAL PITA to change it!!

mamarazzi

I hyphenated because I didn't want to "give up" my maiden name.  Not only do I feel like it's a part of me, but I'm one of three daughters.  My grandpa and his brother are the only ones carrying on the name and my grandpa's grandsons will likely never marry or procreate and my great-uncle's only son is gay.

My SIL kept her maiden name, so in my H's family, none of the wives have the H's name (straight-up anyway.)

I use just my H's name and my hyphenated name interchangably.

ccm1203

I made my maiden name my middle name. Partly because I like my maiden name and party because my married name is common.

katie277s

It never really crossed my mind to not change it.  I didn't keep my maiden name as a middle name, because it is such a long and unusual name that it would have been silly.  My DH was fine either way, but I wanted to do it.  I am really surprised at the number of people who didn't take their DH's name.  Maybe I am just old fashioned. 

Brideofranken

I added his (no hyphen, it just hangs..) but I rarely use it. I don't like it. I do like mine. but I like that we all have it in some form or other, if it weren't for the kids, I would NEVER use it.

SumnerBride

It took me over a year to finally change it over.  I was 28 when I got married, and I had TONS ofshit in my name that had to be changed.  It was overwhelming to me.  So, I took my time.  That, and I was a lot more sad about losing my maiden name than I thought I would've been.  My last name was original, and his is very plain.  Also, DH was very hurt that I didn't jump at the chance to take his last name.  He said he wouldn't have married me if he'd have thought that I would've kept my name, or hyphenated.  He thinks women that do that are PITA's.

It's been a few years now since having his, and while it is easier, I still miss my last name.

DandelionMom

I kept my name, we hyphenated for the kids, and socially we all go by the hyphenated name.

happ17

I wanted to keep my name, but DH was hurt about it. So I said, okay, I'll push my maiden name to my middle name spot (I don't have one) and take your last name, but the stupid city clerk we ended up with said we couldn't do that (though I know people who did, boo) without going to court.
 

So, I use his last name for everything but work. But at work, I just added his last name, but basically use my maiden name, since that's how I'm known in my field.  

YouAreMyILoveYou

Because we had Isabella before we were married and I gave her DH's last name (after a lot of thought... I didn't want to have a different last name than my child and I knew we weren't getting married anytime soon) I knew I was changing my name as soon as we got married.

In my passport my name is name: Rebecca Ann Maiden surname: Married because I didn't want to change everything into my married name (student loan, mortgage, certain bank accounts). My state wouldn't do it to my drivers license w/out a court name change. It makes things a lot easier to have one legal document showing both names.

 

LestaMarie

I'm surprised by how many people on here have kept their maiden names after marriage.  Not that I think it's not okay or anything - I just don't know anyone IRL that kept their maiden name after getting married.  My MIL changed her middle name to her maiden name and then took FIL's last name, and I considered doing that, but it would have been too many Is and Os for my taste (we both have long Italian last names).  So I just dropped my maiden name.  It didn't really occur to me to not take his name at all - as a married couple, I just think it's important for us to share the same last name, and for our kids to have that same name, too.  We're both really traditional and it was never really discussed - we just both knew it was going to happen.

BubblyToes

I did, but my maiden name is my middle name now.  (I hated my original middle name.  Well, hated how if flowed with my first namehyphenated, but I use them both.

dpdw

emilykristene2006:

I actually changed my middle name to my maiden name and took DH's last name.

same here